Useless

I am a waste of electrons, water, air and food
I am boring, worthless, flaccid, insane
I am a parasite

My work is of the lowest quality
I add nothing to society
My lifestyle is sterile
My car is a mess

I am overweight, soft around the middle, graying
I have a small cock
I am unethical, fawning, clingy, obsessive compulsive
I have a black heart
shrivelled up balls
flabby sides
yellow teeth
bloodshot eyes

I breed disease
In relationships
I will find the center in you
I will chew it up and leave

I am a bad father
DFACs has come to my door
I have beaten my wife repeatedly. Made her bleed
I have thrown her in the shower and slapped her around

I have destroyed value in companies
Taken money from investors and never returned it
Promised sales that never arrived
Spent company cash personally

My career is a worthless hodge-podge of half finished jobs
every piece of software I ever wrote is either
obsolete
or thrown away
My skillset is ancient.

I run slower than a herd of fertile turtles
When I run a Marathon, I am lucky to come in 2,003rd
My times are almost always nearly last

I have whored myself out to chicks
and I am an unfaithful, thankless husband
My wife is totally right
to have kicked out the windshield of my BMW

I am hollow and cold inside
A worthless provider for my family
I can barely keep food on the table and the lawn cut
I spend hours pretending to be someone I am not

I am growing more and more stupid as time goes on
Yesterday someone gave me a sequence
I looked it up on google
And pretended that I solved it
I am a worthless Math-slut
A hopeless romantic

I take credit for other people's work
I brag about my accomplishments
some of which are nothing more than glorified markup
others, simply half finished research
or software

My children are emotionally wrecked
full of anxiety
They get bad grades, go to bad schools and don't have any friends
My marriage is destroyed

I have a small number of friends
I owe them money
I owe employees back salary
I owe banks, credit card companies, and investors
I can no longer pay any debt service
I am for all intents and purposes, bankrupt
Socially. Professionally. Ethically.
If not legally
My bank accounts are garnished and screwed up
I have a chex system report on my companies
for NSF Abuse

I have a long history of screwing up lives
my favorite cat died
I let him
Ex Girlfriends have been institutionalized
Or changed their names
or moved to Canada
One of them even developed Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
She called me up to tell me she still loves me
Maybe also to ask for the negatives
from the last time I spanked her
as a weak dom
that made her feel dirty when she played
"Those picturs are pretty hardcore"
Yeah. Fuck you. I'm married. You're not getting them

I am useless
I will pretend to go to work now
and likely get nothing done whatsoever
or I might just sit here on my fat white ass
write some execrable doggerel and pass
it to the 4,000 or so people that come here
who also should probably be working
I write so poorly
everyone who reads me is always lurking

But
At precisely 12:00 today
I will buy a skateboard
An "Envy"
I will name her "Pandora"

And then I will spend a weekend with a submissive
Perhaps you've seen me on Television?
The subject a commercial when I was 12 .. 50 or 70 years past
"Don't do this kids! Wear a helmet and Pads.."
The NO symbol drawn over my face

Yes. We're going to have unprotected sex, she and I
My favorite kind
Sixty miles an hour
five centimeters off the ground
I might even drag my hand

Yeah and going that fast I could bongo
I won't

But if I make it
And somehow
I'm back to normal
Which might just happen if I sk8
I might just end up
Semi-useful
Semi-caring
Semi-faithful
Semi-intelligent
Who knows
Who cares
Think I'll flood my voicemail
stop taking calls
and join a monastery