Sleepover: Boys vs. Girls

My son had a big weekend. Almost as if to congratulate him for really doing a great job in the school play, his mom - a woman who by any measure could be considered stern - suddenly allowed him to have friends over for a sleepover. Three little boys rampaged across my home grounds for the past two days.

My daughter had sleepovers with her friends, and I had thought I was ready. However....

The first major difference I noticed , was the fact little boys sometimes tend to get into disagreement. As in, punching each other in the stomach. My wife , as aggressive a woman as she is - did not grasp the fact that the only way to stop two little boys from tearing each other up is to hold them apart. After nerves settled, we held a sort of court where I listened to both sides, and then settled the issue. Yes, its not ok to punch someone in the stomach. No, you can't kick them in the face if they do it to you. Shake hands. And go back to your corners for round two.

They decided to try to teach dad how to do a flip. And in fact, I think I actually got it. But for some reason, it tore up my elbows on the landing. I have two round red spots on either elbow. I think this is because they told me to close my eyes and tuck my arms into my side. This had the unforeseen side effect of whenever I landed wrong, it would be right on the elbow. The trampoline was slightly angled, so this mean I came down from about five feet in the air and then dragged my elbows across the fabric of the trampoline on landing. Ouch.

Little girls sleepovers tend to be things in which they do all kinds of neat things together, and then go up to their room at around seven o clock or so and giggle and play until some unearthly late hour in the night.

Little boys sleepovers , I found, are a nonstop action adventure ride until sunset, then they pass out in sleeping bags on the floor and awake at either 4 or 6:20 am, depending upon the kid - and are out on the trampoline again. My neighbors love me.

In 24 hours, there were 3 hours of skateboarding, 1 hour of riding bikes, four hours of jumping on the trampoline, skateboard races in our home across the living room floor, cars, four games of basketball, houses (full of cars) transported to the park and a cruise down the road in a '66 Chevy Malibu. Four pizzas, and a private screening of "Abra Catastrophe". No, I don't know what all of this adds up to. Except that , as I write this, it happens to be monday morning. Thanks to my restful weekend, a safe haven against the storm of the work week.. I'm ready to go to work.

Thank God for the Nation of Colombia.

Poetry Man - Phoebe Snow

Brace

Desktop background , bra.

Higgs Boson/ God Particle

The Higgs Boson is a neat little particle. Like alot of these other particles of the standard model, maybe 250 of them - it is one of those particles that only occurs in a really big particle collision.

Part of what makes the Higgs Boson cool to talk about is that its involved with something we call 'the energy of the vaccuum'. Basically what happens in space is that we see this particle just pop out of nowhere. Ok, so measuring it is a big deal because when we look up at the sky we see stars, and we can guess their mass and when you add it up, there is alot of missing matter in the universe and this particle might hold the clue.

People have referred to this particle as the 'God Particle' because its involved in some pretty heavy interactions. Tipler calculated a specific mass for this particle, and predicted serious implications if its discovery was proven. Nobody's seen it yet.

This month we're going to find out if it does exist. The rest of this blog post is only for people who say they are superstitious. Analytics can stop right here.

Ok. Now here comes intrigue. The first time we were ever going to look at this particle - was in Vaxahatchie, Texas. The superconducting supercollider would've been looking at this particle almost as soon as it powered up. Big giant magnets and a huge underground tunnel ring later, the project was cancelled. Just like that.

Then, the CERN ring was supposed to power up and take a look at this thing. And along comes a bird, holding a piece of bread. The bird flew over one of the rings, and the bread drops from its talon and shuts down a major magnet in the ring, which shorts out and shuts down the entire collider for a year.

The question for the superstitious: if this particle truly holds a key to understanding God... would there be a vested interest in those from the future to stop us from finding it?

How I feel

How I feel about marriage (to my wife of 15 yrs..)


How I feel about the prospect of divorce ..

Epictetus

"Of all existing things some are in our power, and others are not in our power. In our power are thought, impulse, will to get and will to avoid, and, in a word, everything which is our own doing. Things not in our power include the body, property, reputation, office, and, in a word, everything which is not our own doing. Things in our power are by nature free, unhindered, untrammeled; things not in our power are weak, servile, subject to hindrance, dependent on others. Remember then that if you imagine that what is naturally slavish is free, and what is naturally another’s is your own, you will be hampered, you will mourn, you will be put to confusion, you will blame gods and men; but if you think that only your own belongs to you, and that what is another’s is indeed another’s, no one will ever put compulsion or hindrance on you, you will blame none, you will accuse none, you will do nothing against your will, no one will harm you, you will have no enemy, for no harm can touch you."

Epictetus, 90 AD.

Someday - Warcraft/Nickelback [AMV]

Nothing Left to Discuss

You must pay 25.00 to the American Society
for the Prevention of Cruelty To Animals
You must agree to never cage a feral cat again
With an Ice Cooler
You must allow yourself to be caught in an Extramarital affair
By Bringing your Girlfriend home and fucking her in your wife's bed
She will wear
A beautiful scent
That will remain upon your pillows
The concept of this will turn you on
You will come seven times thinking about it
Because women are competitive
You will be referred to in her Blackberry
By your wife's first name
So that each time you call
Your mistress will answer it as if it was your wife

You will leave the camp B-rated movie
That you and your mistress stole your way into
Sleep through this masterpiece is not allowed
This is the only way
You can prove that you can deal
And you will then take her home
Where your sexual performance must be unreal
Fucking your girlfriend In your wife's bed
While she is still home
To prove that you can feel
This is not negotiable

You will answer each and every one of my questions
And when we are done

You will fucking disappear

But just one thing
You will not make any mistakes
Because after all
You really aren't extramarital affair material, are you
So don't clip her nipples
then take them off just as she comes
Because she might scream
And come too hard

It has to be silent sex
sort of like a cat plays with a mouse
After its dead

Oh but one more thing
Your cellphone battery died
And so
We have nothing left to discuss
You and I

Like Epictetus
And Pandora
You see, the box has been opened
And that is why when I left you that night
I chose to spend it with a friend
thank heaven
I was able to close the lid
to save one last demon

he stirs around in the dark
leathery winged apotropeia
restless, he slams against the box
and whispers his name
one must never hope
one must only plan
he moves around in the dark
he has the shape of a man

who has nothing left to discuss

Camouflage

The cat walks in the dark shadow
but its feet are white
across its chest a blaze of color
a star and stripes

Ce'st le trompe de l'oeil
break the pattern of the light
The zebra disappears into the Serengeti
The leopard dissolves into the night

The tiger burns bright
in the forests of the night

And the dark line of the footpath
is broken by the steps
his hair
turned into bright white

he said it was because
Ignatz hit him so hard

Sunrise

We run to the sunrise
as the day breaks open wide
to promise of new life
The sun lights an orange fire
across the sky

You and I never go gently into the good night
we are strong, and when darkness falls away
We race into the sun
And meet the brand new day

The sun is up
The sky is blue
its beautiful
and so are you

Salt Water

Images by Howard Schatz, from the Book H20