Fun things to do with a society
Ok so. Screw those games. Lets do something with a real society. Lets start things off with a largely nomadic, cave man culture and brings it down into a low maintenance , high food yield agrarian based economy. Add some free time.
Ok.. so starting from cellular level (Amber Dalton you have atomically fucked me over, I will get even with you one day..) ... cripple off an X-chromosone, presto! little babies more prone to sickliness.
How to keep the smaller, weaker babies alive ? With Ms. Amazon standing there before you .. its pretty hard to rationalize a weak, sickly creature being left anywhere other than the foot of mount Tagytus. Hi hon.
I know. Lets start a cock worship cult. All opposed, please raise your cock.
And Venus of Willendorf becomes a pole minx! Yay. Ok so now we've got male priests, oracles whose left and right brain gets pretty well disconnected, and the type of prophecies are completely off the wall and worship is fun again. Especially the kind of worship Poleminx is into ...!
Ok, so boring. Culture and learning leaps forward. Tools are created. Guns. Germs and Steel. Instead of roaming all over the tundra, men are discovered out in the pasture with sheep. Instead of doing it with their hands, women are discovered at home being left to their devices.. and what wonderful devices they are.. Before you know it they're painting on the walls how wonderful it would be , to be as fast as a gazelle. As strong as a lion. When its your job to pleasure two women at once, you wish for things... blowing an image of your hand on the wall isn't just telling the world you want a handjob ... its an image of your hand clawing the wall as they pull you back into bed.
Control is a fun thing, but that society is still pinned down by territory, and climate and so on. The middle east rainfall pattern is changing. War is the best answer. And with it, the cult of the warrior messiah. Rome rapes and pillages the lands on their way down to Egypt. And then takes the spoils on their way back up. And so arises a figure whose very essence projects lurve. The warm, fuzzy kind of lurve and peace that radiates cold shafts of broken glass straight into his own hands and pinned up onto a symbol for all to see. That the pleasures of the world be denied - your kingdom isn't here.
The mask of Plotiny, the shift of art from an exploration of human forms and biology - to an afterlife - works well if you want to get some more abstract reasoning off the ground. And so for about three or four centuries, the undisputed cock of the walk is a guy who would fear to step on ants because they're gods creatures too.
Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Back and forth between the warrior ideal and the priest ideal for six or ten generations or so, until everyone is completely destabilized. Then you bring in mechanized warfare. And you wipe out nearly a third of every male child on the planet. Its always more fun than throwing them off Mount Tagytus. Never mind that the machine gun is really pretty awful at hitting single targets, doesn't require much hand eye coordination to dump 200 rounds into a crowd of nazis.
This is important because the ones you have to worry about, are the ones who can shoot the wings off a firefly at 200 yards. The ones that are stationed just over there, just out of sight of your window. But we'll get to that in a second..
So. What happens next? Killing off that many, really was kind of over the top. What can you do with a society, once you've sacrificed its male children - you don't want to go back to that venus of willendorf thing. Right? Better to cover your tracks. Give them a scientific theory that has absolutely nothing to do with their daily lives. But tells them about this wonderful world they could have, if only the science made it to application. E = mc squared. Go back in time. Aww... there's little billy still playing in the field. Its ok, mom. You don't have to cry now.
Just get back to work.
Because at this point, if you stopped working - the fields wouldn't produce your supper automatically. No. You would starve. At this point your society needs a 24 hour feed to keep going. Which brings us to current date.
Here are some fun things to do with a society
- First, make sure people only get married once. can't have too many kids around. Nevermind that Bible-thing is full of references to plural marriages, you want them to be manageable.
- Next, make sure they are in a constant state of fear. Homeland security level? Its never going to be green. Ever. You learned from the last wars, that constant war keeps them where you want them. This works esp. well with evangelicals so if there isn't a war around, make one up for them. Make them fight their fellow countrymen. Just give them some sort of flag to wave and greater cause to give their life for. So they don't think too much about where their life is right now
- Make sure people are isolated. Make it so that their children, and neighbors - can't go meet each other for coffee. No. Wait. Make it so they drive to some place to go have coffee. And if there's a website where they can meet each other for free, make sure it gets shut down. We want them to pay to meet each other.
- Keep them rich enough to be able to lose their home even if they're working 50 hours a week, but just poor enough to finance trillions of dollars of bailout cash.
- Set up a website that makes it so they don't think anymore. Anytime they want to remember something, make it so that all they have to do is remember just a few words of whatever it was, and then look over the thoughts of everyone else on the planet. This way, the kind of painful search for real knowledge can become a quest for buzzwords. Sort of like 'quest for fire' but with more dumb caveman around.
- Cheat at scrabble! If the only 45 point double word score on the board, is Apzteryzx ! Just invent one. Drop some Endocrine Inhibitors in the Water Supply, and in a few short breeding cycles a half male, half female Apzteryzx is walking the earth, breathing air through its new gills that function as lungs and oxygen rebreathers
- Consolidate the financial markets so that the players are bound by international law and practice to be effectively linked to one another.
Then crash the markets and watch them all scurry around all over everywhere. Don't crash them too hard , though - because depression will shock them back into reality again. Just have alot of fun, watching them wave their arms up in the air.
Wow. Look at that one over there.. Looks like we sent that one all the way back to Vermont from Washington DC... I know.. lets get him drunk and see what he does next. Here you go pal. This is for my thirsty friend...
Oh. One other thing. Give them little devices that make it so they don't talk to each other, even if they're standing right next to each other. Give them things to stick in their ear that let them talk to people 700 miles away. Hell lets make long distance free, so they can talk to people 12,000 miles away. Why not? Don't forget to seal off their ears, too.. so they can walk into traffic and not hear the sound of an oncoming truck.
... And then everyone gets hit by a Giant Peterbilt. The End.
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