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Showing posts from November, 2009

Google Voice - Demo

Location Aware Voice Software .... Vaporware...
The dialogues are too open ended to be effective.

Flip!

I did a flip today! Actually, I did a sort of flip day before yesterday. This sentence is a garden path sentence. For what its worth. Day before, I watched a video clip of myself and it looked like a killer whale breaching the ocean, and slowly turning back into the sea. I was moving way too slow. I was also staring at my feet. I didn't look too great, but it was a flip, of sorts. That was basically where I conquered my fear of doing flips. I have been doing them on the diving board, and its been bellyflop city. The lifeguards don't let you flip off the edge of the pool, where I really wanted to practice - so I'm up four feet off the water... and wham! Exfoliation! Bone shuddering collision with surface tensions took their toll. I was afraid of doing them. But I really want to do one. So, I finally decided the only way to do it, is to go for it. A few weekends ago, my son and his sleepover pals helped me along the path. They told me to focus on doing a few …

Home

I was returning from high school one day and a runaway horse with a bridle on sped past a group of us into a farmer's yard looking for a drink of water. The horse was perspiring heavily. And the farmer didn't recognize it so we cornered it. I hopped on the horse's back. Since it had a bridle on, I took hold of the tick rein and said, "Giddy-up." Headed for the highway, I knew the horse would turn in the right direction. I didn't know what the right direction was. And the horse trotted and galloped along. Now and then he would forget he was on the highway and start into a field. So I would pull on him a bit and call his attention to the fact the highway was where he was supposed to be. And finally, about four miles from where I had boarded him, he turned into a farm yard and the farmer said, "So that's how that critter came back. Where did you find him?" I said, "About four miles from here." "How did you know you should come here?&…

Closer ...

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I'm very close to finishing my research , and there be demons. The final third looms. Things are coming together. And paradoxically. They're also coming apart. There is no job security in my life right now - no financial security - no home or land security. I normally respond to all of this by selecting a lower target and taking it out. Something that is easy to accomplish and has a real or tangible benefit. Perhaps the important thing in my life is whatever impact I will have in my field, and whatever value my insight will be there. Its hard to study language, and speech. Most people tend to hyper intellectualize it. But language is a paradox. Like a diamond , the only thing that can reveal the structure of language is language. The many facets of language reveal themselves only to those who have a unique ability to be able to get away from it all. And at the same time, be able to carefully express themselves within the constraint - or freedom - of the written word…

Horse with No Name - America

Bible Verse

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Blurry - Puddle of Mudd

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Everything's so blurry
and everyone's so fake
And everybody's empty
And everything is so messed up
Pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl
You could be my someone
You can be my scene
You know that I'll protect you
From all of the obscene


I wonder what you're doin'
Imagine where you are
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far

Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away?
When you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away?


Everyone is changing
There's no one left that's real
So make up your own ending
And let me know just how you feel
'Cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl


You could be my someone
You can be my scene
You know that I will save you
From all of the unclean
I wonder what you're doin'
I wonder where you are
There's oceans in betwe…

Ask Nothing Beyond Itself

I welcome change
The elements combine and transform themselves
They do not struggle against themselves



When I am tempted to be bitter
I remember that
Nothing is guaranteed
I do not see misfortune
but rather, the chance to bear misfortune worthily
In this single act of committing to paper
thought
in disciplined form
There is a hold of promise for me
somehow
I believe
everything has a purpose
and most importantly
An End

I go to Meet My own End.
with a clear heart and Mind
Nothing happens to a man
which is is not formed by Nature
To Bear.
The robber of your free will
DNE
Anything beautiful
Derives its beauty from itself
And asks nothing beyond itself
It simply is
We simply are
And I will cease to be
And you will cease to be
And the color of our soul
is dyed by our thought

My Uneasy Relationship with AdSense

I logged in tonight, while a Windows 7 install was going on and there at the top of my blog was a Pro Move adsense advertisement at the top of my blog. Ok, thats just. Creepy. I am in fact, moving. I am going to sell my home, and go to cash one way or another in the next two weeks. I have bidders for the thing although I want to get it into the hands of a friend of mine. I have lived in my home for 15 years. This is a good time for me to take the equity out and shop the market. Appraisals are the main thing these days. The area in which I live has had a steady appraisal value but the bank will still downrate the amount they give you based on where they think the appraisals will go. Basically, they're saying whatever you think its worth, its worth 20,000.00 less than that. Much of why my home has held its value centers around its location. My wife and I used to walk through the woods to this beautiful lake not far from where we are. We would cross this old railroad, ma…

The Road

Hyacinth

Let your food be thy medicine
and thy medicine be thy food
let rest and good spirits conquer ill
and peace and compassion become your leave

Consider the hyacinth how it struggles not
but simply is
see how it grows in the field
see how it quietly lays against cold stone
the white , the gray
and carefully carved lettering
of someone who has nothing left to say

Tool - Schism - AMV

Sleepover: Boys vs. Girls

My son had a big weekend. Almost as if to congratulate him for really doing a great job in the school play, his mom - a woman who by any measure could be considered stern - suddenly allowed him to have friends over for a sleepover. Three little boys rampaged across my home grounds for the past two days. My daughter had sleepovers with her friends, and I had thought I was ready. However.... The first major difference I noticed , was the fact little boys sometimes tend to get into disagreement. As in, punching each other in the stomach. My wife , as aggressive a woman as she is - did not grasp the fact that the only way to stop two little boys from tearing each other up is to hold them apart. After nerves settled, we held a sort of court where I listened to both sides, and then settled the issue. Yes, its not ok to punch someone in the stomach. No, you can't kick them in the face if they do it to you. Shake hands. And go back to your corners for round two. They decided to t…

Poetry Man - Phoebe Snow

Brace

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Desktop background , bra.

Higgs Boson/ God Particle

The Higgs Boson is a neat little particle. Like alot of these other particles of the standard model, maybe 250 of them - it is one of those particles that only occurs in a really big particle collision. Part of what makes the Higgs Boson cool to talk about is that its involved with something we call 'the energy of the vaccuum'. Basically what happens in space is that we see this particle just pop out of nowhere. Ok, so measuring it is a big deal because when we look up at the sky we see stars, and we can guess their mass and when you add it up, there is alot of missing matter in the universe and this particle might hold the clue. People have referred to this particle as the 'God Particle' because its involved in some pretty heavy interactions. Tipler calculated a specific mass for this particle, and predicted serious implications if its discovery was proven. Nobody's seen it yet. This month we're going to find out if it does exist. The rest of this blog…

How I feel

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How I feel about marriage (to my wife of 15 yrs..)


How I feel about the prospect of divorce ..

Epictetus

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"Of all existing things some are in our power, and others are not in our power. In our power are thought, impulse, will to get and will to avoid, and, in a word, everything which is our own doing. Things not in our power include the body, property, reputation, office, and, in a word, everything which is not our own doing. Things in our power are by nature free, unhindered, untrammeled; things not in our power are weak, servile, subject to hindrance, dependent on others. Remember then that if you imagine that what is naturally slavish is free, and what is naturally another’s is your own, you will be hampered, you will mourn, you will be put to confusion, you will blame gods and men; but if you think that only your own belongs to you, and that what is another’s is indeed another’s, no one will ever put compulsion or hindrance on you, you will blame none, you will accuse none, you will do nothing against your will, no one will harm you, you will have no enemy, for no harm can touch …

Someday - Warcraft/Nickelback [AMV]

Nothing Left to Discuss

You must pay 25.00 to the American Society
for the Prevention of Cruelty To Animals
You must agree to never cage a feral cat again
With an Ice Cooler
You must allow yourself to be caught in an Extramarital affair
By Bringing your Girlfriend home and fucking her in your wife's bed
She will wear
A beautiful scent
That will remain upon your pillows
The concept of this will turn you on
You will come seven times thinking about it
Because women are competitive
You will be referred to in her Blackberry
By your wife's first name
So that each time you call
Your mistress will answer it as if it was your wife

You will leave the camp B-rated movie
That you and your mistress stole your way into
Sleep through this masterpiece is not allowed
This is the only way
You can prove that you can deal
And you will then take her home
Where your sexual performance must be unreal
Fucking your girlfriend In your wife's bed
While she is still home
To prove that you can feel
This is not negotiabl…

Camouflage

The cat walks in the dark shadow
but its feet are white
across its chest a blaze of color
a star and stripes

Ce'st le trompe de l'oeil
break the pattern of the light
The zebra disappears into the Serengeti
The leopard dissolves into the night

The tiger burns bright
in the forests of the night

And the dark line of the footpath
is broken by the steps
his hair
turned into bright white

he said it was because
Ignatz hit him so hard

Sunrise

We run to the sunrise
as the day breaks open wide
to promise of new life
The sun lights an orange fire
across the sky

You and I never go gently into the good night
we are strong, and when darkness falls away
We race into the sun
And meet the brand new day

The sun is up
The sky is blue
its beautiful
and so are you

Salt Water

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Images by Howard Schatz, from the Book H20

American Medical Association Endorses Reform

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The independent, and conservative American Medical Association along with another major political action group - endorsed Healthcare Reform in the whole cloth. A doctor must balance his politics against mischief. He takes an oath not to get involved in pranks, which puts most doctors either against their oath - or working for the public good in larger measure. Two examples come to mind, one of whom is Dr. Howard Dean. And so the problem for the Doctor has really been out of control litigation in the industry - and this is an underlying problem whose root cause can be traced to structural issues in treatment. Teams of doctors, unnecessary tests, and complicated billing procedures all plague our healthcare standard. Doctors first and foremost practice their art because they genuinely want to see people get better. They hate to see people paddling at the bottom of the well. When the healthcare reform package passed the General Accounting Office review, the GAO sent a report back …

Amazing Grace - J. Newton, 1750

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Amazing Grace
how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now am found,
was blind, but now I see


T'was Grace that taught
my heart to fear
And Grace, my fears relieved
How precious did that Grace appear
the hour I first believed


Through many dangers, toils and snares
we have already come
T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far
and Grace will lead us home


The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
as long as life endures


When we've been here ten thousand years
bright shining as the sun
We've no less days to sing God's praise
then when we've first begun

Animal Mind

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On a warm, wet evening in Atlanta, the author finds himself the focus of ever increasing campaign against his sanity - a wife becoming unhinged, mistress missing. The dark unknown. His desire to be with a woman increasing. A certain woman that has become his focus and light. He begins to fantasize - and uses that great fugue of imagery known as the internet, to focus his vision. Left to his own devices, Animal Mind drives him onward.



And oh, what devices they are..


Blurry - Puddle of Mudd [AMV]

Froggy

It is such a strange feeling
only broken by discrete moments
A sense that perhaps I have faced a challenge
A sense that more is to come

I place a zero on the floor
And gun the engine
A sense that now is the time to run
A sense that there is nothing new under the sun

Biting my legs and tense, my arms
My leg bounces against my desk, the music of my nerves
like the drums of katalon
ticking my time away

Home - Zero 7