Showing posts from May, 2009

Home - Live at Glastonbury - Zero 7

Passing By - Zero 7

I dont think
you love me
setting in

Theres no question
that I love you
but I'm living in
my own time

But here I am
whether I'm wrong
or right

am I
To make a judgement of
your life?

I'm only
Passing by (passing by)

All the promises I gave you
helped me
to survive
and all the times I wish
you'd say to me
You're the love
of my life

am I
to make a judgement of
your life?

Moonlight Sonata - 3rd Movement (Sick!)

Moonlight Sonata - 2nd Movement

Moonlight Sonata, 1st Movement - Beethoven

For Ms. Holloway

In a way
we all
keep rare flowers in our office
cut them back
feed them
turn them to the light
breathe poison into them
and they return oxygen
light presence
and other semi-permanent marks

Just for kicks
I seem to recall
red pens
onto an empty passengerside
I wondered if
I should stop
Think about
the glancing blow that landed too hard
the one I got
from my best friend
the drops
one by one
falling on the shore
of a lost weekend

What goes on in that head of yours, Ms. Holloway?
six cuts up your leg
you am more alone
than anyone can say

Yes I was into posting record lyrics
no I wasn't looking for paint it black
I was looking for Gimme shelter

You're fired.

One more thing
The next time you remove
from these rare and beautiful things
that which moves beneath the surface
killing it
an pinning it to an office memorandum
I will ...

And thats when it hits
I don't like it.

What. Goes. On. Inside. That. Head . Of. Yours ? Ms. Holloway

See me in my office.

Rope Model Needed

I need to document an innovative tie. Work will be slightly dangerous. No personal or identifying information will be required, simply the ability to execute a few simple ties and then send the photography back to me for purposes of illustrating a new, fast release tie. No chickens please.

Best Practices of Home Office Workplaces

Alligator Pool Toys: When,and not if, are presented with a giant translucent green alligator pool toy to blow up, while you are working at your home office on a very important proposal , simply do the following: Place alligator across arms. Assume proper position on the keyboard resting fingers on home row and alligator pool toy across the forearms. Grasp alligator valvestem with your teeth Bite. Holding the Alligator in Place with your teeth. Blow. ..And make sure your proposal doesn't suck. Give then-inflated, giant, green-translucent pool toy to strangely diminutive office denizen (worker?) who will shriek with joy, take off to another part of your professional workplace where he will proceed to jump on it. Note striking similiaries between these actions and those observed at your in-town office.


The Arm Doesn't Bend Outward.
The Zen Koan - Asaki + Fuller. p.140, Six Character Sayings

Every Day is Exactly the Same - NIN [AMV]

Paint it Black - M. Jagger/ K. Richards

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

I see a line of cars and they're all painted black
With flowers and my love both never to come back
I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
Like a new born baby it just happens ev'ry day

I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door and it has been painted black
Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts
It's not easy facin' up when your whole world is black

No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue
I could not foresee this thing happening to you

If I look hard enough into the settin' sun
My love will laugh with me before the mornin' comes

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my …

So Cold - Breaking Benjamin

Coming to terms with the Year of the Horse

The genesis of this blog was a sort of review of Thomas Mann's letter to the academics of the University system in Nazi Germany, asking them to consider what precisely why they were destroying the traditions and intellectual character of the land he loved - and replacing it with the myth of the Aryan nation. And perhaps some of my best writing has been political in nature. I think the myDD guys liked some of the stuff I did, writing about JFK. Recurrent themes are the connection of kink to the origin of life (molecular driven networks) with specific focus on communications (something I saw once, on the dark ocean. will get back to this I promise). And yes, one day I'm going to add a study of the Parajano in Brazil to that line. Those guys who have that exceptional structure. You don't know them yet. And they don't want to know you. Lucky you've got me, right? Please believe me when I say I just write whether I'm going to get laid for it or not. Its my way …

Dick Cheney on Iraq

Then Secretary of Defense.


I like this blog (linked to picture above / on Bioephemera), because I'm a science guy, and because the person who writes it turns me on.

Old Man - Neil Young

Caring is Creepy - The Shins

I think i'll go home and mull this over
Before i cram it down my throat
At long last it's crashed, it's colossal mass
Has broken up into bits in my moat.

Lift the mattress off the floor
Walk the cramps off
Go meander in the cold
Hail to your dark skin
Hiding the fact you're dead again
Underneath the power lines , seeking shade -
far above our heads are the icy heights that contain all reason

(It's a luscious mix of words and tricks)
That let us bet when you know we should fold
(On rocks i dreamt of where we'd stepped )
And of the whole of the mess of roads (we're now on)

Hold your glass up, hold it in
Never betray the way you've always known it is.
One day i'll be wondering how
I got so old just wondering how
I never got cold wearing nothing in the snow.

This is way beyond my remote concern
Of being condescending
(All these squawking birds won't quit).
Building nothing,
(laying bricks)

"Wisdom is found only in truth&q…

Steppin' Out - The Andrews Sisters

We planted flags on the graves of soldiers this morning. It was a very old cemetery. The children don't really understand. Later today we ran into my daughter's orchestra conductor. He was in the video store with a dark eyed woman. I shook his hand and asked him where I could find a Cello. He offered us one of his, that my daughter might use for the summer to practice. She got a perfect 100 on her music this year, and played first Cello for the orchestra. Her best song is John Williams "Air, and Simple Gifts" based on a shaker song of a similiar line. Cello always sounds so sad. I hope she doesn't take life too seriously. There were a lot of graves there in the Cemetery that didn't have any names on them. Fallen. Unknown soldiers. A stone in the ground with a number and the word - adult. Happy Memorial Day.

Sonnet 130 - William Shakespeare

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damasked, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress when she walks treads on the ground.
  And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
  As any she belied with false compare.

For the romantic in everyone

Climb - Miley Cyrus

Woods / Sunday Stats for Lead

Did you know that Tiger Woods is 14-0 when he has the lead on Sunday? That is, if Woods is leading after 54 holes, he has won every. single. time. ...
Peace. love. and Tiger.

Praise You - Fatboy Slim

If you can read this message, you're too close!

1950's Narrator

I'm a Narrator
My voice sounds like its from the 1950's

I'm hear to tell you
your horoscope
when the blue light is flashing
everything in the store
is 50 percent off

This is where I live
in Aisle Six
right next to the mittens
and the lawn chairs
Nobody notices me here at night
A person with a criminal record
sweeps the floor, at times
I've heard him shout 'Please!'
as if its an expletive
(chuckling noise)
* nods his head *
I'm a sound sleeper

I'm here to say
anything that needs to be said
with Slack
or in a really subgenius kind of way
Just because my voice is so authoritative
and warm
and friendly
You almost want to trust me, without ever seeing me

I take a shower with the handsoap
and toilet water
and paper towels
Nice and clean
Smile for the Camera

I live off hostess twinkies
and devil dogs
and leftover cartons of milk
and ho-hos.

There's the blue light flashing
and it looks like the virgin madonna of shopping has arrived

Don't for…

The River - Enya / LOTR [AMV]


A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked,"What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move." " Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?" "That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie." "Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?" St. Peter responded,"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life." "Where's Dick Cheney's clock?" asked the man. "Cheney's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."
I was a republican, once..just once.
- from my life as a princess

Lords of Dogtown

I get my board today. W00t


I am a waste of electrons, water, air and food
I am boring, worthless, flaccid, insane
I am a parasite

My work is of the lowest quality
I add nothing to society
My lifestyle is sterile
My car is a mess

I am overweight, soft around the middle, graying
I have a small cock
I am unethical, fawning, clingy, obsessive compulsive
I have a black heart
shrivelled up balls
flabby sides
yellow teeth
bloodshot eyes

I breed disease
In relationships
I will find the center in you
I will chew it up and leave

I am a bad father
DFACs has come to my door
I have beaten my wife repeatedly. Made her bleed
I have thrown her in the shower and slapped her around

I have destroyed value in companies
Taken money from investors and never returned it
Promised sales that never arrived
Spent company cash personally

My career is a worthless hodge-podge of half finished jobs
every piece of software I ever wrote is either
or thrown away
My skillset is ancient.

I run slower than a herd of fertile turtles

Harder Better Faster Stronger - Daft Punk


Dick Cheney freed from his concrete bunker corner office has of late been on a speaking tour where in low hushed tones he will tell you how the 100 days of change.. is all a part of a 15 year plan to end American Free Enterprise. How does a Junior Senator from Illinois get elected President? There must be WMDs somewhere.. we should lauch pre-emptive self defence.. their evil plan becomes more transparent each day... they're after you.. don't let the smoking gun be the mushroom cloud .. you get it. Like setting energy policy by Enron, contracting Haliburton, and cooking up fake excuses to push American into a 200 billion dollar war - its part of his plan to 'help' the GOP. Nothing wrong with conservatism, but Bush Republicanism is exacerbating a serious wound that needs to heal. As Cafferty pointed out this week, Cheney and Bush are really just deserving to be punished for an amazing list of openly questionable and treasonable actions during their tenure. Their …

Fire and Rain - James Taylor

This is abouta phone.

(by my Son)*

First a phone can help call
other people . A phone can also connect.
Next you can order things with it.
You can order pizza with it .
Last, you can have it for a buisness.
You can need it for alot buisnesses.
That told you about a phone.

* ~age 7

The Battle

(by my Daughter *, based on work of Erin Hunter)

A half moon glowed,
On smooth granite boulders,
Turning them silver.
The silence was broken,
Only by the ripple of water;
The whisper of trees,
In the forest beyond.
In the shadows,
There was a stirring.
From all around,
Crept dark, stealthy shapes.
Unsheathed claws glinted;
Wary eyes flashed.
As if on a silent signal,
The rocks were alive,
With wrestling, screeching cats.

* ~age 10

Do you get it?


(Still) Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - Negativland

SSFW Guide to Kink Theatre

Yes its with the "e" at the end, because this is a sophisticated blog. * holds out his right pinky as he sips tea - slightly raised eyebrow*. Welcome, Colorless Reader.. Today, colorlessness brings you , in technicolor - Slack! But no ordinary dose of slack. Today, I give you.... sound of drum roll...... The Slightly Safe for Work Guide to Kink Film. Selected today because.. I am a horny bastard (see... 'Tokyo Nights')Its all part of a Mad Science ExperimentLooking deeply into space, we have found .. Betty Page I will let you decide , as you will. You are here. And I am here...And that makes two of us. (Ok, ok, slightly more than two. I'm banking that my google advertisers are still working through the 1, 2, many.. counting system). So, without delay Feel free to run your hands all over my 11 inches long by 8 1/2 inches wide .. printed out list of movies that explore connectivity between human beings. You know. The kind that doesn't.. require ...…

Amazon / Run

Gonna take a walk
with the sister of the moon
and the pale light in
to fill up your room

you've been living underground
eating from a can

you've been running away
from what you don't understand

she's fair
sliding down
she beat me
into the ground

its alright
she moves
in mysterious ways

Gonna take a dive
with your sister in the rain
when I talk about the things
you can't explain
to touch is to heal
to hurt is to steal
if you wanna kiss the sky
better learn how to kneel
on your knees gurl

she's the way
she turned the tide
and the worst is
she knows why

One day you will look back
And you'll see
Where you were held
How? By this love
While you could stand there
You could move on this moment
Follow this feeling

It will Make you run like an amazon

U2 / Mysterious Ways.

The Only Living Boy in New York - Garden State / Simon and Garfunkel [AMV]

Year of the Horse

People born in the Year of the Horse are popular. They are cheerful, skillful with money, and perceptive, although they sometimes talk too much. The are wise, talented, good with their hands, and sometimes have a weakness for members of the opposite sex. They are impatient and hot-blooded about everything except their daily work. They like entertainment and large crowds. They are very independent and rarely listen to advice. They are most compatible with Tigers, Dogs, and Sheep. :-/


Fundamentalist Debunks The Bible

From the CNN Article - "Former Fundamentalist Debunks The Bible" about a biblical scholar named Bart Ehrman. Bullet points. 19 of the 27 books of the New Testament are forgeries. And there are contradictions in the New Testament.. In the first book of Corinthians, Ehrman says, the Apostle Paul insists that women should remain silent in church (1 Corinthians 14:35-36). Sorry gals..In the 16th chapter of the book of Romans, Paul's writes that women could and should be church leaders and they were serving as deacons and apostles in the early church. The resurrection stories contradict each other. Whether or not Christ was the Son of God, is not based on anything Christ or his Apostles actually said. .. ?Heaven, and Hell, are also not based on anything Christ or his Apostles actually said. This is a bit easier to track down. And all. Much more than this... ?
I got it on ... Ebay.. there's no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole. :-)

Renaissance Faire 2009

Ye Olde Rainaissance Faire deliveres thee goods. We had a blast. Got most of what I wanted to get done over the weekend, so instead of buying that longboard I wanted, I took the kids out for a good time. Someone dropped their VISA Platinum Card - If I chose to commit fraud I could have gotten away with it - I enjoyed not doing it. I finally gave it to a cop. It was like having the devil in my pocket, trying to jump out. A fun situation if you're at a Renaissance Fair The Beef Jerky Vendor, selling long sticks of beef was pretty funny .. "Get my meat and put it in your Mouth!" he would shoult. "Thirteen inches!" - Alot of moments like that in places like these. Enjoyed it. Kids were kind of off the wall at first, then they calmed down and got into it. Always have to break that commercialism. My youngest acted out for a while but he really liked watching the guy do tricks with the whip, and it was good for a little boy to get a chance to shout back to the guy…

What I'm going to do today.

I had a blower motor burn out on me a few weeks ago. I'm going to take apart my AC and see if I can fix the motor. Outside, the external unit is going when you cut on the AC but inside the fan just slows down and eventually dies so its pretty obvious its the motor thats the issue. There's this thing that looks like a battery pack on the side, that has two same-color wires leading into it. I learned thats the capacitor. I am not sure exactly how it works with the fan, but I replaced that, hoping it would help - it didn't. This repair is going to take guts. I will likely spin the motor unit off with allen wrenches then just stare at it until I figure out what to do. Hopefully I will be able to find pretty standardized parts. One thing that really kills projects like this , is when you run into proprietary parts. Thats why I am going to buy a Tesla and not a Ferrari. Almost everything on the Ferrari is made in Italy and tricky to get replaced - cars like that can be a r…

In Your Eyes - Fifth Element [AMV]

Toilet Cleaning Instructions

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet --the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'power-wash and rinse.'

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can and quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean
for Masokat, and yes, its a plan....

.... And this Chair.... (Part II)

Being I am now an adult, and I have successfully travelled through the breeding cycle and produced a beautiful girl and a boy (that is starting out way earlier than me, he's got three girls in his second grade class who have said they're going to marry him?! and one that calls him every day ? wtf!? ) .... I'm spending suspiciously budding-author-like amounts of time writing and developing my prose... and when I am writing or coding or doing my research the world disappears. But to continue the thread, and for contrast - as a man, once child - here are the things I really want. A new computer. I have worn out two keyboards on this thing, replaced the graphics card and the disk is now failing slowly. I will probably get this thing. I will not get Vista. Windows 7 or die. A Red Epic (warcraft! epics, baby!) - An American made movie camera founded by my cousin's former employer , Jim Jannard. It shoots a better image than a 200 pound IMAX camera. This is the …

.... And thats All I Need ... ( Part I )

Ok, backing up a bit - I was the kind of student that twice tested out of grade levels and twice screwed it up. So I decided to trace my attack on failure back to the first and second time in my life I truly failed. You might think that , academically making the cut to knock two entire grade levels off your resume at the age of eight or ten or whatever - is a measure of success. Its not. Florida's school system was pretty advanced, when I was going up through grade school. But it the decision to send you in for the test was left to the teachers. Unlike, of all things, the small town in Georgia where I spent fourth grade, my third grade didn't have an accelerated program. The best way to deal with testing out of a grade is to get a kid into an accelerated program and then if they sky that, test them. Also, in all fairness, the second time I tested out was sort of a mulligan that my mom had set up with the school - she had no idea that what she thought was the advanced pr…


At 12:30 pm, 5/14/09 my Cat "Lilo" just gave birth to a healthy litter of kittens. Her brother "Stitch" was out with a severely infected foot, his back foot blew up like a balloon. Likely, the attempted shave of Stitch's leg and lancing of the super-hyper enlarged area (I swear his foot looks like a balloon) - or should I say attemped lancing (I got the scissors , and cut in, drained a little- but not the abscess - his foot is misshappen, swollen and critical) ... probably triggered her labor. Stitch was yowling in pain. At least, I'm thinking that happened. Can screams of pain trigger the birth process? Do pregnant mothers give birth if they are in stressful situations? I was just about to lie down on my very big and very empty bed, an english four-post .. when I heard this mewing + I looked around. Ok. The cat wants to come in.. dragged myself to the door. No cat. Hmmm.. Checked the backdooor. No cat. So I laid back down and there it was again. The…

Wicked Game

I don't understand quite how I blew this fuse but right now I'm a mass of worthlessness. I haven't gotten anything useful done all day except for some stupid financial stuff and a boring firewall problem. And um. Some mail stuff. But thats it. I have a fucking 600,000.00$ project / a way to get even with the world.. sitting on my desk , all I have to do is file the effing report. Its all cash in the bank. Safe money, the Customers are secure. I would be made. What is wrong with me? Why can't I get this thing done. I do the craziest things to try not to work on it. When I start the work I have flashbacks. Its almost as if its a game, my life is coalescing around something. My work, life, kink - whatever - you name it all coming to a single statement. Something that makes it all worthwhile. And I'm terrified of it. Its a game. I know that. But its a game I don't know if I can play. I am fighting serious urges to liquidate my account, drop all my real…

Mexico - Incubus


How about I write a love letter
and fill it with explicit instructions
to tell you precisely what to do, to respond?

But thats not the way things worked out
I worshipped the ground you walked upon
maybe puppy love I was 8 years old
was it six miles or three, to your door
I always turned around and walked home

If the Teacher handed out an "A" it was mine or yours
like Karl Friedrich Gauss on a holiday , whatever number I wanted
Yeah, I'm going to be a poet
so fuck testing out of the second grade
I make the numbers do what I want
I wanted to make you do what I want
but you had other plans

I still remember how your teeth showed when you laughed
I remember how in Little League I went back for a catch
beware the hun in the sun
said the message from the stars

We laughed at the dumb coach who asked
Maybe we should we put on a cast
Yeah the same coach who spent all his time yelling at his son
who always seemed to be the one to played third base

So I quit little league a…

Obama Administration's Healthcare Plan

Yesterday the administration that ran on a platform of universal healthcare announced that a group of insurance companies will cut healthcare costs 1.5 percent. Does anyone else besides me feel.. underwhelmed? Small businesses need decent healthcare packages, they're really unbelivably expensive to buy for the small group configurations - and god forbid if one of your members should not fit the actuarial profile. The whole concept of the extension of the Federal Employees Health Benefit plan was that these individuals can join a larger group and keep their premiums down. A weak, and unviable public option - in terms of cost to public.This is a hugely telling sign that the lobbyists have been at work. The majority of the problems our economy has faced have related to price fixing. They're at it again, this time rigging the price that would be offered - so that there is no real difference between what would be proposed and what you would buy on the street. Joe Six Pack …

Evanescence - Serenity [AMV]

A poem

I don't understand you, Oppie
said Paul in Solvay,
Science tries to explain things we've never understood before
in ways that everyone can understand
And poetry tries to explain things everyone has understood
in ways that no one can understand..?

Ok. I can buy that. So. Lets see ...
First, a little bit about me.

I have a pretty multithreaded multitasking way of checking mail
I fire off a browser
and hit webmail as while I background the client
Free to send and receive

The disembodied voice
of Andrei Codrescu
keeping me company
as thousands of mail come in
reading and non-reading
words meant to convey
I will never open them.
my inbox
an exquisite corpse

Over here on my desk 2010 Calendar
of some money shots of great Pussy
by Rachael Hale
Aye, Soft and helpless. They are.
Their mother kept them alive
just long enough for their photo to be taken
I guess when they get older, and more fleabitten
I can put them in my attic occasionally to kill all the squirrels

Sheep - Pink Floyd

Happy Mother's Day :-)

Bearer of Light

Light unborn
hitchhiked the way across the usa
plucked his eyebrows on the way
shaved her legs and

she drinks good coffee
every morning
that comes from a place
far away
and if he lives
till she can longer
climb his stair

he'll never get born
without you

bearer of light
bring to the world
laughter still ringing
in my ears
yes two forms of being

the smell of wet dogs and rotten garbage
nature was the static
human was the noise

and fooled the almighty father
to give his only begotten stone

fed to him by taking a part of yourself alone
moved into the center of our orbit of our eyes
your beautiful form and curving weight and thigh
the soft touch and the gentle dark heart

And one by one the stars went out
then all of us
yet unborn
heard the cry

Let there be light

and there was

Baba O'Riley - The Blue Man Group

Fun things to do with a society

Every played 'civilization' or 'sim city'? I did. They fanged me when I was in college. I have somehow escaped 'spore' but I think thats largely due to the fact that there are so many issues with how 'spore' gets things off the ground. If you're going to go all the way with a sim, go all the way. I might play warcraft again in about 10 years or so when level 100 is the top level (you know it will be) and the sim lets the characters have sex with each other. FOR THE HORDE!! Ok so. Screw those games. Lets do something with a real society. Lets start things off with a largely nomadic, cave man culture and brings it down into a low maintenance , high food yield agrarian based economy. Add some free time. Ok.. so starting from cellular level (Amber Dalton you have atomically fucked me over, I will get even with you one day..) ... cripple off an X-chromosone, presto! little babies more prone to sickliness. How to keep the smaller, weaker…

Take A Chance on Me - ABBA


What's the definition of kink? I feel its the consensual exploration of brutality, and/or erotic sensation. So. First, consensuality. Its the number one rule. Consensual play means the person knows what they're getting into, agrees, wants it, etc. It also means that if you have a wife, or a boyfriend, you tell him what you're doing. Adultery is non consensual sex play. The wife is being forced to endure the sexual fantasy of the husband - or vice versa - a living fantasy that involves, as part of the thrill - an element of risk that the affair will be discovered. I define an affair as any ongoing relationship, that involves two people in an intimate and emotional bond. I do not, for example, see a man jumping in bed with a hooker in Las Vegas as effectively having an affair on his wife. The hooker will remind him that she's got to be paid. This kind of thing is essentially exploring your own personal fantasy life. Not unlike masturbation, any encounter which …