Showing posts from June, 2007

Making things right

I've screwed up a few things in the last few days so here's a post to set things right. First, I wanted to set things right between myself and mistr1ss - here's a magic cocktail napkin that you can take to the bank: Now as best as I can understand it what they're saying is these are biomarkers of early outcome. The basic idea is that if you take a bundle of nerves in brain tissue (microtubules) and just get hit really hard, say, in a car accident or something - theres two ways to go. The bundles either drop to 150 kD , or 120. If they go to 150, which the way I think of it, is like, a rest potential like a voltage or something - then you get better. Unless you drop , there at which point the cells swell and then boom. Accidental death. The other way is to 120, which they can't hold onto and die by committing cellular programmed death. There you go. It took a week, but now I'm semi-coherent. The doctor's name was Joe Tepas. >:) Naturally I have …

iScream youScream

Happy I-day! Today's the day I pick up my new phone. Seriously considering ditching my old phone number because people were always making fun of it. (too many 4's). I've seen and worked with alot of phones. At one point our company built software for them for endpoint / distributed speech but we backed off to server based recognition. With the iPhone we're talking iPod class battery life. Thats important. Most other phones in this class were DOA because of the battery. I think 10 days standby/ 8 hours continuous talk. Ah. If only there were a clean, nice Blog brought to you in amazing Technicolor(tm) that would fit nicely on the screen. I have just been greenlighted to go pick one up, on my way to the forum +da kine+. Hui o' hee nalu. >:) A few snippets of conversation I heard at the stables yesterday - me and the mayor - him: "To get (a particular legislative item done), there will need to be a constitutional amendment. I think they're forming…

World of Warcraft

I am not a gaming afficionado. In fact, I've never played world of warcraft. SL is another story altogether. I do not consider SL a game any more or less than I consider a blank canvas a painting. SL is a tool to enhance human communication. She logs in, and she's got more than handcuffs waiting for her. Big contrast.

Garden State

we live in a beautiful world..

Shill for MyDD

I have been at myDD. for about three years. I I never once wrote a single piece anywhere or commented on any other blog, for the entire three years I've been blogging, except there. Its the best political blog on the net, if you want to look under the hood. I am a political independent; I see political calculus in the light of institutionalized and systematic issues in American representative democracy that have subtracted our ability to cast our lot with any one party. Having lived in NM when Bill Richardson was in congress, seeing what Bill has done for New Mexico, and just in general, liking people who ride horses and lose lots of weight - I am writing my first diary about him. But I am more interested in the thread, honestly , than in attempting some political statement about American politics. I have always taken a keen interest in American political landscapes, however, at heart I am an Anarchist and will never be completely happy with it all until the president of the …

Anger Hurts

Anger comes by way of trigger thoughts. For example, you might think to yourself "I work hard and I expect to be treated right, when I go through that door" on your way in from work to home. And then, as you walk in, lets say, the kid is crying and the spouse is going to sail the little one over to you because he/she/it (she-wolves actually make great wet nurses to bush republicans) will have the similiar set of thoughts like " I took care of the child all day . A good mom/dad/wolf plays with her/his/its child and should be happy to take over for me ". Seneca kicks in with the frustration thing as one set of parental expectations meet another. Both parents expect the other to cover for them. This is contrived. Nobody ever gets really angry when little ones are there to play with. The exercise of finding things to get really angry about is left to the reader. But the subject experience of stress is what loads the trigger thought. I don't get angry much,…

Kittenish / Sicko

Kittenish today. Maybe it's the contrived illusion that I actually have friends. Or that I am tracking on success, or maybe its my extremely cool new brother in law. The guy keeps like a seven minute mile pace or something. We are going to run the Atlanta together. 26.2. So feeling kittenish. Guess we always feel this way three months before the race and no training program. Sicko is going to be worth the ticket. As usual, people are getting rich because America has so much trouble these days. The problem regarding healthcare IMHO is that each healthcare provider places a solid markdown on any particular hospital or doctor. Usually automatically, by diagnosis and procedure code. In fact, i think its a paid position just to call in the codes for ea. patient each day or something like that. Then healthcare provider then does a blanket markdown on the procedure cost - ex. suppose its a biopsy. For one provider, they always mark down 30 percent. Another might mark down 50 percent. …

Sam Alexis Woods Born- 6/18/07

Tiger Woods and his newborn, Sam Alexis Woods. Say it loud. Say it clear. eye of the tiger. toesies of the tiger. its a grrrrl!!

The Chemical Brothers - Elektrobank

all you have to do is .. get angry.

They're on their way to mexico

They're on their way to mexico and I am on my way to the beach after - count 'em FIVE double vodkas (5 fingers). Last night. Almost a half a bottle. I did rather well all things considered... I ended up with the pre-results of an NIH study in my pocket and some cool conversations with an artist in the bar who was building something called holophonic sound.. (says only works with headphones). And I showed a cool magic trick to the senior entertainment editor and writer for - wife of my brothers best friend. She's supposed to head out here and read our blogs for the answer... but i will keep it a secret for a while I'm a good drunk. I dance. I play. I don't do mean stuff. I'm good for another year. Man, what a great way to get drunk though. I was chilling out looking at the slide show and listening to the music in one ear, ipod in the other. That was the first three - It was sublime. Then off to the dance when the bride mentioned whether or not the musi…

A prayer for the girl

get better!:)

The day before the Wedding

I love. love golf. I love it. It keeps me so humble. I just tagged a drive today, I mean - it was flying first class straight down the fairway. And I just yelled F-K YOU!! (cf. Mallory Knox/ Bridge Scene/ Natural Born Killers) at the top of my lungs. It felt so fuckin' good. I mean it that b-tch must've flown 300 yards plus. It was a dividing line for my back nine. My front nine, was not bad. Not great, but fun. The back, I'm playing around - just laughing and kidding and the doubles start creeping onto my card but I'm kidding around - my brother's getting married -what do I care. And then I realize, just before that hole- when one of the foursome in back of us (a guy named jim) almost drove the green on a short 336 yard par four - that its time to start playing golf. I clear my mind, step up to the next tee, and just knock the cover off the ball. It felt so good. So I am completely full of myself on the next tee, despite my uncle's admonishment - and …

Old Haunts

I pulled in last night at two am in the morning. I normally head into town the boring way but this time I decided to go through the old city. By the police station and the dock. There is a new bridge up , and so deep keel sailboats were docked out there. The moss draped over the old oak trees. I was alone at night driving, the road was washed with that sodium arc lamp glow. Everything was quiet. - For the first time in forever, I turn towards my old school and park in the parking lot. Walk the grounds. Its just the same as it always was. The old bell in the center of the square - 1788. Oak trees. Spanish moss. Im westin nicht neuse.It was still. The wind was blowing, just a little cold and just enough to make the leaves stir a bit. The moss every now and then a lifting off the branch and floating there. I made my way to the library where I spent so much time -in the center of the commons I stopped and read a monument that I had almost completely forgotten. Its about six feet high,…

Off to St. Simons

Red Hot Chili Peppers. - My friends. >:)

Hearts and Thoughts

"There is still a difference between something and nothing, but it is purely geometrical and there is nothing behind the geometry." - Martin Gardner - 1956 I've found through long experience that just when your heart seems to break its likely growing. Little ones can work their way into your heart very quickly, and make it grow. Sometimes people say that one can claim more at the expense of another but it is a good indicator of whether or not you're really getting there, if you realize even after the fact that maybe your heart just grew a bit. Later in the day, or whenever. There have been big-hearted people in my life, I have been blessed in that way. And they've always seemed to be not only interested in doing the right thing, or being in the right place at the right time, or helping others or whatever the general philanthropist would otherwise do - but also teaching others how to help and be good. For example, you might be on a trail somewhere and a newbie co…

Blazing the Silver Comet Endurance Trails

These are course layouts for anyone who wants to do a sorta kinda pretty much real Xterra, Ironman, or Triathlon, using the Silver Comet. It uses wildhorse creek trail to connect to a pool that is located within bike distance, and a BMX park for XTerra. Its bike to start, then Swim-Bike-Run. Start: Silver Comet trailhead, (Nickajack) to mile 8.8 / turn onto WildHorse Creek Trail Turn Right: WildHorse Trail, 3.3 Mil to WildHorse Park, (Lancer) turn right and go 1 block to Macedonia, Turn right another block, to Hopkins Rd. Turn Left:Hopkins Road. Stay on sidewalk for as long as you can then stay right. Not much car traffic. total distance from Wildhorse Creek Trail to Pool is 2.1 miles Turn Left: Macland Road. Get out to the right edge of the road. This is a busy highway. Heads up. Turn Left: West Cobb Aquatic Center: Competitive Lanes Open/ Nice Pool / 25 yard (I asked them twice) length on the lane Total Distance to Pool: (aprox.) 14.1 miles from TrailHead , Distance from P…

Les choses que nous faisons pour la musique

C'est réellement mon travail ne disent pas n'importe qui.

My Brother is Getting Married

I will have to head off down to Sea Island this week to go see my brother get married. I have one last chance to save him. Also a confession: even though I had a U2 cover all queued up and approved by the choir director - and had convinced myself that I could do it. I backed out of it - not sure exactly why but glad that I did. I'm not the most religious person in the world, mind you. But going to church on sunday is time well spent. I think my golf game needed to have me down with everyman out there this past weekend. Glad to be there too. In place of the U2 cover I recorded three songs friday evening. I posted them in-world and will use them to help build a music sphere. Play muffled drums. The females have tied one more down. There will not even be a bachelor party. It is now Certain . a clue, to my real last name. Now, Off to the salt mines. Here's place where you can go to make sure its all tax money well spent. I have discovered complete global anarchy but…

Ending an SL Relationship

Yesterday - I experienced my first-ever SL relationship termination. Hurt. She was an attractive girl I met - a newbie, I helped her to find new hair. And left her to her own devices. The next day we played together + after that, we were an item. There was a moment in it all when she's relayed to me that she's PTSD - one never knows, IRL, what is going on with the other person but the important thing is not to care. But she makes it clear, as well, that she's in pain. But first, perhaps - a poet. Violent images in her work. An intense suffering. She said she blacks out and cant remember parts of her life. I leave the tender moment where it is - not wanting to go there. Since I primarily don't care what is going on IRL and am just curious about what you want to do SL, when in SL. So all of this is like an afterimage to me but not really her. We have coffee and go over more of her work. Later that night she makes a mistake and calls me whorish. So, I kick her o…


I'm registered now for two triathlons one in Sept. and the other in August/a sprint and an international. So I keep my USATF ranking. So I'm in for the summer. I hit a good seven minute pace on the run and things are kind of coming down for me where I'm thinking I can do two sub 3 hr international distances (note: one is a sprint, other olympic distance here but i will just put metric on the olympic - pace marks for the other one won't count - I've already done a 2:57 olympic and a 1:23 sprint but the Tugaloo, sub 3 is a big deal - not like the flat race where I posted that number). One thing about triathlon, for what its worth is that it sets your weight down to a new zero. You know how, you like get to a certain weight and then you just stay there no matter what? Tri is one of the few things in the world that sets your weight straight down to another number and it more or less stays there. Another thing is that triathlon, unlike Marathon, can be a really great …

Epiphany - Staind

I am talking to you

You're standing in the street, in downtown hong kong. The ground is clear glass, and I can see below you as well as above. A vending machine dispenses coke, cellphones and iTunes. We pay each other for the privilege of our company; text the code from our bank to do the transfer. I walk up to my atm. It greets me by first name. We listen to music in the elevator. Its NIN on xylophone. Head like a hole, by the Lawrence Welk Orchestra. The sixteenth floor. When the door opens, I remember telling my daughter 25 years ago, that models and actresses normally don't own buildings like these. How I told her there are only two kinds of businesses - telephone companies and banks. How later she explained how bills become laws, to my son. How my son tried to have a law about not eating squirrels because they don't have alot of meat on them. Memories are vivid now. They haunt me like waking dream. I keep myself organized through careful systems laid out over the years despite the fac…

To the Ravenous Katherine the Great

Today the bike will be a plus 20 pace. Fun! So I thought perhaps a missive to the spirit of katherine the great, will guide me and protect me. Here goes.. "Katherine, watch over and protect me. And if you should inhabit me, Please feel free to list your transgressions, in alphabetical order. Each will be exacted punishment as befits, a one to one correspondence that will be strictly kept. Your safe word shall be 'get this horse off me, I'm being killed'. Oh Katherine, rain down your gun kata upon me. I lift up this paperwork and offer to you my service. And my heart. May we never drink vodka except to clean the wound. Nor suffer the company of anyone who cannot hold their own. I ask your special blessing upon suburbia, white picket fences, and blue velvet. Give me the length of rasputin, the girth of a samurai and the endurance and stamina, of your favorite horse. In your name I call forth your spirit. To hang with me at the stables. And drink warm beer. And pla…

I have here on my desk..

I have here on my desk the portfolio of a young woman, approximately 20 years of age. She is quite attractive. Her interests are in modeling and acting. The elements of her portfolio include a study in red, some outside shots, a chinese dragon lady (black wig) and a few soft focus shots, as well one sequence in a victoria's secret teddy , soft dark beige and blue. Sort of seventies colors on the teddy, actually. We discussed possible work, and she and I played out the S+M bar scene in "the matrix" where trinity first meets neo , opening sequence. She said she does better with eye contact. I required her to look away. Its the sequence in which neo must ask the right question. - do you know the question? She did well. It took about 10 tries. - I was just listening for the low breath group that trinity uses. The way she drops her voice, like someone getting ready to pull off a shot. It finally worked out. She'll be doing the voice of a simple IVR. So the rest of…

Every Day is Exactly the Same

So a brief moment of happiness in my life, washed away. Thank god for lawyers. Without their unique ability - my technicolor acid washed view of the world would be thrown into vivid color. Two lawsuits to deal with, both petty (a lease that was signed under duress then forcibly enforced, and a minor (10k) debt acct. to restructure). Oh yeah and the threat of a lawsuit from my competitor. But, I get to enter his communication into the public record if he does. Fun day. For nearly all my life I lived almost completely upon the basis of reason. I hate to say it but I admire and respect lawyers, and I can see their point of view. I just have to add that the perspective one almost always gains from them, is even more cynical than my own. So its a great way to get back to reality after yesterdays so-called "good mood". Well today all is not lost. I think I won the name that firearm contest over at Airborne Combat Engineer today. I don't think I have the caliber right, b…

A good mood

Alright Now I am in a very good mood. Which bothers me. Because I don't like moods. I like callerID. Who knows. Maybe its time I become a little bit more human again. What was that latin saying - "Anything to get to lunch". Let it be known that I am really in a very nice mood. Frisky. But serious. Ride at six, run at 7. Lets do this thing. Sub Six minute mile. I used to pace my 5k sub six minute miles. I can do this. Update: 6/13/07. Alright I'm Mellow Cat. Yesterday evening was a trip. Hail rained down on me last night. I rushed to get to the stables but I couldn't make it. We had to take cover. The storm moved in, in less than 10 minutes. I stood there under the eave of the Freemason's lodge with two other men - a dodge and an SUV and my car sheltered from the quarter and nickel sized hail breaking windshields and denting everyone up. One fellow was a hillbilly, the other from Jamaica (welcome to Atlanta) - who had never even seen hail before (*!)…


It just hit me today that I have no idea what foreplay is. It was a real revelation. I mean, maybe a long time ago I remember it. But all of a sudden I just realized that whatever I did know about it I've probably forgotten. Wow. Man. I wonder if there's some place I can go to , to learn things like cuddling and foreplay and that kind of thing. As a CEO I am so used to the way they do it in business. (with no apologies to incubus) .. And if you let them fuck you
There will be no foreplay
They're gonna fuck you
Till your ass is blue and gray
There is nothing wrong with me that the sub six minute mile will not fix. This I know. I will get that mother down and then all else is on the table. Today at sunset. Steep hills. Sub six. or die. Probably an equal chance of both. Will they play NIN in a zero G honeymoon suite ?

The Dream

Language doesn't seem to be taught by formal education. Every parent seems to believe that their kid will speak, and seems to be able to draw out, without any real formal plan. They certainly dedicate themselves to the task, active listening. For both tone, and word. I wonder sometimes what it means to be a good parent, to bring out the giftedness in each child. Their different learning styles. How do we adapt and help them to grow. One thing is certain. Raising children has an endpoint. Kids. The good dream.

Son: "I'd like to thank the nobel committee for awarding to me this prize for .."
Daughter: "As president, It brings me great pleasure to report the colonization of mars.. "

And then... the bad dream.

Son: "Would that be Paper or plastic, sir? .."
Daughter: " Doctor, will you loosen these straps please?"

Tri - Again.

Triathlon has taken a major hit. I have spent the last week and a half in sleep dep. And charted out the wonders of the seven minute mile on every run. But the six eludes. I neither run, with any frequency - Nor bike. So my damn goals are not being met at all. And I am getting fat and slow and thick and boring. One of these days I will kick it up into gear again. Not today. I have a business that needs to go out of business without me. And a life that needs seriously to get a kick in the pants. Why is it that the important stuff never gets done? What is wrong with me? Responsibilities, human and professional - draw me and frankly I am beginning to wonder precisely what kind of person I really am. Why is it that I can make time for things like pondering how cool Bill Richardson would be , if he were to be president. On the plus side I finished something for a church in Atlanta. (assumes voice of bill murray/ caddyshack): So I have that going for me. >:) I won another minor …