I started off with four iron yesterday at the driving range and I almost didn't have to go anywhere else. Four iron is a great club to do a swing check with - its got a little bit of length, and at the same time its just inside and down far enough to be able to tell you where you want to go with your 5,6,7 as well as your 3, and Driver.
The driver is a violent swing, and really a different animal than your four but it's pretty easy to adjust and after all - a swing, is a swing.
Hitting well kind of rubs off on everyone around you. My son wanted to hit four but he had to choke so far up the club I felt it better to give him my 60 degree wedge and let him hit that so that at least he can hold a little grip. Before you know it that kid was hitting them high and soft and 20 yards.
My daughter, who was reading a book - decided that she would catch me on the putting green while my son was slapping balls downrange - and inform me that it was time to go. Following me around t…
We're living in a world in which voting for an increase in minimum wage requires your senator to vote for funding a war of convenience in Iraq. Under the previous administration, we saw people bloated and rotting in the sun - on the streets of a major American city - and we, as voters, were asked to accept the fact that - thanks to a single, paid off legislator from Texas - a vote for aid and assistance to these refugees of a major storm - was a vote to increase the mercury levels and emissions of coal fired power plants in Pennsylvania. So, let's get it right: vote to rescue us from global warming disaster by voting to increase greenhouse gasses. Vote to help America get on its feet economically by voting to spend 200 billion dollars a year on a war of convenience in a country that doesn't lower our cost of gas.
How does legislation - every bill that passes across the semi-corrupt house of congress, or the almost fully corrupt - senate - become a bloated monstrosi…
I believe in, and acknowledge the existence of - God.
Synomously - the Infinite Creator. I believe that prayer works. I also believe that talking to your wife works, and keeping an open and honest relationship between you and your wife is a cornerstone to being happy. I believe that the woman in your life is a blessing from God and that you should keep her at a priority second only to God. This is of course, difficult to do sometimes - you will have these moments when she wants to watch figure skating and you want to watch baseball. I also believe in absolute possession of the remote control to the TV. Don't even think about it. Mine .
As a footnote to the above, to qualify my absolute and unquestioned possession of the remote control and other responsibilities of my office ..(crushing fuzzy bugs + spiders, not asking for directions, pouncing her bones, opening pickle jars, taking out the trash..) -- figure skating is alot like skateboarding and surfing if you look at…
We ran together, my daughter and I - she on her bike and keeping a fairly good pace for about six or seven miles or so, then we parked the bike and ran together for another few miles.
Then we laid down on the porch and looked up at the sky and tried to find shapes in the clouds. My son was mixing up batter for pancakes and I decided I will run another few miles to the store and back with a proper breakfast for dinner.
They're happy. I'm happy. Funny thing about hope. It can do alot for you on long runs and getting you through a work day.
As were preparing the dinner my son went up to me and said.. Dad, is the motto of the United States of America ... 'EAT OR BE EATEN' ?
You know, if we had to update all the currency we've already printed from 'E Pluribus Unum' to that one, we'd give the counterfeiters a run for their money wouldn't we?
Its six thirty seven
Its dark outside
the birds cycle through their call
we are close enough to the city
their song echoes the blackberry curve
Its six thirty eight
Bounced my box last night
My cat just jumped up on my desk
Its six forty one
I've travelled into the future
The children slowly wake
Today they won't go to school
Mapquest the doctor's place
Load the directions into my head
Its six forty five
My journey continues
I let the kids sleep in awhile
I think of you
I woke at three last night
The bed's too big without you
I turned on the lights
I turned my body to the right
To purposefully lie across the bed
As if to say
What have you done
From the war
I didn't dream of a bed made from a living tree
I dreamt of what would happen to me
I was a passenger
I asked the conductor
What train is this
Where am I going
And he said
You're going to die
Don't you know its d…
All six are healthy and the mother is fine. They are still very small and we have elected , after literally an hour long argument between myself and my daughter - not to name them. I am a believer that naming a kitten or a child should not be a traumatic experience and if it is, just drop it and come back to it. She trenched in and said that we were not going to post any pictures to the net, nor were we going to allow anyone to suggest names. I argued that it would be alright if we posted the kittens to the net, it might help them to find a good home. And further, I said that I am taking the pictures and so, I own them. She argued about this for an hour - back and forth we went, as if uploading a picture of a kitten is the worst thing in the world. At the core of the disagreement was the concept that I was to be allowed to write on my blog - or to make friends with others. This was something that she learned from her mother - she does not want me to write at all.
She thinks its a was…
And yes, it counts if you only login once every year or so.. :) ... This is a fly-through of a Second Life model.. designed by Wizard Gynoid (search for it in there), and its also a glass structure that you can buy - that is in itself based on a three space (read, our world) projection of the E8 group (read: the real universe). I've talked alot about this geometry here. So I thought it would be fun to actually letcha take a look at it. Hopefully we've beaten the chinese to heavy geometry. If so, that means they've got to listen to us talk about surfing and stuff...
E8 Polytope Sculpture from Matthew Fowler on Vimeo. Stuff like this is why I still sometimes login and check things out over there. Well. Ok. That, and there is this girl in there... that I swear I am not stalking. I promise. Honest. No, seriously.
Well ok. She's been telling me to go away now for umm... three years..? It's ok. I made this alt avatar named Devil something... she's not so angry at…
I have a nonprofit that I have been procrastinating to get off the ground - which I will not name here . Today, however, I found a great model for what I want the website to look like (as long as I get to delete the color pink from it).
It's also the name of an interesting charity - with a simple mission statement. The name of the charity is Girls, Inc. and their website is here. What I like about the site layout - and also to be honest, the mission statement and focus of the charity - is the clear direction (a simple, one line idea - to make girls strong, smart, and bold) - its resources and interactivity (take for example, this quiz and see if you pass), and finally the action and ecommerce angles (buy a Tshirt, make a donation, and easily join in any action that is aligned with the nonprofit's goal).
The focus of my charity will be distance learning, focussed to defeating child labor around the world and in India in particular, where a huge number of child labourer…
I am gloating today about news that hit the market regarding Coke enterprises. My kids are in Pepsi, for their stock fund. Its an easy investment call. All I have to do each year is figure out when to buy the stock.
I was sweating bullets because it looks like the economy was turning and I missed the window at the beginning of the year - it was trading at 60.00 a share.. climbing up towards 66/70 ... and for PEP thats a good climb in three months . For some reason commercial real estate still hasn't hit the fan yet / the toxic assets that the banks are holding on their balance sheet are still out there in suspense somehow, and the market definitely started heading into Bull territory. All in all, it looked like I was in bad shape. And this was even worse because I found an old envelope of money and wanted to make a double buy.
Today, Coca Cola announced they beat their profit projections by a large margin and they raised their projections for this year. This will kick the l…
We dream about the things we want to do
The things we want to be
The things I would do to you
The things you would do to me
Or maybe . We can't
Maybe there the dance
Is that we can visualize anything
But the vision that was implanted in my brain
Isn't about what.
It's about who
And you love him
And he loves you
And it drives me on
And gives me the strength I need
to do what I need to do
So lets raise our children
And our fortunes
and our glass
A six poem cycle
The perfect piece of ass
That I will never have
The scary fact about heavy geometry I laid out in the previous post is that if anyone discovers it, its probably going to be the fuckin' Chinese and we're going to have to deal with all their Chinese zodiac shit when it all goes down.
I don't think it means we'll all have to learn to eat with chopsticks but we should probably be careful about all the birth year stuff. I had someone leave on their phone by mistake and make a call out to me when they thought they were texting me. I listened to this micro-party between this one guy, and these two girls, and some type of drink that they were supposed to be drinking (or rather, she was not supposed to be drinking).
If you've read this blog long enough you know that sometimes I just bang something out to put lines between two cool music videos. This is, however, a warning that if we don't get our ass in gear we may end up having to suck up to the Chinese. The Japanese, I can deal with. They're brutal. In …
Genesis 28 tells that at one spot a connection exists between heaven and earth—but also that this connection is normally invisible. Genesis 28 is a transformation of the Babel myth (Gen. 11). According to this myth, mankind was not able to establish a connection between earth and heaven. ... Yet.
We blinded ourselves for days just to see what it was like. To live without sight. And find our way together. Even still. Would it matter if I learned she was dead? What if I found out that you died. Would the connection disappear.
The "Star Husband Tale," is about a war between heaven and earth. Earth beings create a ladder of arrows in order to ascend to heaven. But when they try to escape a counterattack by the inhabitants of heaven, the ladder breaks - disconnecting the two worlds. Creating a dualism. Easy to understand.
There is a temple of god myth- a secret temple - so perfectly built - that is a transformation of the Babel myth, and it whispers that such a connection does …
When I was young, I had a girlfriend who wore alot of black. She looked good in it.
And I loved to be around her, for whatever reason. I was a physics major. She was arts. She took me to museums, art installations, theater. She sang Pink Floyd to me.
We slept together in her top bunk while her lesbian roommate fucked her girlfriend in the bunk below.
Sometimes, things just become clear if you keep following a path that seems the most natural. Questions that children can ask when they're very young. Whether or not you're busying running away from hearing them. We were pretty simple. And raising children can be pretty simple, too.
If you listen to your heart.
Non dual explanations of how the universe came to be... ok.. I mean explanations that things appear distinct, while not actually being separate .. will tell you that you're chasing parked cars. They will tell you you can't understand the beginnings, endings and the nature of existence itself, - that the u…
My daughter is getting pretty heavily into this Anime Series Ginga Densetsu Weed. She hits the episodes off youtube, and watches them in Japanese. She can't read a word of Japanese, so she only watches subtitled episodes.
This is interesting to me, she has developed a highly selective form of taking entertainment. She sees entertainment as a kind of two-way street. She spends alot of time on the internet, but its mostly involved in a sort of intensely creative effort. Her interest in the Wolf Anime Ginga Densetsu Weed - is centered almost certainly on her ability to remember, reconstruct and use these older episodes in a popular AMV channel she has set up that transforms movies into rock video. She likes to listen to Three Days Grace, Linkin Park, and Evanescence. And Yo Yo Ma.
Her Generation had the internet, from day one. And not the kind of Internet that required assembly, care and feeding. She had tailored information feeds, operant and open search technology, streamin…
It's fucking hard to come up with a cycle
for someone you never met before
What do I write about?
No man is an island
Cut from the continent
But what if she looks hot in a French Maid Outfit?
Ok, how about what I did this morning?
I woke up and made breakfast
And helped my daughter get to school
then my son
And listened to the sound of the trees
I cut aspirins into fourths
the jagged edges and dust
smile tenderly like teeth
I popped one
And a fish oil
And a vitamin
And then I said to myself
I'm not Abkhazian
I am not going to live forever
I'd better finish this cycle
So in peaceful dreams I see
the road leads back to you
I have to know if this is a song to my sister
Or a song to my brother
A song to my mother
or to my lover
She's mentally correcting my grammar
No way to know for sure
Unless I cross that line
And write the line
Women are quick to perceive real feelings
Have you ever been in love?
someone stole the life from y…
The ultimate book
has no words
It unfolds from silence
Ave Maria - the harp
then a Violin
And then enjoined
Wave after Wave
to enfold time and space
spiral away from us
and from me to you
and her to him
travel to places
and safely return
we close the cover
to dream what we learn
learn what we love
live where we grow
grow when we play
play who we love
feel her skin
a good poem
is always about getting laid
and ends with a smiley :-) or..
Hún á einn vin, hann býr í næsta húsi
þau eru að hlusta á veðrið
Hann veit hvað margar freknur hún er með
Hún klórar í skeggið hans
What do you mean, I can't get to work on time?
Got nothing better to do.
What do you mean, I don't pay my bills?
Why do you think I'm broke? Huh?
If there's a New Wave -
I'll be the first in line -
But it better work this time.
A stranger in a strange land.
An identity kept for the purpose of discussion
Echoes of a scene from code 46
I long to ask her
to tell me something about yourself
I have not guessed her origin
I have not guessed her password
She keeps her identity safe
She takes care of her husband
Her business and her children
I wonder if she is alone
sometimes like me
One of the moments of my life I tend to remember in a strangely vivid manner - was the time that my wife and I were at the Atlanta airport, and a fellow traveller struck up a conversation with us on our way to India. The conversation turned toward the subject of India. She was a kind woman, and given to dramatic expressions involving her hand. She reminded me of Maude, from the film Harold and Maude.
During the course of the conversation she related to us that "You have not lived until you have experienced the glittering darkness of Kali".
Kali, primarily concerns herself with fate and time. For some reason there is cult centered around her called 'thugee', from which the word 'thug' is derived, by the way - that really enjoys sacrificing virgins to her. Virginity is a highly overrated experience. The types of sacrifices that work best often don't line up with things having to do with awkward high school moments, you know - like drinking vodka, smo…
The surface of the lake forever an arsenal of sky
mirrored surface destroying by touch
a picture flashing by
of a field of flowers blue green yellow high
a million miles a million miles
like some junkie cosmonaut
A million miles below their feet
The flowers grow to the sun
rise up through the street
pierce the metal through the soldiers gun
to her home to the bone
to the weapons that fall to the ground
and spring up as flowers
in a lost field
on a mountain
until the cellphone goes off
human voices detonate
and then we drown
Georgia is a land is distinguished by a unique topography - being one of the most geographically diverse countries in all of the world. Mountains, fields, lakes - and bordering on the Caspian Sea - the country is home to 500 different categories of vineyard, art, music and Galaktion Tabidze. Georgians are well known for their appreciation of art. The place reminds me of California. Except that the land has been continuously inhabited since the stone age. And there is no Hollywood.
The Georgian language, the most pervasive of the South Caucasian languages, is neither Indo-European, Turkic nor Semitic. The present day nation results from the fusion of those who lived there before with immigrants who likely came from Anatolia. For some reason Georgia also reminds me of Rumania. Not sure why.
Then again, this picture reminds me of Jude from Across the Universe.
Georgian cuisine and wine have evolved through the centuries, adapting traditions in each era. One of the…
A small business
An old sweet song
How did you understand healthcare reform?
Did the law go into effect for you?
Did it solve your problem
A song of you
Comes as sweet and clear
As moonlight through the trees
Did you file
the peaceful forms
And at once , begun
to be able to purchase without condition
Peace of mind
I nod my head slowly
Life keeps on going on
How did I miss the final part
As your leader
I assure you
If you disagree with a course of action
but give me the chance to convince you
and I promise you
that no subject will be taboo
that I will sail on
into the dark blue
between the devil and a star
to touch your feet
and play with baby kitties
the house remix version
where you wear your red shoes
on an unpaid invoice
like blood drawn for signature
and at last, use healthcare reform
to saves the part of me
I owe you one
I am not perfect
I am baptized by the acid that leeches flesh from bone
to the shape of th…
The land and the people were truly beautiful
The lake, forest, and flower of the field
The rolling mountains and vineyards
Places of the heart
Near the caspian sea
How do people live to be so young
A hundred years, and beautiful
Eating yogurt and getting drunk
And riding horses without a saddle
How do we live without love
Why are we cruel
What drives us on to perfection
And steals away our soul
That small part of us that thinks we're done
and breaks down at the gate
where hope and love were dashed to the ground
and we met our fate
To pretend not to make a sound
As the priest hears our tale
And praying the rosary
Erasing our doubt
We clean ourselves again
And hope that we have not without
What grows in us within
Emily Orr Writes:
Tb, you're going to have to fact the fact that you have a thing for Bettie Page. Dear Emily.. As an author of a blog whose readership now tops the high two's - and very often, pushing the low three's - I am surprised - nay. Shocked. By this clearly unfounded allegation.
What makes you believe, that I, an impartial and objective man of reason - would have a thing for Bettie Page? Born April 22, 1923 – December 11, 2008 and one of the First Playboy Playmates.. ? Clearly, you are mistaken. I ask you - Where is your evidence, by which you support this casual remark?
Emily, I truly enjoy your blog and I am happy that you are a regular reader of my blog. You are in great company. The three people that read this blog are very lucky indeed - they are riding a wave next generation, twenty first century media interaction wave. Very much unlike Google Wave. I hope. And yet, valued reader - as I write this reply to your comment, I am quietly nodding my head…
Charles Lemos, over at MyDD - writes about the Green Revolution in Colombia today. Its a story that - despite being relatively obscure in the American made-for-entertainment news media - really deserves merit. The five people that read this blog might do well to click on over there and see what he's writing about. I'm going to try to refrain from doing minor injustice to him by giving you my idea on what I think it means to America - based largely on his essay.
America has a natural role in the world - and a role that was built up over 200 years of its history, and a more recent role whose purpose is largely to keep a failing political party alive. A bipolar transition phase under the Bush Republicans has resulted in a fragmented foreign policy. The two roles are distinct.
The first role American enjoys is , as a Beacon for Democracy. We are a country that took the concepts from the French Revolution - and our leaders and founding fathers were men of science and reason a…
All we want is a head rush
All we want is to get out of skin for a while
We have nothing to lose
Because we don't have anything
Anything we want anyway
We used to hate people
Now we just make fun of them
Its more effective that way
This blog takes alot of care and feeding, and to be honest - if I actually had a woman in my life I would probably be doing something else. It is also, however, a personal blog and it follows strict rule that whatever I want to write about, I can. Ok. So. Today I have to make deadline on a few projects that are looming, and I am looking forward to making that deadline by lunchtime tomorrow so that I can celebrate by doing a power lunch. I won't bore you with what I have to get done. Suffice to say that I was up at 3 am last night finishing up. Here's how I'm going to make deadline, and get more things done.
First, I'm going to eliminate unecessary conversation. I will ask myself. Does this convo help me to get what I need to complete - done. If it doesn't. Burn it. Delegate. One of my programmers got hurt wakeboarding. Another is M.I.A. (not the singer) But I am going to track down that guy and see if he can't help me code. If you can delegate. Do so. Don…
We met at a party
I went as a dog
typing at a keyboard
A French Maid
Whose beauty rivalled Bettie Page
Seeing a beautiful woman
Causes your chest to tighten
It becomes hard to breathe
We choke upon our words
Our heart races
But given the chance I happily talk to her
And it feels like flying across the ocean
Smooth seas do not make for strong sailor
A faint heart never won a fair maiden
I do not understand
why a beautiful woman
Stays before your eyes for so long
Even after you close them
Only to find her image to return
In the war between the sexes
Women like Gaikokujin
Hold all the ammunition
Emblazoned on the side of airplanes
that return home
for no reason at all
Missing a wing
or an engine
Coming in for a landing
In a shower of sparks
completing their mission
And making it home alive
to our wives
six miles high
I fought for every breath
clinging to life
returning to earth
and touched her picture
when they pulled me free
from the crash
Long and slow. I did a six mile run yesterday, and I realized that the way I have to make this work - if its going to work at all - is to make it fun. So I stopped about halfway, sat down and watched the sunset.
A big problem with 140-6 training is that it takes up alot of time. I'm not sure how I am going to schedule it. But it felt good at last, to get out and run. So far, I have been either running or biking. But I think I am going to be able to merge them into a six mile/ 20 mile and be able to get all of it done 2 hours a day.
Which in and of itself should be interesting.... how to get that done with two small kids at home... the bike is not a problem. Just bring them along part of the way, and drop them off at their friend's house.
But the run is going to be fun. My son and daughter will bike alongside. Did I say fun? I meant. Fun for them...
This is a computer generated imagery version of a wineglass breaking using Realflow code, rendered with 3D Max Studio and using VRay Glass for the light tracing.
Reason number three why, if Second Life ever gets its act together (collectively, embrace the open source nature of the medium, resolve server issues, stabilize the interface).. it would be a force to be reckoned with. Most of the recent hardware can support this level of rendering (physics engines now come standard on many new graphics cards).
Former Lead Singer of Spit and Snot, Exodus, Jam-80, Cork the Bitch's Arse, Crass, and Flux of Pink Indians - The Goth Band Sorcery, Bad Taste - and The SugarCubes Mother of Two. A Daughter, and a Son. Her father - a Union Leader, and her Mother, a Political Activist. Classically trained.
Everything was clear, and nothing much
the better for it.
They agreed it was a matter of caring, and each felt the dull courage that comes from
They weren't going to bring up Avalon, that shore town where they first met,
or doing ninety
in the country with the top down: these were among the unreachables; emblems
of how they felt
once, about each other and a few lambent afternoons. They leaned back
in their chairs
at the café, neither fully present nor gone, his mind cut loose
from his heart
like a dinghy in cold, still water. And she felt the weight of caring
had been lifted
from her. She felt she would soon know a freedom some of her friends knew,
a hundred options in the bittersweet dark. It was late August. Neither blamed anything
on how the soul idles
in that relentless hum of days. Everything's true, they agreed, smiling;
if something didn't
happen, it certainly would in time. A black fly landed in her hair, and h…
It's more important to me that craigslist remains an open, safe place for people to meet each other without cost - than anything else out there. CL has helped me out in all kinds of ways - so, when I'm around in CL - please understand that I am one of those few people who really is qualified to be a systems admin - and I take my job seriously in giving back to the net what I take.
My daughter is growing up the same way. She doesn't just sit around and download youtube clips. For every hour she watches she creates content equal to that hour. This is the way the internet is supposed to work. She is shipping DVD's of her films off to others to source collaborate with her on her latest work.
I detest the concept that companies exist to try to make you pay them so that you can meet someone and fall in love. We already have suburbia, with its designed zoning to keep you from walking to where you want to go - entire cities sprawled out on the edge of mall megaplexes. Com…
Cats. These four legged minions from the outer circle of hell, are living proof that Lucifer the fallen is a very real being. Why?
Ok. Take my indoor/outdoor cats. Today is a nice, cool - slightly rainy day. What does the cute little kitty cat do? What else? Crap all over the wires under my desk. The smell. Worse than any dead demon. Essence of Satannic gases... Deadly fumes... wafting up through the home office...
Those of you out there that have nice little kitties who use kittyboxes never see this problem. My cats are indoor/outdoor. And when it rains - Ever awakened to the sound of rain in the morning? ... the quiet sound of rainfall just before dawn.. is a telegraphed message to my cats that they must avoid getting .001 ml of water on their fur - and thereby converting my home office into their field latrine.
All cats are crepescular, if you want to catch them at it - you have to rise from your bed and slumber around your house like an undead zombie at 4 am in the…
Our soul is dyed by the color of our thought. - Marcus Aurelius After five years of writing here- I thought it might be fun for everyone if I wrote a handbook to the work here, and maybe some way of everyone to try to make sense of all of this.
Blogstomping is the practice by which a blogger publishes another post on top of a previous post without giving readers a chance to comment. Any perusal of this blog will quickly reveal this to be something of a trend here. Much of what I write here is meant to simply be around after I die. It's ok if one post is followed quickly by another. I can also edit the top post.
Why do I post? Meditation. Equal parts research, spiritual journey, and an acute desire to connect with others around me. It does not take the place of such connection. I am simply highly selective about which connections I allow to form. As such, the purpose of these writings is to help explore ideas. To try to find the meaning behind life, love, art, music, an…