Best Practices of Home Office Workplaces
Alligator Pool Toys: When,and not if, are presented with a giant translucent green alligator pool toy to blow up, while you are working at your home office on a very important proposal , simply do the following:
- Place alligator across arms.
- Assume proper position on the keyboard resting fingers on home row and alligator pool toy across the forearms.
- Grasp alligator valvestem with your teeth
- Bite. Holding the Alligator in Place with your teeth.
- Blow.
- ..And make sure your proposal doesn't suck.
Give then-inflated, giant, green-translucent pool toy to strangely diminutive office denizen (worker?) who will shriek with joy, take off to another part of your professional workplace where he will proceed to jump on it. Note striking similiaries between these actions and those observed at your in-town office.
Comments
Please keep your hands on the table where I can see them- I’m going to whisper a secret in your ear like Laura Palmer in the Black Lodge.
…..
Here’s what’s going to happen…You’re going to be a reasonable facsimile of a decent human being out there. You feel any of that slimy craftiness start to give you a hard on for me, I‘d strongly advise you to fucking control yourself. You can “like” what I post or not, and I’ll do the same for you. Have you learned not to underestimate me, yet? I don’t know if we can give you a passing grade on that.
I’ll be watching carefully…and anything you try to get across to me better not have any of your toxic, venomous jizz on it. Okay? Think you can handle that, lil buddy?
‘Capisce’?
….
I’m just telling you that if you try to get ugly about me over there again, you’ll get more of the same.