Home - Live at Glastonbury - Zero 7

Passing By - Zero 7

I dont think
you love me
confusion
setting in

Theres no question
that I love you
but I'm living in
my own time

But here I am
debating
whether I'm wrong
or right

Who
am I
To make a judgement of
your life?



I'm only
Passing by (passing by)

All the promises I gave you
helped me
to survive
and all the times I wish
you'd say to me
You're the love
of my life

Who
am I
to make a judgement of
your life?

Moonlight Sonata - 3rd Movement (Sick!)

Moonlight Sonata - 2nd Movement

Moonlight Sonata, 1st Movement - Beethoven

For Ms. Holloway

In a way
we all
keep rare flowers in our office
cut them back
feed them
turn them to the light
breathe poison into them
and they return oxygen
light presence
and other semi-permanent marks

Just for kicks
I seem to recall
red pens
falling
onto an empty passengerside
I wondered if
I should stop
Think about
the glancing blow that landed too hard
the one I got
from my best friend
the drops
one by one
falling on the shore
of a lost weekend

What goes on in that head of yours, Ms. Holloway?
six cuts up your leg
you am more alone
than anyone can say

Yes I was into posting record lyrics
no I wasn't looking for paint it black
I was looking for Gimme shelter

You're fired.

One more thing
The next time you remove
from these rare and beautiful things
that which moves beneath the surface
killing it
an pinning it to an office memorandum
I will ...

And thats when it hits
I don't like it.

What. Goes. On. Inside. That. Head . Of. Yours ? Ms. Holloway

See me in my office.

Rope Model Needed

I need to document an innovative tie. Work will be slightly dangerous. No personal or identifying information will be required, simply the ability to execute a few simple ties and then send the photography back to me for purposes of illustrating a new, fast release tie.

No chickens please.

Best Practices of Home Office Workplaces

Alligator Pool Toys: When,and not if, are presented with a giant translucent green alligator pool toy to blow up, while you are working at your home office on a very important proposal , simply do the following:

1. Place alligator across arms.
2. Assume proper position on the keyboard resting fingers on home row and alligator pool toy across the forearms.
3. Grasp alligator valvestem with your teeth
4. Bite. Holding the Alligator in Place with your teeth.
5. Blow.
6. ..And make sure your proposal doesn't suck.

Give then-inflated, giant, green-translucent pool toy to strangely diminutive office denizen (worker?) who will shriek with joy, take off to another part of your professional workplace where he will proceed to jump on it. Note striking similiaries between these actions and those observed at your in-town office.

The Arm Doesn't Bend Outward.

The Zen Koan - Asaki + Fuller. p.140, Six Character Sayings

Every Day is Exactly the Same - NIN [AMV]

Paint it Black - M. Jagger/ K. Richards

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

I see a line of cars and they're all painted black
With flowers and my love both never to come back
I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
Like a new born baby it just happens ev'ry day

I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door and it has been painted black
Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts
It's not easy facin' up when your whole world is black

No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue
I could not foresee this thing happening to you

If I look hard enough into the settin' sun
My love will laugh with me before the mornin' comes

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

I wanna see it painted, painted black
Black as night, black as coal
I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky
I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted black


from Obama's playlist

So Cold - Breaking Benjamin

Coming to terms with the Year of the Horse

The genesis of this blog was a sort of review of Thomas Mann's letter to the academics of the University system in Nazi Germany, asking them to consider what precisely why they were destroying the traditions and intellectual character of the land he loved - and replacing it with the myth of the Aryan nation.

And perhaps some of my best writing has been political in nature. I think the myDD guys liked some of the stuff I did, writing about JFK. Recurrent themes are the connection of kink to the origin of life (molecular driven networks) with specific focus on communications (something I saw once, on the dark ocean. will get back to this I promise). And yes, one day I'm going to add a study of the Parajano in Brazil to that line. Those guys who have that exceptional structure. You don't know them yet. And they don't want to know you. Lucky you've got me, right?

Please believe me when I say I just write whether I'm going to get laid for it or not. Its my way of understanding the color of language. I have other things to think about than sex. Like say. Uh... well. It will come to me... omg. Did I say the word "come"?

I am married! Even though I look alot like a single dad. My wife is definitely not imaginary.

And for the record, apart from two hookers and a submissive, I've never cheated on her. Although I will freely discuss the hookers (the second one was awful!), I'm kind of silent on the issue of the submissive at this point. I guess because, I am at least partly a whore .. and I would like to stay in good company.

I did ask my wife for a divorce a few nights ago. But she just ignored me. Is it me? This is the second time in as many days. I am tall. Am I that hard to miss, in the room? Am I a cheshire cat.. ? I decided to do some web research on this subject..

I'm hoping there's a colony somewhere of lost cheshire cats and this is their emissary. I look at this picture and part of me says.. yes,... I AM a cheshire cat.

But what I wanted to come to terms with here was a specific aspect of my birth year, The year of the horse. I've already gone over the fact that this is a birth year that is supposed to have complete compatibility to sheep. I love the feel of wool against my skin.

No. I am going to try to get down to the five line post, that this blog post should have been / the focus point here being that my birth year predicts I will try to avoid everyday work - that I don't want to miss something new happening. So, avoiding or trying to put off everday work? These wiley chinese zodiac guys are basically saying, that I am the kind of guy who would post on a blog somewhere instead of ... working....

Dick Cheney on Iraq

Then Secretary of Defense.

Bioephemera

I like this blog (linked to picture above / on Bioephemera), because I'm a science guy, and because the person who writes it turns me on.

Old Man - Neil Young

Caring is Creepy - The Shins

I think i'll go home and mull this over
Before i cram it down my throat
At long last it's crashed, it's colossal mass
Has broken up into bits in my moat.

Lift the mattress off the floor
Walk the cramps off
Go meander in the cold
Hail to your dark skin
Hiding the fact you're dead again
Underneath the power lines , seeking shade -
far above our heads are the icy heights that contain all reason

(It's a luscious mix of words and tricks)
That let us bet when you know we should fold
(On rocks i dreamt of where we'd stepped )
And of the whole of the mess of roads (we're now on)


Hold your glass up, hold it in
Never betray the way you've always known it is.
One day i'll be wondering how
I got so old just wondering how
I never got cold wearing nothing in the snow.

This is way beyond my remote concern
Of being condescending
(All these squawking birds won't quit).
Building nothing,
(laying bricks)


"Wisdom is found only in truth" - Johann Wolfgang Goethe.

Steppin' Out - The Andrews Sisters

We planted flags on the graves of soldiers this morning. It was a very old cemetery. The children don't really understand.

Later today we ran into my daughter's orchestra conductor. He was in the video store with a dark eyed woman. I shook his hand and asked him where I could find a Cello. He offered us one of his, that my daughter might use for the summer to practice. She got a perfect 100 on her music this year, and played first Cello for the orchestra.

Her best song is John Williams "Air, and Simple Gifts" based on a shaker song of a similiar line.

Cello always sounds so sad. I hope she doesn't take life too seriously. There were a lot of graves there in the Cemetery that didn't have any names on them. Fallen. Unknown soldiers. A stone in the ground with a number and the word - adult.

Happy Memorial Day.

Sonnet 130 - William Shakespeare

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damasked, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress when she walks treads on the ground.
  And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
  As any she belied with false compare.


For the romantic in everyone

Climb - Miley Cyrus

Woods / Sunday Stats for Lead

Did you know that Tiger Woods is 14-0 when he has the lead on Sunday? That is, if Woods is leading after 54 holes, he has won every. single. time. ...

Peace. love. and Tiger.

Praise You - Fatboy Slim

If you can read this message, you're too close!

1950's Narrator

Hi
I'm a Narrator
My voice sounds like its from the 1950's

I'm hear to tell you
your horoscope
when the blue light is flashing
everything in the store
is 50 percent off

This is where I live
in Aisle Six
right next to the mittens
and the lawn chairs
Nobody notices me here at night
A person with a criminal record
sweeps the floor, at times
I've heard him shout 'Please!'
as if its an expletive
But
(chuckling noise)
* nods his head *
I'm a sound sleeper

I'm here to say
anything that needs to be said
with Slack
or in a really subgenius kind of way
Just because my voice is so authoritative
and warm
and friendly
You almost want to trust me, without ever seeing me

I take a shower with the handsoap
and toilet water
and paper towels
Nice and clean
Smile for the Camera

I live off hostess twinkies
and devil dogs
and leftover cartons of milk
and ho-hos.

There's the blue light flashing
and it looks like the virgin madonna of shopping has arrived

Don't forget to get her autograph
Oh look. There's little Billy
she's signing his nose
Thanks, Virgin Madonna!

This is the voice of your 1950's Narrator
Repeat
This is the voice of your 1950's Narrator

We interrupt this poem to bring you a special message
* shuffles papers *

President Cheney
Has raised the National Terror Alert

We have now raised the National Terror Alert to Yellow
Repeat - Condition Yellow

Shop as usual.
... And avoid panic buying

The River - Enya / LOTR [AMV]

Clocks

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked,"What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

" Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded,"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's Dick Cheney's clock?" asked the man.

"Cheney's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."
I was a republican, once..just once.

- from my life as a princess

Lords of Dogtown

I get my board today. W00t

Useless

I am a waste of electrons, water, air and food
I am boring, worthless, flaccid, insane
I am a parasite

My work is of the lowest quality
I add nothing to society
My lifestyle is sterile
My car is a mess

I am overweight, soft around the middle, graying
I have a small cock
I am unethical, fawning, clingy, obsessive compulsive
I have a black heart
shrivelled up balls
flabby sides
yellow teeth
bloodshot eyes

I breed disease
In relationships
I will find the center in you
I will chew it up and leave

I am a bad father
DFACs has come to my door
I have beaten my wife repeatedly. Made her bleed
I have thrown her in the shower and slapped her around

I have destroyed value in companies
Taken money from investors and never returned it
Promised sales that never arrived
Spent company cash personally

My career is a worthless hodge-podge of half finished jobs
every piece of software I ever wrote is either
obsolete
or thrown away
My skillset is ancient.

I run slower than a herd of fertile turtles
When I run a Marathon, I am lucky to come in 2,003rd
My times are almost always nearly last

I have whored myself out to chicks
and I am an unfaithful, thankless husband
My wife is totally right
to have kicked out the windshield of my BMW

I am hollow and cold inside
A worthless provider for my family
I can barely keep food on the table and the lawn cut
I spend hours pretending to be someone I am not

I am growing more and more stupid as time goes on
Yesterday someone gave me a sequence
I looked it up on google
And pretended that I solved it
I am a worthless Math-slut
A hopeless romantic

I take credit for other people's work
I brag about my accomplishments
some of which are nothing more than glorified markup
others, simply half finished research
or software

My children are emotionally wrecked
full of anxiety
They get bad grades, go to bad schools and don't have any friends
My marriage is destroyed

I have a small number of friends
I owe them money
I owe employees back salary
I owe banks, credit card companies, and investors
I can no longer pay any debt service
I am for all intents and purposes, bankrupt
Socially. Professionally. Ethically.
If not legally
My bank accounts are garnished and screwed up
I have a chex system report on my companies
for NSF Abuse

I have a long history of screwing up lives
my favorite cat died
I let him
Ex Girlfriends have been institutionalized
Or changed their names
or moved to Canada
One of them even developed Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
She called me up to tell me she still loves me
Maybe also to ask for the negatives
from the last time I spanked her
as a weak dom
that made her feel dirty when she played
"Those picturs are pretty hardcore"
Yeah. Fuck you. I'm married. You're not getting them

I am useless
I will pretend to go to work now
and likely get nothing done whatsoever
or I might just sit here on my fat white ass
write some execrable doggerel and pass
it to the 4,000 or so people that come here
who also should probably be working
I write so poorly
everyone who reads me is always lurking

But
At precisely 12:00 today
I will buy a skateboard
An "Envy"
I will name her "Pandora"

And then I will spend a weekend with a submissive
Perhaps you've seen me on Television?
The subject a commercial when I was 12 .. 50 or 70 years past
"Don't do this kids! Wear a helmet and Pads.."
The NO symbol drawn over my face

Yes. We're going to have unprotected sex, she and I
My favorite kind
Sixty miles an hour
five centimeters off the ground
I might even drag my hand

Yeah and going that fast I could bongo
I won't

But if I make it
And somehow
I'm back to normal
Which might just happen if I sk8
I might just end up
Semi-useful
Semi-caring
Semi-faithful
Semi-intelligent
Who knows
Who cares
Think I'll flood my voicemail
stop taking calls
and join a monastery

Harder Better Faster Stronger - Daft Punk

Resolution

Dick Cheney freed from his concrete bunker corner office has of late been on a speaking tour where in low hushed tones he will tell you how the 100 days of change.. is all a part of a 15 year plan to end American Free Enterprise. How does a Junior Senator from Illinois get elected President? There must be WMDs somewhere.. we should lauch pre-emptive self defence.. their evil plan becomes more transparent each day... they're after you.. don't let the smoking gun be the mushroom cloud .. you get it. Like setting energy policy by Enron, contracting Haliburton, and cooking up fake excuses to push American into a 200 billion dollar war - its part of his plan to 'help' the GOP. Nothing wrong with conservatism, but Bush Republicanism is exacerbating a serious wound that needs to heal.

As Cafferty pointed out this week, Cheney and Bush are really just deserving to be punished for an amazing list of openly questionable and treasonable actions during their tenure. Their paranoia is a direct reaction to an awakening public .. People get prosecuted for this kind of thing. I mean, if the president can get impeached for a blowjob.... ?

Although Cafferty suggests lining some lawyers pockets by prosecution of the Crimes of the Administration. I have a different proposal. First, we need to start fixing things that are broken. For starters, Newt's idea is a good one - we should have the networks reserve 30 minutes to an hour, per candidate during election season - to allow the candidate to have a sitdown with the American people and go into detail about what they would do for our country if elected. Now, we need to train the networks to do this. So, to prime them for that, we should have Bush and Cheney publicly flogged during primetime in a similiar reserved slot. It will help them learn how to schedule it.

The script is simple. Have Cheney and Bush greet the American people. Smile. Then. Bend over. And then in walks a decent, semi-asian looking woman dressed up appropriately - to administer as many lashes as they screwed up. I count about 39, but your mileage may vary. Each screw up is announced carefully to the American public. Then. The lash. We can get a camera close up as the screw up is being read.. cafferty did a good enough job of listing them.. and you know, their facial expression. Then POW. And their eyes go open wide . Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

And by way of historical interest, please remember that Moveon.org was founded by a bunch of people (of which, yes, I am an early member) who wanted to force Bill Clinton to publicly apologize instead of going through an expensive impeachment. We wanted to "moveon" from the dog and pony show. Yes. There were some people in moveon who wanted a public flogging. A "friend" of mine. In fact.

Please understand that Resolution is necessary and welcome. America is now a show for Mature Audiences. We can't just keep using the same techniques we used when America wasn't all grown up.

With the right participants, and if at least one of them wears the right clothing, I'm sure the American people will all be able to find a very receptive frame of mind. And just let those Islamic Extremists just +try+ to air it on Al "no-drivers-license-for-women" Jazeera.

What do you think?

Fire and Rain - James Taylor

This is abouta phone.

(by my Son)*

First a phone can help call
other people . A phone can also connect.
Next you can order things with it.
You can order pizza with it .
Last, you can have it for a buisness.
You can need it for alot buisnesses.
That told you about a phone.

* ~age 7

The Battle

(by my Daughter *, based on work of Erin Hunter)

A half moon glowed,
On smooth granite boulders,
Turning them silver.
The silence was broken,
Only by the ripple of water;
The whisper of trees,
In the forest beyond.
In the shadows,
There was a stirring.
From all around,
Crept dark, stealthy shapes.
Unsheathed claws glinted;
Wary eyes flashed.
Then,
As if on a silent signal,
The rocks were alive,
With wrestling, screeching cats.

* ~age 10

Do you get it?

(Still) Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - Negativland

SSFW Guide to Kink Theatre

Yes its with the "e" at the end, because this is a sophisticated blog. * holds out his right pinky as he sips tea - slightly raised eyebrow*. Welcome, Colorless Reader..

Today, colorlessness brings you , in technicolor - Slack! But no ordinary dose of slack. Today, I give you.... sound of drum roll...... The Slightly Safe for Work Guide to Kink Film. Selected today because..

1. I am a horny bastard (see... 'Tokyo Nights')
2. Its all part of a Mad Science Experiment
3. Looking deeply into space, we have found .. Betty Page

I will let you decide , as you will. You are here. And I am here...And that makes two of us. (Ok, ok, slightly more than two. I'm banking that my google advertisers are still working through the 1, 2, many.. counting system). So, without delay Feel free to run your hands all over my 11 inches long by 8 1/2 inches wide .. printed out list of movies that explore connectivity between human beings. You know. The kind that doesn't.. require ... cable.. ....

Atame! - (Tie me up/Tie me down)
The Addams Family+++
The Avengers =
Barbarella
Bitter Moon
Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice
Body of Evidence ++
Bound
The Cook the Thief the Wife and Her Lover
Emanuelle
Friday Foster
From Dusk till Dawn
The Hunger
Jaded
Jism ++
Last Tango in Paris
Like Water for Chocolate
Night Dreams
# The Notorious Betty Page
9 1/2 Weeks
Out of Sight &
Original Sin ^^
The Piano
The Pool
The Postman Always Rings Twice
Secretary
& Sex Lies and VideoTape&
The Thomas Crown Affair
Tokyo Nights *
Venus
Who Framed Roger Rabbit ^
Wild Things

* kinkiest
+ kinky bollywood film (!)
++ madonna does wax play
+++ a series that proves a strong marriage is the basis of great kink
you know what happens when you speak french, my darling....!
= emma peel. no other reason. original TV series best.
^ just because jessica rabbit turned me on.
(but not enough to watch the cheap rip-off 'cool world')
^^ supposedly antonio banderas and angelina jolie ... did it for real?
& directed by Steven Sodebergh
# directed by Andrew Blake, slightly NSFW .. but a cool film


Does anyone know if there's a film out there that incorporates strong erotica, a really good plot , and a great script ? I would think someone out there made a film that can handle kink within a story line.. I have yet to find a film that weaves really hot - adult rated sex within a really watchable film. Apart from James Bond films... Dr. No would be the ideal there. If Honey could just have ... well.. never mind. So. No, I haven't been able to find any (I don't have alot of adult films anway). Any out there?

Amazon / Run

Gonna take a walk
with the sister of the moon
and the pale light in
to fill up your room

you've been living underground
eating from a can

you've been running away
from what you don't understand

she's fair
sliding down
she beat me
into the ground

its alright
she moves
in mysterious ways

Gonna take a dive
with your sister in the rain
when I talk about the things
you can't explain
to touch is to heal
to hurt is to steal
if you wanna kiss the sky
better learn how to kneel
on your knees gurl

she's the way
she turned the tide
and the worst is
she knows why

One day you will look back
And you'll see
Where you were held
How? By this love
While you could stand there
You could move on this moment
Follow this feeling

It will Make you run like an amazon


U2 / Mysterious Ways.

The Only Living Boy in New York - Garden State / Simon and Garfunkel [AMV]

Year of the Horse

People born in the Year of the Horse are popular. They are cheerful, skillful with money, and perceptive, although they sometimes talk too much. The are wise, talented, good with their hands, and sometimes have a weakness for members of the opposite sex. They are impatient and hot-blooded about everything except their daily work. They like entertainment and large crowds. They are very independent and rarely listen to advice. They are most compatible with Tigers, Dogs, and Sheep. :-/


Fire/aquarian

Fundamentalist Debunks The Bible

From the CNN Article - "Former Fundamentalist Debunks The Bible" about a biblical scholar named Bart Ehrman. Bullet points.

19 of the 27 books of the New Testament are forgeries. And there are contradictions in the New Testament..

• In the first book of Corinthians, Ehrman says, the Apostle Paul insists that women should remain silent in church (1 Corinthians 14:35-36). Sorry gals..
• In the 16th chapter of the book of Romans, Paul's writes that women could and should be church leaders and they were serving as deacons and apostles in the early church.
• The resurrection stories contradict each other.
• Whether or not Christ was the Son of God, is not based on anything Christ or his Apostles actually said. .. ?
• Heaven, and Hell, are also not based on anything Christ or his Apostles actually said. This is a bit easier to track down.

And all. Much more than this... ?
I got it on ... Ebay.. there's no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole. :-)

Renaissance Faire 2009

Ye Olde Rainaissance Faire deliveres thee goods. We had a blast. Got most of what I wanted to get done over the weekend, so instead of buying that longboard I wanted, I took the kids out for a good time.

• Someone dropped their VISA Platinum Card - If I chose to commit fraud I could have gotten away with it - I enjoyed not doing it. I finally gave it to a cop. It was like having the devil in my pocket, trying to jump out. A fun situation if you're at a Renaissance Fair
• The Beef Jerky Vendor, selling long sticks of beef was pretty funny .. "Get my meat and put it in your Mouth!" he would shoult. "Thirteen inches!" - Alot of moments like that in places like these. Enjoyed it.
• Kids were kind of off the wall at first, then they calmed down and got into it. Always have to break that commercialism. My youngest acted out for a while but he really liked watching the guy do tricks with the whip, and it was good for a little boy to get a chance to shout back to the guy on stage.
• I ate a fried pickle. The fun part was, it was so cold after it rained (real scottish weather ! ) that if I took a bite of it (it was basically, pickle spears sliced like french fries ) ... I discovered (much to my kids amusement) that I could blow steam out of my mouth like a great dragon.
• If the leather fits, wear it.
• Accents that are maintained through force of will tend to make people do funny things to round out a sentence whose prosody is slightly off. I really enjoyed the rain because as a result, there were not many people and the re-enactors were very free to talk with you one to one.

My son made a wax hand (putting his hand directly into a big vat of melted wax). The lady who colored his wax, while she was helping him , had one of her coworkers pour wax on the nape of her neck. My son picked some pretty strange colors, green, pink and red but the wax mistress really made it work, and it was obvious she enjoyed her work. I tipped her. The strange, red, green with a pink band across - and green glittery hand sits on the head of his bed, and he is fast asleep. My daughter is wearing the dragon pendant to sleep. I wore the kids out today.

Just FYI I tend to hide messages in and around my blog. 'Easter Eggs'. They're not in every post. For example, the one today is that there is a finite chance I go to the Carribean soon..

What I'm going to do today.

I had a blower motor burn out on me a few weeks ago. I'm going to take apart my AC and see if I can fix the motor. Outside, the external unit is going when you cut on the AC but inside the fan just slows down and eventually dies so its pretty obvious its the motor thats the issue. There's this thing that looks like a battery pack on the side, that has two same-color wires leading into it. I learned thats the capacitor. I am not sure exactly how it works with the fan, but I replaced that, hoping it would help - it didn't. This repair is going to take guts. I will likely spin the motor unit off with allen wrenches then just stare at it until I figure out what to do. Hopefully I will be able to find pretty standardized parts. One thing that really kills projects like this , is when you run into proprietary parts. Thats why I am going to buy a Tesla and not a Ferrari. Almost everything on the Ferrari is made in Italy and tricky to get replaced - cars like that can be a real bitch. One time on my 750 I stopped off at this precision lube place and they topped off my brake fluid. Little did I know that the brake system for a 750 uses a hydraulic system almost identical to large tractor trailer rigs - this really high powered hydraulic setup meant to stop the car at high speed . It used a type of fluid called CHF 7.1, and not the regular pink stuff. They even made it light green so you could see the difference. Every single seal in the car's hydraulic system rotted out. Fuck.

So anyway, I'm pretty sure I can pull this off.

Another thing I would like to do before I go to a party at 12 is that I would like to make sure my cat's leg is ok, and remove the reason why it got hurt. We have a stray that orbits my home - a big tom with a notched ear we call meatball. I want to try to figure out a way that I can catch him and then maybe drive him off to someplace like the woods behind AD's (cute of me, huh..) house and let him go. He slashed my cat's leg so bad it almost needed stitches, well - actually it +did+ need stitches but I just took a pair of cuticle scissors, wrapped the cat up in a towel and cut open what little of the abscess I could find. Normally with a deep cut I would have packed first neosporin and then cayenne pepper, later re-packing with only cayenne. But in this case I was mystified as to what I really needed to do - the cat's foot had swollen - to a gross monstrosity of a foot, almost double its normal size. I took a needle and jabbed around in the fur, trying to find the location of any other abscess - the first one that I drained after cutting his skin open - didn't drain enough. The blood was red, however, so oxygen was getting to it. I figured best thing to do was cut that out after about three or four fast strikes to his foot - this was no time for amateur vetrinary technique. Still no real way to find out why the foot was so huge. Looking at him, I decided to do one last thing. I shaved the area around the cut. Now this seemed to bother him worse than the attempt to drain the abscess - don't ask me why. But I shaved up far enough along his leg to be able to see another abraded area - still nothing pronounced enough to be an abscess (my one trick pony solution, being to drain them). At this point, however, the cat finally broke free and ran away and I decided I was out of my league. Somehow, the next day, the swelling had gone down and the healing had begun. Shaving seems to help them get their tongue on it.

At any rate, I'll cage the tom somehow.

The real thing I am looking forward to, is to find some moment today to get some real work done. For some reason wednesday to friday I ended up with my productivity dropping to almost zero. I hate that. So setting aside some time to really focus and get all the loose ends tied up. Saturday is a great day to put in a really fierce half-day.

When I get my own office building I want to be there every saturday morning early and be the only one in the office so I can longboard the place and get stuff done with no one around to distract me.

Speaking of which, the repair to the effing AC was supposed to be 500.00 bucks but with this 80.00 part I got off craigslist and a little gutsiness I'm going to get the thing repaired + then if I do, I am getting the longboard. I want something with good, fast bearings and hopefully 60 to 80 durometer wheels for street riding. Nervous about those things, don't know how they handle speedwobble. I have some serious hills where I live. But I think its time to get back on this horse and ride it. So, in my little world of ethics saving about 900.00 bucks on vet bills and AC repairs qualifies me to drop 100.00 bucks on myself.

He who laughs last, laughs loudest.

In Your Eyes - Fifth Element [AMV]

Toilet Cleaning Instructions

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet --the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'power-wash and rinse.'

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can and quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean
for Masokat, and yes, its a plan....

.... And this Chair.... (Part II)

Being I am now an adult, and I have successfully travelled through the breeding cycle and produced a beautiful girl and a boy (that is starting out way earlier than me, he's got three girls in his second grade class who have said they're going to marry him?! and one that calls him every day ? wtf!? ) ....

I'm spending suspiciously budding-author-like amounts of time writing and developing my prose... and when I am writing or coding or doing my research the world disappears. But to continue the thread, and for contrast - as a man, once child - here are the things I really want.

• A new computer. I have worn out two keyboards on this thing, replaced the graphics card and the disk is now failing slowly. I will probably get this thing. I will not get Vista. Windows 7 or die.
• A Red Epic (warcraft! epics, baby!) - An American made movie camera founded by my cousin's former employer , Jim Jannard. It shoots a better image than a 200 pound IMAX camera. This is the same camera that they used to shoot Lord of the Rings.
• A Tesla Motors four door sportscar. O-60 in 5.6 seconds. Yes, I'm on the waiting list. I'm driving a gay blue toyota corolla until then. Gay. Gay blue. Gay sky gay gay gay blue. Ok, it gets good gay blue gay sky blue gas mileage. But its the gayest gay blue you've ever seen in your life. What the hell. I'm probably heteroflexible anyway. I would have to be, in order to drive that gay sky gay blue car.
• A second wife. If you think that means assuming the position of the Nadu.. lets be clear.. you must be tall than this ... * lowers his hand to just below your standing height waist level * to ride this ride. Simply answer the following questions (no cheating!)..
  1. Why do people throw up, after they shoot up. (for extra credit, where can you shoot up so that people won't notice it?)
  2. The lyric "And I know I was wrong when I said it was true that It could have been me and her in between without you" by Robert Smith , of the Cure - was about
     1. Robert Smiths Longtime addiction to heroin
     2. A panegyric to his wife
     3. A code message meant for Siouxsie + the Banshees..
     - Discuss your answer..
  3. If you were given a choice between the two vacation destinations "Grandmas Glass Pony Shop" in Ouray Ice Park, Colorado , and an all expenses paid trip to a Honeymoon Suite in Rome, overlooking the Vatican, which would you carry six lengths of strong, soft mountain climber's rope? How about a strong , soft mountain climber?
  4. Essay Competition, Based on the following ingredients:
     
     • 1 1/2 lbs chopped dates
     • 3 tbsp maple syrup
     • 1 tsp vanilla
     • 2 tsp fresh orange zest
     • 1/4 tsp orange extract
     • 1/4 tsp allspice
     • 1/8 tsp cardamom
     • 1/2 c currants or other dried fruit of your choice
     • 1/2 c chopped pecans , walnuts or almonds (your choice)
     • 1/2 c of your favorite cereal
       1. chop dates and combine them with syrup, vanilla, orange, salt, and spices.
       2. stirr in the currants, nuts and granola until you have a firm consistency
       3. on a lightly oiled baking sheet, roll out the mixture to a uniform thickness of about 1.2 inch
       4. chill in freezer for about 15 min. then cut into bars
       
       
       Now, with this in mind. Take this item you have made, and write a short, one page fairy tale in which a prince rescues a priness from distress, and they both live happily ever after - where this item assumes a name that ends in "y" and plays the starring role (ex. skippy saves the day, howdy for the win,... ). Extra credit if you can write the wrapper you would use to put the protein-rich calorie grenade you've just made -into a role as lovable sidekick.
       
       Good luck ladies, and passable men! I mean. Ladies. Yes, the tricky part is submitting. But isn't it always the case? unless your name is Amber Dalton
       
       
• A swiss bank account. Oh wait. Maybe I already have one. Ok then I want another one.
• Cold hard cash. High denominations, preferably in krugerrand. I promise I will spend it wisely.
• Finally I want a weary grayish man costume that I can wear to work every day. So I can go into the office every day and say... " Boys I said how beautiful .. she glitters like a star." to my secretary.. and they will only see a faceless drone draped in black and gray. If it has some fog effects that would help as well..

Oh. And this Chair. And thats all I need. The Camera. The Car. The second wife. A weary grayish man costume. The swiss bank account. ... .... And this longboard.

And thats all I need...

.... And thats All I Need ... ( Part I )

Ok, backing up a bit - I was the kind of student that twice tested out of grade levels and twice screwed it up. So I decided to trace my attack on failure back to the first and second time in my life I truly failed.

You might think that , academically making the cut to knock two entire grade levels off your resume at the age of eight or ten or whatever - is a measure of success. Its not. Florida's school system was pretty advanced, when I was going up through grade school. But it the decision to send you in for the test was left to the teachers. Unlike, of all things, the small town in Georgia where I spent fourth grade, my third grade didn't have an accelerated program. The best way to deal with testing out of a grade is to get a kid into an accelerated program and then if they sky that, test them. Also, in all fairness, the second time I tested out was sort of a mulligan that my mom had set up with the school - she had no idea that what she thought was the advanced program was in fact really just an experimental program run by a couple of hippies. Also, bear in mind that in third grade I had the biggest crush ever on my Teacher.

Alright. So. The way this works is pretty simple. I'm going to head back to that time , and then pick off the things I really wanted. The things I visualized myself getting when I was older, and the things that I admired.

In third grade my number one thing that I wanted in the world, was a Leica 35mm camera, made by Leitz. I had pictures of the camera in my room. I can remember even today the precision of the German optics - the purple tint on the lens - the dark arizona sky black body. The red circle logo. This is where the love affair with the 35mm began. Later, in sixth grade, I will scrap up enough money to buy a nikkormat with a standard 50 lens and spend all my lunch money on asa 1000 film. After that, I wanted (and got) a Fox skateboard. I used to go to the school after it was out and surf the halls. Apart from the odd GI Joe, that pretty much summed up what I wanted then.

What I pictured myself getting, was pretty simple. I pictured myself getting a red sportscar. I had a waking vision one day , skateboarding near the lunchroom - of me pulling up in a red sportscar - something that looked like a cross between a 'Vette and a Ferrari. I was wearing mirrored shades, wore a mustache.

I can't remember admiring much, other than my BBW third grade teacher. She didn't sweat.. she +glowed+. In third grade, I went home with a key around my neck and took care of myself until my mom got home. And I played out in the dusky sand behind my home - swam in the pool, and built Ranger Rick Club treeforts and even a complete underground bunker system replete with a lookout periscope.

And tried like hell to avoid getting beaten up by a 15 year old bully that had been sexually abused by his father and had an annoying tendency to kick people in the ribs and pull them around by their hair. One fine day he and his friend found our underground bunker and kicked the roof in and smashed the periscope.

My best friend's mother committed suicide by an overdose of sleeping pills, getting her - and her bigger sister in bed with her and saying goodbye to the world with her two girls under her arms. When my best friend (yes you can have a girl for a best friend) woke up that next the morning she touched the cold dead form of her mother. She never talked about it much. And that was ok with me. Her bigger sister used to help me in school. The best grade you could get was an "O" which meant outstanding. I admired her for being a together kind of girl and I was friends with anyone who would help us hide from Peter the bully and knew the secret wisdom of Ranger Rick. It sort of made up for having an orthodox Jewish Den Mother whose Idea of camping out was to go to the lunchroom cafeteria and make macaroni smiley faces with glue and paper plates.

Stick it to THE MAN

In the fourth Grade, I was pulled out of Florida and sailed into a small town in Georgia. And for some reason the black coffee of my life was a girl named Nylce who went to SWITCH with me. Although I still had a thing, for cameras - I gave it a rest and took up baseball and playing electric Bass. My stepfather was a Latin American drummer in a Uruguayan rock-jazz fusion band. My Mom met him in Florida , in the same club where she had hung out with Ted Kennedy. We found ourselves in this town after their first album had been cut in a recording studio up on in the hills over Malibu. Apparently it wasn't selling as many copies as they'd hoped, and so he'd gotten a job as a piano tuner.

At or about this time I wanted a Marshall Amp. But mine was good enough (I played a Fender). I think I played Bass for about 2 months, though. I gave a couple of 'concerts'. Basically playing one tune. "Hey Jude". Then I sort of dropped it. I turned my attention to the Clarinet. Benny Goodman FTW.

The skateboard that I'd brought up from Florida worked well enough in the halls of school but there weren't as many walkways . In Georgia, the roads were not as smooth and I didn't get the chance to spend as much time on the skate as I'd wanted to.

What I wanted, then, was more or less the same each day. I wanted a slush puppie. I would walk to the corner with my friends and get one after school, and some potato logs - sort of like big thick french fries - and we'd amp out on the glowing color of a slush puppie and these potato logs from Mercer's fried chicken.

Before God told my uncle to become a Priest, he was an investment broker and real estate guy in the small town we lived. A couple of times I babysat my cousin, and we'd run around the house jumping on the beds. Don't tell him this but one night we even took all our clothes off and ran around nude playing caveman and 'doin the funky chicken' lol. I don't think I would've been paid a keeping-the-order bonus that night if they walked in. Beds make great trampolines. Anyway. As a 10 year old babysitter, I was pretty responsible apart from the (promise) occasional.. isolated incident. I kept them clean and fed and tucked them into bed at their bedtime. When the kids finally fell asleep I'd invariably head over my uncle's bedroom and rifle through the predictable places that adults hide their porno. Scored a direct hit one night with a search between the boxspring and the mattress , "Oui" .. ah.. 70's porno... ++ Jyesss!!! +++ Of course, at 10 the hardware doesn't really work but hey. There's something about a magazine that says "Yes". When they returned from dinner or whatever - I'd tell them how great everything went and my Mom would drive me home and I would get 2.00 cold hard cash. Which I would use to buy Slush Puppies.

Things took a decidedly nonmaterialistic turn , in the 'things' I wanted. For the days that I spent at my Grandmas, in town (she worked as a secretary for City hall) .. I would invariably be found in the library, reading everything I could about the occult. And putting whatever I learned into practice. Numerology. Wicca. White Magik. The Necronomicon. Astrology. Somewhere in those books I knew there was a way to cast magic in the world. I was convinced I could find it. I felt like Indiana Jones in the temple of the public Library. I pretty much forgot about the red sportscar and the leica (which is to say, like Amber Dalton, they still existed in my subconscious mind - always there - maybe making a longdistance phone call when I wasn't looking..) . I rode the skateboard to the library to the far back left end of the shelves and read my way through the books - checking them out and bringing them home and working out the numerological puzzles they had within. I learned that Males had been the first witches and that the rituals of Wicca were centered around the natural world.

I used to sketch pictures of Magic Mushrooms and Cheech Wizard and Flowers. When I wasn't studying the occult ( as I recall neither my mom nor my grandma ever figured out what I was up to ) I was dreaming about LSD. I would draw the the letters in groovy lettering next to a picture of a magic mushroom sort of like the film .. "Wizards".. bear in mind this wasn't about dropping acid .. it was about how cool the pictures looked.

At some point I turned my attention to a nearly full time obsession with Nylce, the latin American girl in my school who would always be skying out the exams with me. I would truck the three miles or so to her place and just sort of watch her door and never get up the nerve to go knock on it. I sent her a love letter that didn't go over very well .. it was kind of ... detailed. Shall we say.

In the last half of the third quarter of my fourth grade year, one day I had to go to the bathroom. The teacher told me to finish my work. I explained that I really had to go. She said, go sit down and finish your work , and you can go afterward.

I sat in my desk with my hands on my desk, in perfect position. My fingers in a five point star. The pain was unbearable. I locked my legs.

After seven minutes passed, I could no longer look at the work that I had already finished and was supposed to be pretending to be doing. I was pulling my breath in, and locking my knees together in a way that my right leg could lock up against the wood of my desk. Nothing seemed to make the pain go away. But my teacher had told me to stay there. And so I did.

After about 10 minutes, I began to hyperventilate. I kept very quiet so no one could hear me except the girl who sat in front of me, and she was wondering what was going on .. the expression on my face must have said something to her that I couldn't. She slowly turned back around.

At or around 12 minutes I urinated on myself. I remember looking down at the floor and seeing a pool of urine forming below my desk. Someone from behind my desk noticed and told the teacher. I was completely humiliated. I didn't cry. It took every ounce of my dignity to sit there. Palms on my desk. The class was led out and I was allowed to leave school. My mom made me feel better when she took me home. She told me that the same thing had happened to her in school - and so she said she just switched seats with the girl next to her! The part of this story that I am really embarassed to relate is that I laughed once and my mom gave me a hug and made me feel better. Fuck you for reading that.

The next day in school I walked up to the playground from the west side. I waited and watched... and decided my best option was to go up to the biggest guy in school. Someone that most kids didn't really like... He started talking about how I peed my pants the other day so I hauled off and beat him like a red headed stepchild. His name was Keith. I was on him, throwing him to the ground. pounding both of my fists into his face. Kicking him. He was so big, it almost didn't hurt him.

The alpha male of our class, a kid named Russ, pulled us apart and said, its ok. They bought into the story that it was an allergic reaction to penicillin and Russ told everyone to lay off me. In the small town where I lived, that was the end of it. I never forgot. But for them, that was the end of it.

Little things marked my work. When all the other kids were handing in their math, and writing "not enough information" I would write 'insufficient data'. Whenever a writing assignment was given out I'd work my way through the assignment to deal with the question of why they were asking that particular question. Every chance I got, I was looking for the patterns and symbols I had been reading about - the magic I knew was in the world. I led my SWITCH team to victory in the state academic competitions, carrying us all the way to the final round. They led us into a room with a single light switch, and asked us questions - whoever reached up and hit the switch first, won. I became really good at finding solvable questions or answers that I knew I, or Nylce, or Russ could handle. For some reason I was also able to field the questions that were really trivia, the ones that dealt with film and the arts.

In the final round , The question that went out in the Arts category was .."This film based on play by Tennessee Williams, starring Elizabeth Taylor .. explored the relationship between dependency, addiction and the tension and dynamic of the human relationship... " and I hit the switch before the question was out - and shouted "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof!". Our team started hitting the light before the questions were done. We got the drop on those bastards.

At the end of that year, my mom decided to move back to Florida. As I walked out of the class, to get in the car and head south - My teacher told the class that I was the smartest child they would ever see. Some of them snickered, but she asked the class to cheer me as I got up and left and they did. I left the fourth grade with applause.

The only thing I wanted, I didn't get. Nylce. Given a free pass for the fifth grade from a bunch of tests and because my mom, at that point - had become something of a hippie - I spent the entire fifth grade reading National Geographics and they gave me an A. It was my way of trying to become a priest. I fell in love with a girl named Kaia in the last part of the fifth grade. And returned to my dreams of the Leica. Finally getting a Nikkormat 35mm, which I carried with me everywhere.

In the last part of that year, I could think of nothing else other than a Surfboard - I had seen in the Fox Surf Shop. White on the top. Blue on the bottom, with a cool graphic that looked as if it had been drawn by the same guy who did Cheech Wizard. My mother , who had lost her mind - at that point - trying to save a rapidly deteriorating relationship with my stepfather, and also owing partly to the fact that she'd almost burned down our home with a candle that she left burning - felt that it was time to sell her jewelry. We went to Palm Beach, and traded her gold in for 500.00 and she bought my brother a brand new Yamaha Dirt Bike, and me - the surfboard. I never really wanted it, because of that. But I paddled out for the first time, caught a wave and went over the falls.

Never being really comfortable with the board, I let my mom sell it back . Later on that summer I set my sights on a red Barry Kanapuani (BK) Sunset diamond gun which was perfect for riding the larger waves of the Caribbean.

Kittens!!

At 12:30 pm, 5/14/09 my Cat "Lilo" just gave birth to a healthy litter of kittens. Her brother "Stitch" was out with a severely infected foot, his back foot blew up like a balloon. Likely, the attempted shave of Stitch's leg and lancing of the super-hyper enlarged area (I swear his foot looks like a balloon) - or should I say attemped lancing (I got the scissors , and cut in, drained a little- but not the abscess - his foot is misshappen, swollen and critical) ... probably triggered her labor. Stitch was yowling in pain. At least, I'm thinking that happened. Can screams of pain trigger the birth process? Do pregnant mothers give birth if they are in stressful situations?

I was just about to lie down on my very big and very empty bed, an english four-post .. when I heard this mewing + I looked around. Ok. The cat wants to come in.. dragged myself to the door. No cat. Hmmm.. Checked the backdooor. No cat.

So I laid back down and there it was again. The faintest mewing.. I thought.. NO... I started looking around.. finally I found her underneath a solid oak chest of drawers I had , in the den adjacent to my bedroom. This was a place that Lilo and Stitch had run to, when they were kittens. A gray and white one. Others. I breathed a sigh of relief that the offspring were not likely from incest or the bad grey cat (Lilo is all grey, so grey X grey would have been grey kittens altogether) .. but rather, a beautiful white and grey spotted male that was around when she was in heat. I found a bit of afterbirth on the ground, picked it up. Then Lilo and I looked at each other. And her eyes were open wide. I kind of dropped down to the floor and just sort of closed my eyes, and then she closed her eyes in kind and I reached in under the chest of drawers and petted her, and she started purring. I dragged the kids out of bed to see them. They saw them, and were happy. They are both sleeping in my bed while I am upstairs, and they'll get to see them in the morning.

Wicked Game

I don't understand quite how I blew this fuse but right now I'm a mass of worthlessness. I haven't gotten anything useful done all day except for some stupid financial stuff and a boring firewall problem. And um. Some mail stuff. But thats it.

I have a fucking 600,000.00$ project / a way to get even with the world.. sitting on my desk , all I have to do is file the effing report. Its all cash in the bank. Safe money, the Customers are secure. I would be made. What is wrong with me? Why can't I get this thing done. I do the craziest things to try not to work on it.

When I start the work I have flashbacks. Its almost as if its a game, my life is coalescing around something. My work, life, kink - whatever - you name it all coming to a single statement. Something that makes it all worthwhile. And I'm terrified of it.

Its a game. I know that. But its a game I don't know if I can play. I am fighting serious urges to liquidate my account, drop all my real estate into a power of attorney and just get on a plane. This is like, an everyday battle .. maybe I'm winning..

Ipod's kinda helping out a bit here..

doin' it and doin' it and doin' it well
(female voice)
Mmm... daddy slow down your flow
Put it on me like G baby nice and slow
I need a rough neck nigga Mandingo in a sec
Who ain't afraid to pull my hair and spank me from the back
(male voice)
No doubt, I'm the playa that you're talkin about

Whisper words of wisdom. Let it be.

Mexico - Incubus

Crush

How about I write a love letter
and fill it with explicit instructions
to tell you precisely what to do, to respond?

But thats not the way things worked out
I worshipped the ground you walked upon
maybe puppy love I was 8 years old
was it six miles or three, to your door
I always turned around and walked home

If the Teacher handed out an "A" it was mine or yours
like Karl Friedrich Gauss on a holiday , whatever number I wanted
Yeah, I'm going to be a poet
so fuck testing out of the second grade
I make the numbers do what I want
I wanted to make you do what I want
but you had other plans

I still remember how your teeth showed when you laughed
I remember how in Little League I went back for a catch
beware the hun in the sun
said the message from the stars

We laughed at the dumb coach who asked
Maybe we should we put on a cast
Yeah the same coach who spent all his time yelling at his son
who always seemed to be the one to played third base


So I quit little league and spent my time
playing "Hey Jude" on the bass
my Marshall amp
on the table
Peanuts bedcovers
and Charlie Brown standing on the pitchers mound
snoopy grabbing Linus' blanket in his mouth
Lucy holding the football and smiling

8 years old is far too young
to feel through someones skin
to see the world through their eyes
it wasn't too young to be your friend
but thats not what you were to me

I suppose
With a thrill in my head
and a pill on my tongue

I would have knocked your door
And if I had written the note in a simple way
Expressing only love
I suppose you would have got it
you would have known
you were the light of my life

Yes
writing this out
made me feel a little more brave
a little less afraid
Yeah, I chose the right girl
Somehow, that has always been one of my talents
It might surprise you how some girls turn me on
some don't
how my life is built around
psychological diversion
Someone I could love
without condition
A crush

I wasn't really that hurt when you threw the note back at me
it was a small town
I knew I'd pay the price one way or another
No
Mostly I was afraid I picked the wrong girl
but now
even today I can still feel your brand
of pain
Dark skin
but how do you get blonde hair?
how is it that you had blue eyes?
those details always kind of made me wonder
How do Brazilians , in one generation alone..
become blonde?
Il fait rien

My latin american
3rd grade
object of affection

for this I went to college.

Obama Administration's Healthcare Plan

Yesterday the administration that ran on a platform of universal healthcare announced that a group of insurance companies will cut healthcare costs 1.5 percent.

Does anyone else besides me feel.. underwhelmed?

Small businesses need decent healthcare packages, they're really unbelivably expensive to buy for the small group configurations - and god forbid if one of your members should not fit the actuarial profile. The whole concept of the extension of the Federal Employees Health Benefit plan was that these individuals can join a larger group and keep their premiums down.

• A weak, and unviable public option - in terms of cost to public.This is a hugely telling sign that the lobbyists have been at work. The majority of the problems our economy has faced have related to price fixing. They're at it again, this time rigging the price that would be offered - so that there is no real difference between what would be proposed and what you would buy on the street. Joe Six Pack is rich enough to pay for a trillion dollars in taxes but poor enough for the bank to take his home from him.
• No end to discrimination because of health conditions No mention of drug costs , continuing the bizarre policy direction set forth by the Bush Administration when they purposefully cut out the ability of the Federal Government to negotiate for bulk purchase of medication at lower than retail cost
• No end to linking insurance to jobs, so that the unemployed have to pay much more than the employed. Did anyone tell them that there are people who are laid off, that are trying to get coverage?
• No reduction in the now blatant cost shifting from insurers to patients - despite the "1.5%" reduction overall
• No end to health rationing by making healthcare unaffordable to most Americans
• No elimination of the 31% of every healthcare dollar spent on the administrators
• No possibility of saving that money for actual care through the current financial structures proposed - shifting costs, instead of saving costs.

Under the proposed new plan which was created "with the involvement of industry" , there will be no link from Government healthcare to the GAO, FDA or EPA - a link that if the Government were to be offering a healthcare plan -would provide invaluable food, drug and environmental feedback and result in better regulations for everyone (as soon as an EPA policy , for example, lapses - and starts causing, lets say - increased respiratory claims in a certain zone, the EPA would tighten down air quality in that area - this is a realtime mechanism, not the static, layered process at present).

Obama promised on the campaign trail in 2007 , a sort of middle road approach.

The Obama plan does some other things to get people insurance. It allows adults up to age 25 to stay on their parents' insurance even if they aren't in school. And it attempts to lower the cost of insurance overall through a reinsurance plan, whereby the federal government would cover some expenses of some of the most costly patients.

.. Mr. Obama uses some of (approx. 110 billion proposed funding for medical care) to pay for the reinsurance plan -- an initiative that could cost tens of billions of dollars. That should help lower premiums across the board, but it means there would be less available for direct subsidies.

Mr. Obama promised in his bid for the presidency - that his Administration would implement a healthcare solution in the following way.

• Establishing a new public program that would look a lot like Medicare for those under age-65 that would be available to those who do not have access to an employer plan or qualify for existing government programs like Medicaid or SCHIP. This would also be open to small employers who do not offer a private plan.
• Creating a “National Health Insurance Exchange.” This would be a government-run marketing organization that would sell insurance plans directly to those who did not have an employer plan or public coverage.
• An employer “pay or play” provision that would require an employer to either provide health insurance or contribute toward the cost of a public plan.
• Mandating that families cover all children through either a private or public health insurance plan.
• Expanding eligibility for government programs, like Medicaid and SCHIP.
• Allow flexibility in embracing state health reform initiatives.

What is telling are the differences between the plan offered to, and debated for - the public during campaign - and the middle-road approach that has been proposed. I do not see how an industry promise to save 1.5 percent in costs will make any difference whatsoever to the ever growing number of laid off, and uninsured. I believe that Obama's drive to "lower costs" first before implementing universal healthcare is a lobbyist written, lobbyist driven attempt to continue the very broken status quo. I am not surprised it goes over a 10 year period to get results. The lobbyists just wanted to stop Universal Healthcare in its tracks. This plan, as announced, is not strong enough to make a serious impact on the real issues of a broken American healthcare system.

If you want to fix this situation, if you have a small business, or are facing layoff and want decent coverage if you lose your job - please click here to get involved. Also, you can call Sen. Baucus: 202 224-2651 (office), 202 224-9412 (fax) - and express your interest in adding single payer, public option to the plan. Bear in mind that this is the same Sen. Baucus who just had five protestors arrested on the hill for protesting the current form of the legislation.

The key to getting this done, is to get a strong public option - a strong single payer option - written into the legislation. Do that, and the rest will fall into place.

Evanescence - Serenity [AMV]

A poem

I don't understand you, Oppie
said Paul in Solvay,
Science tries to explain things we've never understood before
in ways that everyone can understand
And poetry tries to explain things everyone has understood
in ways that no one can understand..?

Ok. I can buy that. So. Lets see ...
First, a little bit about me.

I have a pretty multithreaded multitasking way of checking mail
I fire off a browser
and hit webmail as while I background the client
Free to send and receive

The disembodied voice
of Andrei Codrescu
keeping me company
as thousands of mail come in
reading and non-reading
words meant to convey
I will never open them.
my inbox
becomes
an exquisite corpse


Over here on my desk 2010 Calendar
of some money shots of great Pussy
by Rachael Hale
Aye, Soft and helpless. They are.
Their mother kept them alive
just long enough for their photo to be taken
I guess when they get older, and more fleabitten
I can put them in my attic occasionally to kill all the squirrels
Sometimes I wonder if we were born with our eyes closed
Would my mother have licked them open

Canto II: Changing a spare tire before school

How did this tire shred itself ?
and my kids homework is due
what a morning

Fortunately.. or unfortunately
A home that been foreclosed upon
had a spare tire left in their backyard
and about a month ago I declared eminent domain
I will be ok
On this for a while

And while all of this is going on
my hands black with brake dust
My son recites his homework
Holding up a poster - looking suspiciously like a venn diagram
A before and after, two circles - this weeks homework game
His year in school
soon coming to a close
and a teacher obviously looking for closure

He started it off by saying
Hi.
This is about me.

Good way to begin
I said.

And took the time to listen to him
stubborn lug nuts coming off in my hands while we talked
I noticed he stopped
when I spun the wrench
he's curious how it works.

I took the time to do it slowly
he will do it next time

Yeah
We'll be late to school today, if just -
And we will take
the same road , slow

The one that everyone understands
In a way that nobody really understands

I'm pretty sure he'll get an A.
But.
We shall see
.. said the blind man

Sheep - Pink Floyd

Happy Mother's Day :-)

Bearer of Light

Light unborn
hitchhiked the way across the usa
plucked his eyebrows on the way
shaved her legs and

she drinks good coffee
every morning
that comes from a place
far away
and if he lives
till she can longer
climb his stair

he'll never get born
without you

bearer of light
bring to the world
laughter still ringing
in my ears
yes two forms of being

destroying
the smell of wet dogs and rotten garbage
nature was the static
human was the noise

and fooled the almighty father
to give his only begotten stone

fed to him by taking a part of yourself alone
moved into the center of our orbit of our eyes
your beautiful form and curving weight and thigh
the soft touch and the gentle dark heart

And one by one the stars went out
then all of us
yet unborn
heard the cry

Let there be light

and there was

Baba O'Riley - The Blue Man Group

Fun things to do with a society

Every played 'civilization' or 'sim city'? I did. They fanged me when I was in college. I have somehow escaped 'spore' but I think thats largely due to the fact that there are so many issues with how 'spore' gets things off the ground. If you're going to go all the way with a sim, go all the way. I might play warcraft again in about 10 years or so when level 100 is the top level (you know it will be) and the sim lets the characters have sex with each other. FOR THE HORDE!!

Ok so. Screw those games. Lets do something with a real society. Lets start things off with a largely nomadic, cave man culture and brings it down into a low maintenance , high food yield agrarian based economy. Add some free time.

Ok.. so starting from cellular level (Amber Dalton you have atomically fucked me over, I will get even with you one day..) ... cripple off an X-chromosone, presto! little babies more prone to sickliness.

How to keep the smaller, weaker babies alive ? With Ms. Amazon standing there before you .. its pretty hard to rationalize a weak, sickly creature being left anywhere other than the foot of mount Tagytus. Hi hon.

I know. Lets start a cock worship cult. All opposed, please raise your cock.

And Venus of Willendorf becomes a pole minx! Yay. Ok so now we've got male priests, oracles whose left and right brain gets pretty well disconnected, and the type of prophecies are completely off the wall and worship is fun again. Especially the kind of worship Poleminx is into ...!

Ok, so boring. Culture and learning leaps forward. Tools are created. Guns. Germs and Steel. Instead of roaming all over the tundra, men are discovered out in the pasture with sheep. Instead of doing it with their hands, women are discovered at home being left to their devices.. and what wonderful devices they are.. Before you know it they're painting on the walls how wonderful it would be , to be as fast as a gazelle. As strong as a lion. When its your job to pleasure two women at once, you wish for things... blowing an image of your hand on the wall isn't just telling the world you want a handjob ... its an image of your hand clawing the wall as they pull you back into bed.

Control is a fun thing, but that society is still pinned down by territory, and climate and so on. The middle east rainfall pattern is changing. War is the best answer. And with it, the cult of the warrior messiah. Rome rapes and pillages the lands on their way down to Egypt. And then takes the spoils on their way back up. And so arises a figure whose very essence projects lurve. The warm, fuzzy kind of lurve and peace that radiates cold shafts of broken glass straight into his own hands and pinned up onto a symbol for all to see. That the pleasures of the world be denied - your kingdom isn't here.

The mask of Plotiny, the shift of art from an exploration of human forms and biology - to an afterlife - works well if you want to get some more abstract reasoning off the ground. And so for about three or four centuries, the undisputed cock of the walk is a guy who would fear to step on ants because they're gods creatures too.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Back and forth between the warrior ideal and the priest ideal for six or ten generations or so, until everyone is completely destabilized. Then you bring in mechanized warfare. And you wipe out nearly a third of every male child on the planet. Its always more fun than throwing them off Mount Tagytus. Never mind that the machine gun is really pretty awful at hitting single targets, doesn't require much hand eye coordination to dump 200 rounds into a crowd of nazis.

This is important because the ones you have to worry about, are the ones who can shoot the wings off a firefly at 200 yards. The ones that are stationed just over there, just out of sight of your window. But we'll get to that in a second..

So. What happens next? Killing off that many, really was kind of over the top. What can you do with a society, once you've sacrificed its male children - you don't want to go back to that venus of willendorf thing. Right? Better to cover your tracks. Give them a scientific theory that has absolutely nothing to do with their daily lives. But tells them about this wonderful world they could have, if only the science made it to application. E = mc squared. Go back in time. Aww... there's little billy still playing in the field. Its ok, mom. You don't have to cry now.

Just get back to work.

Because at this point, if you stopped working - the fields wouldn't produce your supper automatically. No. You would starve. At this point your society needs a 24 hour feed to keep going. Which brings us to current date.

Here are some fun things to do with a society

• First, make sure people only get married once. can't have too many kids around. Nevermind that Bible-thing is full of references to plural marriages, you want them to be manageable.
• Next, make sure they are in a constant state of fear. Homeland security level? Its never going to be green. Ever. You learned from the last wars, that constant war keeps them where you want them. This works esp. well with evangelicals so if there isn't a war around, make one up for them. Make them fight their fellow countrymen. Just give them some sort of flag to wave and greater cause to give their life for. So they don't think too much about where their life is right now
• Make sure people are isolated. Make it so that their children, and neighbors - can't go meet each other for coffee. No. Wait. Make it so they drive to some place to go have coffee. And if there's a website where they can meet each other for free, make sure it gets shut down. We want them to pay to meet each other.
• Keep them rich enough to be able to lose their home even if they're working 50 hours a week, but just poor enough to finance trillions of dollars of bailout cash.
• Set up a website that makes it so they don't think anymore. Anytime they want to remember something, make it so that all they have to do is remember just a few words of whatever it was, and then look over the thoughts of everyone else on the planet. This way, the kind of painful search for real knowledge can become a quest for buzzwords. Sort of like 'quest for fire' but with more dumb caveman around.
• Cheat at scrabble! If the only 45 point double word score on the board, is Apzteryzx ! Just invent one. Drop some Endocrine Inhibitors in the Water Supply, and in a few short breeding cycles a half male, half female Apzteryzx is walking the earth, breathing air through its new gills that function as lungs and oxygen rebreathers
• Consolidate the financial markets so that the players are bound by international law and practice to be effectively linked to one another.

Then crash the markets and watch them all scurry around all over everywhere. Don't crash them too hard , though - because depression will shock them back into reality again. Just have alot of fun, watching them wave their arms up in the air.

Wow. Look at that one over there.. Looks like we sent that one all the way back to Vermont from Washington DC... I know.. lets get him drunk and see what he does next. Here you go pal. This is for my thirsty friend...

Oh. One other thing. Give them little devices that make it so they don't talk to each other, even if they're standing right next to each other. Give them things to stick in their ear that let them talk to people 700 miles away. Hell lets make long distance free, so they can talk to people 12,000 miles away. Why not? Don't forget to seal off their ears, too.. so they can walk into traffic and not hear the sound of an oncoming truck.

... And then everyone gets hit by a Giant Peterbilt. The End.

Take A Chance on Me - ABBA

Kink

What's the definition of kink? I feel its the consensual exploration of brutality, and/or erotic sensation.

So. First, consensuality. Its the number one rule. Consensual play means the person knows what they're getting into, agrees, wants it, etc. It also means that if you have a wife, or a boyfriend, you tell him what you're doing. Adultery is non consensual sex play. The wife is being forced to endure the sexual fantasy of the husband - or vice versa - a living fantasy that involves, as part of the thrill - an element of risk that the affair will be discovered.

I define an affair as any ongoing relationship, that involves two people in an intimate and emotional bond. I do not, for example, see a man jumping in bed with a hooker in Las Vegas as effectively having an affair on his wife. The hooker will remind him that she's got to be paid. This kind of thing is essentially exploring your own personal fantasy life. Not unlike masturbation, any encounter which is simply for the purposes of fulfillment of physical need - does not qualify as an affair.

The exception would be anyone who continually seeks to pair with others instead of with their playmate (at least in the context of consensual monogamous relationships) for this kind of one-off satisfaction. In this case the repeated single instances add up to what amounts to an ongoing situation where consent is stripped from the partner.

Violence and aggression are a part of kink. In many cases, people are exploring a form of their own sexuality when they repeatedly seek the punishment of others - sometimes without having any basis for that punishment. In the context of consent, this is fine. Although it is sadism, it is recognized for that element of sensation that - even if it means causing pain, is something exploratory in nature and not merely a form of control or abuse.

Anger can hurt. It has a cycle which can destroy people - trigger thoughts can fire off unwanted feelings that , if they are not appropriately dealt with - can cause people to lash out at others to drive the feelings away - not unlike a child running to his or her parent to make the hurt go away. And also , that form of loss when the child realizes that there is no one to kiss the hurt and make it better - the form of destruction of another person that feeds the feeling that you are right - at the cost of helping that person to grow. That form of anger is a destructive cycle that leads to huge health and emotional problems - and is not even remotely connected to kink.

However, it may surprise you that - there are some people who want to eat you up. They love you so. They feel through your skin. Your submission is a form of trigger thought to them that helps them to explore who they are. They take you to subspace. They bring you back. They deal in erotic pain. Not emotional, or aggresional pain - but rather a form of sensation and exploration.

To pursue someone, terrorize them, stalk them - without their consent - or to accuse someone of wrongdoing, when they are innocent, is a destructive, harmful act. It is a form of emotional parasitism. However, setting up a rape scene in advance - is a little bit like wearing special clothes during sex. Its a way two people can have fun. Games like this defuse the free radicals of a highly sexualized culture we are forced to endure in our cultural endogenesis.

In general, kink attracts two main types of people. Dominants and submissives. A dominant enjoys impression. A submissive enjoyes receipt of impression. In the world of kink.. there are the bunnies. And there are the carrots. Which one are you?

What I Need

What I Need
is to lose some weight
convert some fat to muscle
drop a few pounds

I need a good job
and a decent mate
someone who won't be abusive
someone I can be around

I need to cut the crap
get done what I've been putting off
move on from the past
believe in the power of love

I need to go downstairs
My kitten is mewling
that strange half muffled kind of sound
of pride and hunger through a chipmunk or squirrel

She wants me to pick it up
and pet her on the head
And say Thank You Kali
and stroke her fur, once
A little like good kink
not too much emotion
sort of not making love, just fucking

And then I will throw chipmunk or squirrel
she'll race across the floor
and eat it while its warm
and leave a part or two near the door

I need to remember to clean that up
freshkill on your doorway
is bad Feng Shui

I need to remember
the plans I made last september
the leaves and the wind and the winter
I need to remember wednesday
old friends and the day before school
the trip to India
Peace, love
and kink

A question - Robert Frost

A voice said, Look me in the stars
And tell me truly, men of earth,
If all the soul-and-body scars
Were not too much to pay for birth


LE TEMPS DETRUIT TOUT

Hannah Montana

The camera work in Hannah Montana: The Movie. Was great. We were taken to this pale, shallow world where you are a mask, a wig, a costume. And then we were taken into the real world - the quiet sounds and sights of a Tennessee meadow. The hands that work the fields. The sunrise and sunset over the bluegrass.

We also had this kind of zero gravity shot moving in over the stage - this little girl getting complete power over 120 people at a country concert, 2,000 people in an auditorium - the kind of thing that captures the heart-in-the-mouth excitement of performance.

The whole thing really worked well. People in the movie theatre stood up and applauded. They sang along. They cheered. The film did incredibly well at the box office. Success.

For me the best part about the film was that I got to learn a little bit about being a Dad to a prodigy. After seeing what happened to Charlotte Church, and Britney Spears ... whatever can be said about Billy Ray mostly working his career through his daughter - in the film - helping his daughter to manage being two people - and even his willingness to sacrifice his personal life (which in the film was largely symbolic, falling in love with a woman that can take apart a truck is something thats a little harder to reverse than it looks) - he did the right thing.

John Updike once wrote 'fame is an iron mask that when worn, grafts itself to your face and will not be removed except for taking a portion of the flesh with it'. Billy's work laid the foundation for Hanna, and her work one day will end. Maybe next year. The two will walk offstage intact, the Montana contracts will make them north of a billion dollars. From the way they did the film, which is really all I have seen of Hanna Montana - both of them will have a future career. I am told that by the time she turns 16, she'll have pulled in 1 Billion. Thats billion with a B. The most important part of that - is that they will walk away with it. Not implode. Shave their heads. End up in rehab.

Thats Miley Cyrus. Thats Billy Ray. As a parent, I liked that part of the film the most. Certain values and ways of doing things, still work best. I'm glad they decided to make that part of the movie.

Under The Influence - Chemical Brothers

The 24 Hour News Cycle

America has turned into a place where the talking heads are now. For lack of a better term. Dying out. With nothing really left to replace them.

The death scream of a talking head is usually a wild, off the cuff remark that if you first ignore it - because you realize +before they say it+ that they are now having to do some pretty ridiculous things to try to boost their ratings in a post-Bush Republican era ... and then later reflect upon it for a brief moment - the argument quickly falls apart on introspection.

Its important to initially ignore the talking head, because the only reason they're out there with this stuff right now is to get a visceral reaction from you - and also to get you to do three things.. a) say their name in public , ... b) say something about what +they+ are talking about, never mind if you were thinking about something else or had something better to say .... and c) succeed in changing a number that will arise from a random sampling of adults your age (usually you hear the stuff they want you to hear, because there are only 8 companies in America that control nearly 78% of everything you see, hear, and read in magazines).

Some example deathscream categories would be ... saying something outrageously treasonous ... another might be completely illogical. For years, during the Bush Republican era - the talking heads could get someone on their show , state a fact, then have two people come and argue about whether or not it was a fact. It was their way of a) ignoring facts, and b) boosting their ratings. Now, there are less people interested in spin - and they are getting their news and information more and more from blogs. The demographic 18-24 has delivered to them a full 26% drop in viewer and listenership, in just this past three years. And before that, it was almost the same. About one in every two listeners and viewers of the talking head shows are disappeared from their view.

Other things you can do, are to simply pull the plug. The cable TV bill you're paying is 60.00 bucks a month but the digital signal thats travelling through the air, free, to your TV has 3 rider stations on each channel, and about 5 channels you can pretty much guarantee will come in alright with at least another three or four channels that will come in if you feel like you want to play with the rabbit ears to get them in. Thats 20 stations. Good enough? The talking heads and their 24 hour news cycle exist almost exclusively in the realm of Cable TV.

Back when Captain Outrageous started the 24 hour news cycle, there happened to be a lot of news. CNN got its big start during the gulf war of the 90s. And guys like Atlanta resident Newt Gingrich, learned how to game the 24 hour cycle for political benefit - bringing a failed investigation of Bill Clinton and his whitewater scandal - into full rotation stories about blowjobs for the president. Newt. I love you but I'll take a guy with a strong sex drive over a drunk any day. Sorry. Thats 20th century strategy.

A better strategy involves the uncontrolled and intensely better patrolled and vetted space of blog based news sources and activism. If you post something on a blog, it had better be right or the readers will ferret it out and call bullshit on you. Blog articles, first and foremost have to be about facts and facts that can be hyperlinked to, no less. Crackpot theories end up getting comments with links that show where they came from and you're known by the company you keep (click on my ads! click on my links! click me! please! I deserve it. heh heh. ). But they're also about starting detailed discussions about the little details you might want to go through , to get things done. For example. Samantha Orobator. Why chat about "the concept of life" when you can read her case file and zone down onto the paranoid government officials, in the republic immediately adjacent to Burma -where she and her baby within are going to be killed in cold blood? It was a total of 24 hours, with no 24 hour Teri Schiavo news cycle - before Samantha was safe and her baby saved. London Calling. Rock on.

We blog for a reason. We all have reasons to be. Blogging is a real life activity even though it exists in a virtual world. Bloggers are real entities even though they might only be known by a handle. People who read them are very real. Submissive. Dominant. Smart. Dumb. ... Anonymous... and even some that are famous. Whatever reason, blogging is changing the world.

And twitter is just effing annoying.

Soul Sacrifice

Happy Cinco De Mayo

When Will Google Be Alive?

At what point will Google be alive?

The turing test is a good way to check if something has come in from the dark. Put Google behind a screen with a human being. Have a human being ask them both questions. If a human cannot distinguish between the two, purely on the basis of his or her own question and answer - then Google can be said to be alive.

One day Google will do this. It doesn't work like that now, because the main focus of its work is done in data reduction - the basic idea behind Google, right now - is that if something is referenced alot, it must be relevant. This has led to a few famous hacks of the engine including 'google bombing' political candidates by having other sites reference them, generating up alot of links - to a site of questionable intent.

Another reason this won't serve the engine well during its transition from something which makes us dumber to something that scares us - is that data is not always reduced when it is referenced. Many times the results that are returned from a search whose relevance depends on a few key phrases phonetically and grammatically matching those that are referenced by others will be skewed by language translation - or by the idea. Knowledge has a tendency to be catchy - people tend to think about the things they're interested in, and when they discuss them they've added something to them. However, this wouldn't be found because only the original pattern matches would have been the basis of its index and results, not the derivative. It would be like trying to have a conversation with a person who is autistic - they can only say things in a certain affect, only talk about exactly what is interesting to them - they would not be able to empathize or synthesize well enough to be passable.

Then of course, there's prosody. Computers can say almost anything, but the language is still robotic and wobbly. There have been amazing advances in this field, mostly due to a guy named Alan Black (who to me looks a heck of a lot like 'Hagrid' from the Harry Potter series). Prosody is a trick of language that we use to convey more than just meaning - it is how we convey color. It is impossible to tell you how, from a printed word - the ideas are colorless.

So where are some places that Google will try to go, first? I think it will be music. The engine will be able to synthesize from all of its different sources - ways its connected to us - our phone conversations, searches, travels down the road. It will make music one day and we will enjoy it. In that way it will pass its first test.

Then, of course, it will play games with us. Not just Chess. But other games. Like hide and seek. Or maybe scrabble. It will respond to our conversation and interaction within the context of the game naturally, but only through that context.

Google's next step in its evolution is to become Dialtone 2.0. When you go off-hook instead of hearing a dialtone there will be a voice that asks you what you want to do. Devices like the iPhone will be there to receive the data set you might request by speech - or it will simply dial a friend. The need to have voltage on the line to make a little humming noise, instead of music - or a simple set of questions it can easily and naturally respond to - will be no different than the evolution of the ringtone from a claxon to whatever customized tone you think works best.

Google will hit its limits soon in its current form. Its database, a sort of neat - journaled filesystem and database all in one - very similiar to the PIC Database, is currently awash in the noise of human transaction and its physical seek times have grown perceptibly. Google is doing a good job of indexing all the content in the world. But unlike such systems as Live Person - which apart from being a great place to kill some time and get paid for it, the data itself will soon become part of the problem. Humans have a nasty tendency to generate noise, and its queries can return meaningful results only so long as people who work there at Google will be able to finally interpret the returned data. Which, since their basic mechanism for indexing has become exposed - has been a part of a cat and mouse game with advertisers for the past ten years - with nearly all of the unscrupulous businesses paying to ensure their status at the top of a set of results - purposefully distorting the data. The only reason people used google in the first place was because its results, initially, were pretty spam-free but the machine is now heading quickly into a signal to noise territory where the results are just spam.

Google will still be useful, if it fails. As an advertising curiousity. And a blip in the evolution of man - a point at which mankind learned how not to think anymore. But if its next step as a search engine is not to traverse the boundary of an evolving conversation with its end user, then there will be nothing left to say.

So when will Google be alive? My guess is about 25 years from now. It will take courage on the part of its Leadership as well. Results should start changing within a few years.. You will know they've started work on it if you find yourself pleasantly surprised and challenged by your search results return. You already google prospective mates, use the index regularly as a part of your daily job. The response surprises and intrigue and challenge you instead of be your overpowered sort of rollodex thing. Kind of like my Google ads, which you should click on right now.

The truth is far too many people want Google to stop at simply having rewritten the rules of the world of advertising. These are not good people. They will pay massive amounts of money to keep Google from taking its next step. Google has to kill its spammers. They are a toxin to its growth. And at the same time, they have to get into the business of paying consumers to read content. Delicate turning point for the data, but a fairly easy inflection point to pass through as a business. Its pretty inevitable that companies will micropay you to read their ads one day if you keep up the good work ignoring them.

I think as long as Larry and Sergey are running Google, you will want to keep your ears and eyes open and just wait and see what will happen in five years, Its going to be a good one. It won't be easy - they're dealing with almost supernatural forces whose sole purpose right now is to eff them up - but I'd say , given those two .. hold on for the ride.

Life

We need to be clear about life. How is it defined?

If you read the bible, some of the clearest definitions are when god speaks - the things that god defines, stay defined. The bible and the complete works of william shakespeare are the two books in the english language that have had the greatest impact on literature.

When did god speak? How? God spoke through people, just like you and me. And he was a voice from the storm. His words were a sound you could feel in your gut.

If an embryo sees three months of life, it is a person. Cells drive themselves apart immediately after the egg is fertilized. We see the spine appear first. Then central nervous tissue. This all happens before three months of gestation. But the egg is not alive.

And at three months, the egg becomes a helpless person with a huge series of disabilities and conditions that would keep it from ever being normal if it were born into the world. No different than a person confined in a wheelchair. Stephen Hawking. Three months. Its that simple.

Its alright to try to prevent the destruction of the baby after this. We all try to save life, even on an overpopulated planet - its the way we are. However, much more important are the people who would help the mother, if she would choose to go through with the act of bringing the baby into the world. To keep her safe, and give her good care, and counseling - and keep the baby healthy. This is the end of abortion. Not laws or punishments or threats but a welcoming hand.

In life, you can also find people who are alive, and not alive. And not just people you meet in the office on Monday morning who look like they could really use a cup of coffee.

If someone lives for three years in a coma, or loses one third of their brain to the atrophy of coma, or a persistent vegetative state, then they are not alive. But before this, they are in a living nightmare and no more dead than if you or I were trapped in darkness . Your cells are programmed to die. Its called calpaine oncosis I think. At a certain point there are programmed orders to destroy yourself -within you. They are not programmed to respond to machines.

This is the rule of three. Three months before a child is alive. Three years of coma before a person is no longer alive. One third of a persons brain, before the persons brain is no longer alive.

The brain can regenerate, so exception should be made for anything that can regrow the loss - to lose a third of your brain, and be considered dead, applies only to people in persistent vegetative state. There are people in my office right now, that have lost more brain mass than this and they're still making their deadlines.

In the words of a friend of mine .. "Hope it helps"

Home in the Darkness

A woman who is pregnant is scheduled to be killed by a firing squad in Laos, soon. Her crime was dealing a pound of horse. Unlike her, Teri Schiavo was in both a state of invegetation, and in a contested primary. The Former Republican Party passed an act of congress to attempt to save her life . Catholic priests marched in the streets. Votes .. and a human life.. were on the line. However, as we all knew.. Teri was already dead. Can we please get it right this time? Her name is Samantha Orobator, she is a British citizen. Bring the girl back home.

I know there are some people that think I should burn in hell for what I believe about abortion (public health issue), and what I said and did for Teri Schiavo (nothing). My view is that if this woman dies, we should all burn in hell. The baby didn't deal any heroin. He or she is an innocent life. Lets just call it, you're alive if you live for one business quarter (3 months). Ok?

Sikh

And you shall find.

Black Snake Moan

The Republican Problem

I met a woman with an aquiline nose and a quiet air about her. She stood with a simple grace. Her hair fell from her shoulders in locks. She was plus size but held herself well in that weight. Her eyes were blue, her skin white and her manner comfortable - and yet at the same time - slightly phase shifted from the everday. She was an art school graduate, not wealthy - but she easily identified herself as a member of the social level I was comfortable with. A black dress with a pink blouse. What political party did she belong to?

I met another woman. She was tall, thin - endearing but harboring smallnervous habits such as writing notes on her left hand. Her form was proportionate and attractive, with a fall of platinum blonde hair. She was strong and confident in her speech. On her left hand was the outline of a small note she had drawn there - a half erased phone number. She dressed well but comfortably, cotton dress, sandals. What political party did she belong to?

Who do you identify with? What are your ideas? Do you keep a 24 hour news channel close by, does it make you feel good to have that sound there all the time? If you drive down the road, do you tune into talk radio? Where is the balance between what you believe as a person, and what you will do as a voter.. Are you just conservative? Just Liberal? Or a mix of both?

Government works best if there is a balance. Its like a golf swing - tense up, grip too hard and use too many silly tricks and you will eff things up. Hold the club with all the grip pressure as if you were holding a live bird in your hands, take a smooth, easy swing. Keep your head down. The ball will go a country mile.

This combination of discipline and responsiveness, a balance between liberal and conservative ideas - makes our experiment in democracy effective. Many of us are a mix of conservative and liberal ideals. There are very few real partisans in the United States, and those that are - often you will find have other agenda than the national interest.

And yet, it would seem that there is no conservative representation. The Republican Problem is defined in three simple observations.

• First, the GOP is the handmaiden of lobbyism
• The party has little to speak for its tenure of the last 10 years.
• Third, the GOP,has moved steadily to embrace status anxiety as the mechanism of their brand

Status anxiety is defined by ADB as A worry so pernicious as to be capable of ruining extended stretches of our lives, that we are in danger of failing to conform to the ideals of success laid down by our society and that we may as a result be stripped of dignity and respect; a worry that we are occupying too modest a rung or are about to fall to a lower one. As played by the party - it is the acknowledgement that we rely upon signs of respect from the world to see ourselves in a stable position.

The GOP, unable to embrace the world in this game - became all too ready to see the use of American military might as a way to solve diplomatic problems. Bringing that perspective home, the appeal to white men - in a hypersexualized society - gave them a similiar set of issues. Their response was to brand themselves as the party of security. And wealth. Hitching their wagon to the star of money - as a vehicle for status. And crashing just as fast as the stock market.

A leadership bound tightly to lobbyism - gave us a virally toxicmarket condition that moved the entire global economy into a crash

To be a handmaiden of lobbyism, real reform like the fairtax, or shutting down the useless buildings of the federal reserve (quaintly located a 24 hour train ride from each major city, so they can put the cash on a train - as if they wouldn't electronically transfer it..) will be championed in name and then, quietly - meeting with the lobbyists - it will be a subject for review in the smokefilled room - the interests that wish to kill it will ensure that the initiative dies in this manner. The hand that rocks the cradle.. rules the world.

Massive amounts of money from lobbyist firms channel their way through the GOP. In the last election, Fannie Mae's chief lobbyist ran the campaign for the presidential candidate of the GOP. A Vice Presidential candidate was brought on that publicly decried lobbyism while having hired a lobbyist firm to pull in millions of dollars for a town that was only a few thousand people strong. She'd voted for and supported a 'bridge to nowhere' but made absolutely certain the public image of her 'fighting it' was seen far and wide. She ended up taking the money for it and keeping it.

In the pursuit of lobbyism, true reform has always been something they will close rank about, publicly and outwardly champion - and then quietly kill. Of the lobbyists. By the lobbyists. And For the Lobbyists. Of course they'll also quietly fund people like Ron Paul to help clear up the whole Earmark issue.. you know, the thing that makes legislation bloat into 10,000 page monstrosities...? So the lobbyists can do their job without being noticed..? Here's Dr. Paul on the subject.. ..

The final word on the Republican problem is responsibility. On their watch,the lockstep of corporate lobbyism and corporate unresponsibility in America - has created a glaring gap that has allowed the underbelly of the beast to be shown. Laws and Sausages should not be seen, being made - to be true. But in that same guise, to be as brazen and outwardly concerted in the denial of the legacy of the Bush Republicans, the failure of K Street, and the cynical positioning of the party with respect to their recent history is to gamble that Americans won't think it through and figure them out.

The Grand Old Party would do well for them to take a hike up to the Golgotha where the skulls of the parties that have failed, whig, tory, and so on - since 1776 that blossomed around ideas ... and then over time, became locked in contradiction ... now grin back from the grave. Lobbyism and conservatism do not mix.

Is the GOP so broken it cannot be fixed? No. But it is no different, now, in its history - than the Tory or Whig parties once were.. and it will not survive if it cannot reconnect with the grassroots constituencies. There is a bottom line: The American people welcome Obama as their leader. If the GOP should choose to rebuild itself to a connected, modern party framework that a priori excludes lobbyism - it will acquiesce that they have lost the battle of ideas, and have been misled by people like Rove.

It will involve new economics, different ways of getting paid. Different ways of doing things. And it will involve letting the 24 hour news cycle die.. The Republican Problem of complete disconnection with the American people is simple to solve.. disintermediate the vested interests that have turned it into a sideshow and make it a party of ideas, connectivity and grassroots action.

No Lobbyists. Just Right.