Colorless Green Ideas

So for the first time in quite a while I shook off the standard dinner and a movie and we had a dinner at home. We came back from the library. Then we made homemade butter (you just get heavy cream and then shake it up for 7 minutes - form it into a brick - its alot of fun) and homemade dried fruit snacks (el cheapo pineapples and a dehydrator) and I fixed my sons shoes and my daughter wondered what book I got her from the library. I made sure she couldn't see it. It was such a special book. She followed me to the librarian to try to find out what it was - but I asked the librarian to treat one book very carefully since my daughter wanted to see which one it was. The librarian wrapped it in a black bag. Then I hid it.. I think she heard where I might have placed it. Don't get me wrong, colorless readers. I'm still fucked up as a person. Which might explain why my son and I - out of earshot of little ms. princess - have now definitively resolved a serious issue. Blo

"How much easier it is to be critical than correct." Harpers, 1874 - The first instance of the use of the elephant as a mascot of the soon to be defunct Republican party. Rudolph Guiliani, a leading Republican Presidential Candidate for the election year 2008. To be honest - the GOP seems to be little else other than a political sideshow. The modern republican party, after being almost destroyed by Nixon, resuscitated by the New York Neo Conservatives - lived for a brief while to its promise of lowering taxes - and then somehow morphed into this "values" party. The final deathblow delivered by the bush republicans - their ties to lobbyism too strong to break. The modern GOP stands for legislation like this to bring in their core constituency. Evangelical liberals. Any wonder now that there are new parties springing up all over? Extremism in the defense of liberty? As I said earlier in "detailing my faults" my view of politics isn't that

Driving my daughter to school this morning, she began to feel as if she would throw up. Each day I give my kids a multivitamin and a vitamin E gelcap in the hope that they'll grow up like Icelanders. At first, my lame-ass response was "don't throw up all over your project" and then I gave her something to throw up into. She wretched visibly. Then somehow I had the presence of mind to roll the window down and the cold air helped her. I asked her if she ate breakfast this morning (we were taking her school project in, and everything was a mad rush up until that point) and she said no. And so I had some ... believe it or not ... fresh vegetables in the car. Downing those, she was ok. Her stomach was trying to digest the gel cap and the multivitamin on little else other than water. Driving back , I realized that there should be a sequel to what the fuck is my problem in which I should get very specific about what the hell is wrong with me. So let's start with t

Ok, for starters I am almost always never on time. I am lazy. I am a narcissist. I love to fuck. Maybe I am a sex addict. Married life was great. We fucked constantly. We worked all through the week, fucked nights weekends and sometimes went camping, where we fucked in sleeping bags and on the sides of mountains. I can't seem to start relationships. I don't date. This was ok since I've been married all my fucking life, I have no clue of what social intercourse means anymore. I have stepped on or lost the thread of any good relationship that I could have ever started. I have no clue how to read the signs of a woman's interest. I am so bad that once I almost poked some chick's eye out doing a magic trick at a restaurant. I don't trust anyone. The fact that I am a head of a company only means that I trust that I won't fire myself from the job. Little else. I didn't trust the people I worked with when I was at corporate - and rightly so. I don'

Not many people know this, but the organization that invented the world wide web - today lit up another big experiment - the Large Hadron Collider. This collider is a cut above - in the 7 Tera Electron Volt range. Basically running two beams at 3.5 each and then smashing them into each other. What I find really interesting about this energy range is that the symmetry theories can be tested out. This may be the door that opens to a model that finally makes sense of some of the 250 odd particles that the standard model is producing - and help us to understand the unification of the forces electro-weak and electro-strong, and possibly even gravitational. The ideas of Garrett Lisi are really pretty interesting here - and in this energy range we can try a few out. Have you ever wondered if maybe the four dimensions of space and time are a subset of higher dimensions? Sometimes I feel like there is an echo of them that we can detect - as people. A way in which we can sense the high

A lantern light from deeper in the barn Shone on a man and woman in the door And threw their lurching shadows on a house Near by, all dark in every glossy window. A horse's hoof pawed once the hollow floor, And the back of the gig they stood beside Moved in a little. The man grasped a wheel, The woman spoke out sharply, "Whoa, stand still!" "I saw it just as plain as a white plate," She said, "as the light on the dashboard ran Along the bushes at the roadside--a man's face. You must have seen it too." "I didn't see it. Are you sure----" "Yes, I'm sure!" "--it was a face?" "Joel, I'll have to look. I can't go in, I can't, and leave a thing like that unsettled. Doors locked and curtains drawn will make no difference. I always have felt strange when we came home To the dark house after so long an absence, And the key rattled loudly into place Seemed to warn someone to be gett

Lord she's gone done left me done packed up and split and I with no way to make her come back and everywhere the world is bare bright bone white crystal sand glistens dope death dead dying and jiving drove her away made her take her laughter and her smiles and her softness and her midnight sighs— Fuck Coltrane and music and clouds drifting in the sky fuck the sea and trees and the sky and birds and alligators and all the animals that roam the earth fuck marx and mao fuck fidel and nkrumah and democracy and communism fuck smack and pot and red ripe tomatoes fuck joseph fuck mary fuck god jesus and all the disciples fuck fanon nixon and malcom fuck the revolution fuck freedom fuck the whole muthafucking thing all i want now is my woman back so my soul can sing

Rows and flows of angel hair And ice cream castles in the air And feather canyons everywhere I've looked at clouds that way But now they only block the sun They rain and snow on everyone So many things I would have done Clouds got in my way I've looked at clouds from both sides now From up and down, and still somehow It's cloud illusions I recall I really don't know clouds at all Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels The dizzy dancing way that you feel As every fairy tale comes real I've looked at love that way But now it's just another show And you leave 'em laughing when you go And if you care, don't let them know Don't give yourself away I've looked at love from both sides now From give and take, and still somehow It's love's illusions I recall I really don't know love Really don't know love at all Tears and fears and feeling proud To say "I love you" right out loud Dreams a

You never say goodbye you might not be there for them all the time You just go away Sometimes a friend doesn't need you around they have a life they have a way of getting things done its ok the illusion doesn't matter they expect you to take care of your own whatever you do be the best and if he needs you he will let you know A friend that is a woman is a bit harder to define because you always wondered and maybe you had to bite down and these are the friendships you have to cut away the ones that grow into you and for their absence leave you stronger faster colder Just shut yourself down And still somehow feel it isn't always easy to say goodbye to a friend who is a beautiful woman just say goodbye and then do everything any good man would do let it grow but let it go One day you might meet her in a store maybe she married an architect Say hello and leave her laughing when you go

I am going to keep this simple. My life is a mess. I am a mess. My finances are a mess. My kids are a mess. So what if they got straight A's. Who cares? Get my career back on track. I have a number I need to make . Make it Update my research info. Update my Company info. And file taxes. Get rid of anything I don't need. Including dead relationships. Get out there and run or bike for god's sake. Do a 10 miler or bike 50 Take care of lamb. Get my daughter some damn braces Get a hobby. Floss Blogging just gets in the way.

Trillions of dollars will be saved and costs will be slashed as a result of radical reforms - costs that were responsible for 1 out of every 6 dollars spent in America - being spent on healthcare. Think about that for a second. America buys tractors, jet airliners, cruise ships... just lift your thought up for a second and pretend you are looking at a satellite photo of the united states - and look around. Paint the state of California, Texas, Florida, Nevada, Ohio, Colorado and Georgia . Then step back. Thats how much of the entire cash of our country is poured into healthcare each year. Eight entire states out of fifty. Or rather. Was. Because the GOP lost. And they lost big time. And so finally, we're going to see something nice for you, and me. And everyone else. And not just the lobbyist fat cats. You know? It's ok to be a party of conservative values. Its ok to be a party that stands for family values. But it is a waste of everyone's time to be a party that stan

Secret Friend: Sheep Allies: Dog, Tiger Career: 3/4 Wealth:3/4 Health:4/4 Love :3/4 The Horse will enjoy a good year because it is in union with the Grand Duke Jupiter. The fantastic combination of faavorable stars will help to ease away troubles caused by the inauspicious stars in your life palace. You will see a good year in terms of fame, power, love and wealth altogether, but coupled with a number of quarrelings, dipsutes, lawsuits and emotional entanglements. Abundance opportunities are in store for you in your career, which could lead to powerful recognition. Sighting your auspicious San Tai star (three star combination and Jiang Xing star (General) will imply enhanced working status and authority. The first one brings nobleman luck, while the second one indicates promotion. Your chances of enjoying higher income will be realized easily. The only drawback is the presence of the Wu Gui (Five Ghost) whic will bring you truobles and turbulences caused by backstabbers and

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Ice Your only rivers run cold These city lights They shine in silver and gold, Dug from the night Your eyes as black as coal Walk on by, Walk on through, Walk till you run. And don't look back. For here, I am. Carnival, the wheels fly and the colors spin through alcohol. Red wine that punctures the skin. Face to face in a dry and waterless place. Walk on by, Walk on through So sad to beseige your love so, Head on, stay this time. Stay tonight, in a lie. I'm only asking but I think that you know. Come on take me away Come on take me away Come on take me home. Home again And if the mountain should crumble or disappear into the sea Not a tear, no not I Stay in this time Stay tonight in a light. Ever after, this love in time. And if you save it all, Save your love Don't push me too far tonight.

The Mutt!

The dream was intricate a dock a model T stolen money from a monopoly game I awoke with a black cat upon my shoulder her cool breath against my neck memories of the wood and teak on the floorboard a getaway car the tropical island breeze blowing through the mountain trees shaking the sleep from my head and holding her pressed against my neck she places her paw on my arm time to get up My daughter's green screen is dry the flat bright paint matte finished my son tells me he's already eaten breakfast Today is a day for kicking ass I teach him how to hack break a password important things he will need to know for life just he and I El dijo que te ama It will not rain today and the trees will reach for the sun Colorless reader here is what will be done I will find a stud in the wall and drill it until the mounting bracket can hold the weight of a man I will fix the art room and bolt the exhaust of the dryer until it vents to the outside without

I have dutifully and faithfully executed my office as husband. My ex-wife - and I - after much empirical work - have now , working together - formulated these rules for a happy marriage: It's important to have a woman who can cook It's important to have a woman that is great in bed It's good to have a woman that can do the books (thanks Dad!) It's important to have a woman who has a great sense of humor It is very important that these four women never find out about each other Looking now upon the shattered ruin of my marriage - I, with two small children to raise alone - now appreciating exactly how much work my ex-wife was doing in raising these children - am forced to reflect upon her positive characteristics. My ex wife always delivers when the heat is on. She is or was a strong, loving , caring woman who is or was almost always demure, submissive, pleasant and kind. Except for a few occasions where she tried to send me to prison for trying

Hi. I'm turnerbroadcasting's mistress. Let's talk about sex. He never seems to stop. He is just insatiable. Sometimes, he takes me out for dinner and he treats me like a queen. But as soon as the lights are out in the home! Honey Let me Tell you! What's he like? Well. He's rough. And he likes to use me as his tool. This kind of turns me on, to tell the truth. I love it when he enters me. I almost instinctively clench around him. Bucking him to ecstacy. But somehow I always seem to throw up at the end... I'm not sure why this is... Of course, we have an open relationship. Thats what he wants. Not me. I want to be with him all the time. I think I caught him one time with that bitch - the right hand. I don't know what he sees in her. Every time he's off with her I'm always the one on the mouse.. it's not fair. I do the housekeeping and the chores, and she gets all the fun. I've talked to him about settling down. But he won'

My daughter takes after her mother. Who was and is most decidedly Mad. But what a different form of madness this, she takes from the woman who gave her birth and twenty three better chromosones than I could deliver. Perhaps my daughter's favorite demotivational poster would help us with this discussion. It is this one. Now, let us reflect for a moment - the victory in which the American people now savor - while ridiculous paid goons of the lobbyists jump from office to office hoping to get another made for TV moment about them... how did this come to be? Did we just get a president that magically knew exactly what to do? Or did he bring into the most powerful position of diplomacy in our country - A woman? A woman who had executed the same healthcare reform strategy - a woman who had brought the entire weight of her husband's administration to the issue - and could it be, perhaps - a woman who flew our junior senator from Illinois - by wire? That is the magic of a pa

Oh yes. That look in his eye. It IS a look you have seen before. Look closely. It is the look of a Mad Scientist. You see. Tonight. I have had a sort of minor epiphany. I have realized that I am. Quite Mad. And that it is hereditary. Oh, my Father - Dean of a University that he is - tried to hide his madness. He bought fishing boats and he learned to tie sailors knots and he drank wine and tasted cheese and like a good republican he tuned his radio to the A.M. band and faithfully resubmitted to our mixed company the talking points of a dead political party, that he may liven up his own. But he was born six weeks early. Just like my son. And he took a look at six volumes thick enough to stun an ox - six tomes of medical information and like that he memorized every single one of them. He lives for the moment he puts on his white lab coat and he secretly enjoys being awakened from whatever peaceful dream he might have enjoyed in his well-appointed bed - to be pulled into a cold an

Jem, having survived Boo Radley, a mad dog and other terrors, had concluded that it was cowardly to stop at Miss Rachel's front steps and wait, and had decreed that we must run as far as the post office corner each evening to meet Atticus coming from work. Countless evenings Atticus would find Jem furious at something Mrs. Dubose had said when we went by. "Easy does it, son," Atticus would say. "She's an old lady and she's ill. You just hold your head high and be a gentleman. Whatever she says to you, it's your job not to let her make you mad." Jem would say she must not be very sick, she hollered so. When the three of us came to her house, Atticus would sweep off his hat, wave gallantly to her and say, "Good evening, Mrs. Dubose! You look like a picture this evening." I never heard Atticus say like a picture of what. He would tell her the courthouse news, and would say he hoped with all his heart she'd have a goo

A world of ghosts People passing from one place to another Not talking But listening And not replying But speaking And not being But there And every day the paperboy brings more And no one listens to your cries and no one sings you lullabies Draw the curtains to the outside Turn out the light Let farmville die dropping to the earth disintegrating into the dark ground where something looks up and bar codes your hand And you hear the voice of the Oracle D. B. A. Come out and play We're always here We're always ready Said the little people in their little boxes with their little voices and their little words We are your friends We care about you We love you Ignore that man behind the curtain

Beatrix Potter is a woman by whom you can feel the fear of the outside world and the noise of the city invading her and our world and its destructive power to unfold drawing us then safe to her garden And letting us feel how wonderful it might have been Beatrix Potter was wise She wrote the story of the Town Mouse As if to warn us Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow I wonder what must she have been like A recluse, and only daughter I wondered why did she write the story of the city and country mouse to Aesop in the Shadows And if she was alive today what her profile might say on the kink forum at craigslist.org

This is about you about how beautiful and strong and wonderful you are you are a miracle you guide me your existence and life in this world is a source of light This is about the morning that I saw the world pull up from the horizon and the ocean disappear in a flash of blinding green light This is about love and how it can shape us and give us strength and the secret smile that we once shared If you take away one thing from here remember that you have the chance to shape the entire universe remember that there is something within you that never dies and Bettie Page is Bondage Princess of the Universe Kinky can be origin The elements never struggle against each other -and the soul is dyed with the color of our thoughts

In our court system today there is a very real bias against fathers. over 95 percent of all custody decisions are decided for the mother. In Tennessee, a new bill was introduced that provides for automatic joint custody in the event of a vituperative and highly contested divorce. In California, on a separate side of the coin - the house bill AB 612 was introduced to try to ensure that no divorce case could discuss parental alienation - the aftereffect of which can be felt by the child after losing a parent - in any case regarding the welfare of the child. Fathers commonly get one day in five with their children after cases are settled - the Tenn. law would give them one in two. And the California law would make sure that no one could talk about the fact that the child would miss their dad. Reese Hopkins, a Boston man - is being held in prison for the rape of an 11 year old girl. The court system, and the DA have offered him a deal where he is released for time served. But he has

Tool from Joy & Misery on Vimeo .

My version. (from an old russian folk tale). Once there was a soldier, returning home from the war. He had nothing save the clothes on his back and two biscuits in his pocket. First, he came upon two men, at a convenience store - when he stopped to get some 5.00 a gallon gas. One playing the fiddle and the other whistling and playing the flute. He saw that they looked hungry - and so he said "I only have two biscuits, but to thank you for playing for me (even though the fiddler was quite bad) - I will give you one of my biscuits". They ate and were happy. The flute player said "Soldier, you're cool. Can I give you something?" .. to which the soldier shot back "I'd really like to be able to whistle like you". And so. The man gave him his whistle. And there the soldier left the two - now a bit more hungry and a bit lighter in the desert camo backpack - but whistling down the road to himself and not feeling too bad. As he came around a bend

A life is made of single moments we cherish the ones that break through the veil of spacetime we end alone buried in the earth food for worms Carpe Diem was your lesson And if we fall to get back up again In the end facing whatever fear what original sin even cold revenge to take the chance to be alive and fight the hive-mind the search engine roiling across the horizon we march to the distant drum by the beat of your heart black metal against black engine gunning away from the burning wave to google ourselves Outside of my window was a tree its leaves had all been eaten by grasshoppers

For Flowers The silk soft black hair suprised me its touch to my hand and the feel of your skin You felt right to me Your dark coat flutters in the wind your soft bed we shared in my dream William Blake measuring the universe The point of the compass against my skin I really can't say I am trying to remember you but it was something about what I was like with you and how I felt complete even as pieces of me fell away spinning into the dark These pieces small like diamond sparks shine One day I will feel her skin And its touch will remind me of silk and darkness and light from darkness exploding behind my eyes into my heart

I had to work late last night and in general my schedule revolves around the kids - normally I get them off to school at around six or seven then rush home to try to meet them around 4 as they return from school. Today as things would happen I laid down for a nap. I think I've learned something about myself from this. When I laid down, the thing that relaxed me the most was to hum a few bars of 'Telephone' by Lady GaGa. And I was thinking while I was laying down. How is it that Lady GaGa calms me down? I only laid down because I was waiting on a conference call. And the whole time I was laying in bed I was trying to figure out why I was musing on Lady GaGa I dreamed almost nothing. I heard everything going on- I was perfectly relaxed. The kids were playing downstairs. I woke up stronger and feeling alot better. I guess I learned that when I have to be awake, I am. I wouldn't leave the kids unattended. Cool. I plan to get into this nap thing next weekend.

First, the fact that the federal government did anything at all besides sit around and cash the checks from the lobbyists - is nothing short of a minor miracle. This issue has sat around for nearly 36 years - or more. In fact, in the early thirties when every other country in the world had more or less discovered that healthcare is a good idea - President Teddy Roosevelt tried his hand at healthcare reform. The great influenza epidimic of 1918 passed with its lesson unlearned. But corporate muscle memory was maintained. In the 1940's, as a way of saying 'Thank you' to the returning veterans of World War II - Great Britain passed its National Healthcare Reforms and to this day they remain a popular and longstanding government program that largely takes care of itself. America, meanwhile - was still recovering from the political calculus and fallout of unprecedented prosperity. Our country remained largely unscathed from the War - nobody recognized what the lobbyists w

.. Shine it. I'm turning my focus to Bettie Page. As a scientist, I am devoted to discovering the true nature of things - the fact that images of Bettie have been associated with increased heart rate, sharper focus, and stronger metabolism in males of the species - must be discovered to its origin. This is serious work. It will require very careful study of these photos below. More data points here would help as well. If anyone knows what happened to some of the 70% of her work that was destroyed in a fire - supposedly - please post it to the internet. We need to get a statistically significant sample of her work. All in the name of .. science... of course.. Now. There are those out there that will say 'She's a Bondage Princess, not a Goddess'. What's the difference? Perhaps the answer is not so obvious. I recommend careful study of the above images, suitable for archival storage and careful indexing on your computerized data storage devices. I for one, know th

There is a certain compatibility to the Chinese zodiac - a way in which whatever is written seems to be true. An acquaintance, Rob Brezny - would often write horoscopes in such a way that the person under the sign it was written for would often be directed to a greater sense of responsibility for themselves. It was as if his writing was a kind of mirror , in which what you saw was yourself looking back at you - only he would modify the mirror slightly so that it was fun to think of what you needed to do. Whatever could be said of Rob, his writing was almost always a hall of mirrors. He's a fun person to be around. Sometimes when he puts on the big Amphibian head and wears it around, he's even more fun. What time is it , boys and girls? My birth sign seems to be pulling up aces this year - I'm supposed to meet love but I need to keep an open mind and not be argumentative or stubborn so that I can hear and feel what's going on around me. This year holds alot of promis

I am sorry I can't remember your name We were only graduate students together I didn't know you very well But I was happy that you were engaged And I gave you this concert Do you Remember? I don't know if you are still married I don't know where you live I am glad you were together This gift - the tickets to this concert was mine to give I really could care less what happened later I guess Sometime after that I disappeared Nice to know you Goodbye

It was a brief, brilliant miracle that burned itself up just to make itself alive and I caught you then in your moment of glory your last climactic scene against the dark blue stage of night nothing held back nothing given no motion wasted filmed against the desert ground We couldn't take our eyes off you The sun winding its course half run And the days and nights started whipping by until the sky was gray from the matrix they created the eyes in our head watching the world spin round faster and faster moshing the hydrogen line to detonate in the final scene against your back close up of thick rope shooting into the air and landing warm and the sun went down for the last time landing , it burned and made soft the thin skin in which we live and breathe The sky grew dark before you arrived like lucifer's hammer Queen of the night and night to day You made all our lives worth living You blew us all away I remember the expression on your face kind of l

That sense that she stores the things that we see and feel and can repeat and reveal and truly understand the feelings and scene in which the impression was struck origin She can dream of things before and hold and preserve and love and carry forward to safety the being within and nurse it until it is strong Broken I cannot compete against her girlfriend so perfect, so much the same I can only hope the differences can be fun as well and my shaky world and tenuous hold on life sometimes in the twitch of the muscle or the tear against the perfect kiss against her double X against her breast

If only it were true. Alot of the really good speech technology is mired in poor voice user interface design. The few applications that are well designed - are to the companies and users that employ them - sine qua non. Here's the article from CNN that posted today. My hope is that adaptive speech will be the inflection point that will vault Speech Technology into the true renaissance - really usable speech technology just cannot be beaten. Speech is a good technology to open interfaces - that were previously closed. For example, autocomplete tends to annoyingly finish off my text input into my bluray - however speech would allow me to sound out a letter by letter much faster than an awkward input session from an LCDTV Remote / and it would do it in a very streamlined way - we would be able to use our cellphones, for example - to input into netflix queue - or youtube search terms - and do away with some of the strange tricks one has to employ in trying to type with an LCD TV Rem