Showing posts from 2010

Merry Christmas



At first, it may seem that nature treads within a circle
that even if a man could live forever
he would only see things over and over again
death could be felt without pain

And of seeing a death, and a birth we could be glad of another death

But here is a hint
Loss changes us
sometimes for the better
and sometimes for the worse
It is better to work toward the truth
even if that truth is elusive
and colorless
than to allow yourself
and your soul
to be dyed with the color of your thought

Because that which is invisible can kill us
and that which we cannot see can be deadly
living for an eternity
will be a journey of loss
and every seven years, rebirth
but life
is for the living
and the laughter of small children
guides us, each by single and small steps at first
and finally running
into the shadow of the cross
where light is born
and gives warmth
and life can grow
from darkness
the memory of loss
fades as the memories of life
begin to glow
like LED at christmas against the snow

Colorless Venn Diagrams

I thought this was kind of useful. I will personally refuse to place myself on this diagram. Ahem. * Cough Noise *

The Old Senate Chamber

The senate meets here in the old chamber, tomorrow. This is presumably so they can debate behind closed doors - on a nuclear treaty. It's a really cool place.

Given the fact that these guys have passed major reforms to healthcare, prevented a full-on depression, reigned in wall street gambling addict culture, boosted the housing market (and I might add, made a big boost in my own personal situation as a result), passed groundbreaking civil legislation by nuking DADT, and passed laws that are now creating whole industries of green economy companies (hint: replace your AC and heater now, with an effecient one - while you still get a tax credit) - somehow all of this just makes sense that tomorrow they're going to close the hardest working congress in my living memory - with a session in the old senate chamber to work on a nuclear treaty that's been around for nearly a half a year.... They're actually getting as much work done as the old senate. They deserve it.

The f…

Make it with Japanese Twins...

Still haven't checked that one off....:)


I played Warcraft again last night. Some people hit the bottle. Others, will light up a cigarrette. I play Warcraft. I like my coffee like I like my women. Hot. Dark. And Steamy. I played until four AM. Mr Coffee patted me on the back. He said, son - I'm glad you're back. Have another cup of Joe. Coffee works. Who needs sleep, anyway. I am pretty sure I could play this game with a nutrient tube stuck in me but I don't want to try that. Not at least until healthcare reform passes in full. Too dangerous to try to get the claim processed if the feeding tube gets infected. Trust me on that point. I am no more addicted to Warcraft than I am to heroin. I realized long ago that I will not have any more veins left if I keep popping it in my arm, so I shoot up in interesting places. It's an escape. A real escape. Kind of like drugs, sex, and rock and roll. Ok, maybe it's more like sitting home alone in a dark room staring at a computer screen. But so what. …

Ben Lerner | The Lost Browning Tape (A Poem)

My work is about identity. There is some blurring at the center. The primary subject is found matter. In the 80s I made whole sink units out of the bones of Chinese prisoners. You kind of had to be there. Eyeballs on stalks are very political. My period of withdrawing something from something is over. Looking at pictures should be like shooting a wolf from a helicopter: subsidized. The problem with revulsion at materialism is that revulsion is material. Like I told van Doesburg: the secular equivalent of the Pietà is the market value of the Pietà; forget grids. I see my work as forgetting grids. The goal is not provoking any response whatsoever. Filmmakers are children who think the innate conservatism of science can be overcome by charisma. Blue wash is the consequence of scaling up. I could say the words blue wash forever. But that’s what they expect you to do, to keep making Brice Marden pictures because you’re Brice Marden. Marden is a wolf in helicopter’s clothing. He’s stuck in …

I Am The Highway - Audioslave/Final Fantasy [AMV]


I pulled a dustbunny off my jacket today and as it fell it did something surprising. It stopped mid-air, and took a right turn and shot across the room straight towards the jacket I had just removed it from. I dropped it again and the same thing happened, but as the static electric field was fading off my jacket - the arc was flat and it just barely caught the hem of my jacket at the end. I've been thinking alot lately about the central problem of the net. It's not the tons of data. After all, everything generates tons of data. Its the fact that nobody seems to know what is worth knowing anymore. Alot of it isn't on the net at all. Courage. Honesty. Physical Strength. Intelligence. The net is too simple a place to hang out - to acquire these skills. We learn physics, for example - by doing math. It's easier to do it on the page than to type the equations or try to draw the integral signs with a mouse. In network engineering, we sometimes refer to the internet a…

Dance Dance Revolution

Charming. Really.

Emma Roberts has said that she would go to the wedding, underneath the arm of Prince Harry. Speaking personally, I don't think I would have a problem with her as a date. There's a certain look in her eye that I find wonderfully undefinable.

Cell Phone Batteries

When I first started using rechargeable batteries, the prevailing tech was Nickel Cadmium - and they had a memory effect. You know, the thing that happens if you charge them only half way - they will learn to become half power and get stuck in an operating limit that is half their charge. Lithium Ion batteries, the kind in your cellphone - do not have that effect. You can charge them as much as you want. However, you still have something of a memory life effect - you need to try to limit the total amount of charging that's going on with your phone, because the action of charging a Li Ion battery causes deposits within the battery that over time destroy the battery. The battery responds to heat. If you're trapped in the wild and your battery dies - you can get off one SOS call by taking the battery out and heating it. You will likely have enough electricity to make one more call. But if you're using your phone on a daily basis, don't drain it all the way down. T…

Nude but not Naked

In part six of a continuing series on how kink is woven into the fabric of the universe, I am going to discuss punishment. Not the kind of punishment you get for not showing up on a saturday night half-date that was never really planned out - or skipping a cub scout meeting. The kind of punishment that you can feel...

Punishment teaches, and fosters growth. If a given punishment is too severe, the result could be fear or resentment of the dominant. If it's too soft, it can create indifference to the dominant's rules. It should not damage self esteem or cause permanent injury. A submissive should always know what he/she is being punished for and any punishment should include a discussion of what was done, why it was wrong and how to avoid it in the future. However, a dynamic tension can be struck within that chord of a possible range of activities for which punishment is warranted. The sure knowledge of wrongdoing is the quickest way to draw down reprisal - however, the need…


I just got back my grant application review. Shot down. I want to commit suicide by eating a dozen fresh hot krispy kreme doughnuts and two hot cups of coffee - driving myself into anaphylactic shock in the inevitable system crash to follow. Dying with a glazed look in my eyes. And of course, since this is my first round - I'm telling myself that I can file an amendment and go for it. But the work is daunting. I am going to lay out a full year before I try again. My primary problem with the application I submitted is that I didn't know that the approach I had taken in the first part of the research (which we submitted before everyone figured out how to do it) had been adapted by industry and is now industry standard. Doh. But the second part of my approach wasn't even recognized - which gives me hope for the future. I wrote at length about how to divide speech up into segments and how to recognize those segments in a way that meaningfully decreases the confusion o…

Black Swan

Hey - The Pixies

Lunch at My Desk

It was something you said
and how you said it
it burned into my memory
like a cold fire
I wanted to know more
so I stayed in the office
to have lunch at my desk
and surf the web

I remembered your words
even though we'd never met
they were drawn
like soft pencil on strathmore
in my mind's eye
You and I
went out against the sky
like a patient etherized
on tylenol 3 with codeine

The crunchy green pickle
and sandwich at my desk
and potato chips in a clear plastic bag
The cold water from a styrofoam cup
like the darkness that falls over night
on the cage of a hamster
with a pawprint on the water bottle

Man does not
live by bread alone
but by every word that comes
from God

As I write , an air raid siren sounds
early warning
if we ever get hit by a bomb
or a tornado
or a meteor
At least I'll know what's coming

A tasty lunch
But now
You have to find the last paw print

that's the third clue
And put it in your notebook
'cause they're whose clues?

And th…


Wikileaks founder Julian Assange, is being pressed into a role for the American viewing public. He is being cast in a drama. Those that wish Wikileaks to be silenced, are heavily focussed on providing - for the voting public - a persona and a face to the Wikileaks utility. Although this makes about as much sense as, say, attributing a single human being to a set of comments about a blog post - or trying to pin down a blog written by a team of people, to just one person - they are now attempting to make Julian Assange the face of Wikileaks. This is so they can criminalize him. Today, Interpol rapidly placed him on their most wanted list - and why? Sexcrimes.

In the book 1984, a sexcrime was any offense against 'big brother' - that resulted as a part of a sexual act that was not for the purposes of furthering the party. Sex was reserved as a means of furthering the species - and such sex was referred to as 'goodsex'. Anything else, was deemed a sexcrime. For example…

Distributed Denial of Service

Wikileaks is trying, today, to publish a large cache of documents that outline American foreign policy. This policy is resultant from ten years of gradual shift of control of American institutions to Corporations. In 2010, Corporations have unprecedented control of American institutions. It is likely that the revelations contained within these documents will contain an incredible array of information relating to this recent effect - and it will likely uncover a large proportion of American foreign policy in such a manner as to allow an American citizen , for the first time in nearly 30 years - to determine if he or she agrees. Most American News organizations have drifted into News Media entertainment - it is a profitable thing. Seeing , this weekend - on a journey to a small town - the presence of the nonstop ticker parade and the 24 hour news cycle passed off as a kind of endless entertainment - suitable for dealing with fast food lines, waiting in line at amusement parks - and …

A Thanksgiving Message from Turnerbroadcasting

To: Mr. Kim Jong Il.
RE: World War III

Dear Mr. Kim Jong Il, of North Korea. How are you? I am fine. I hope you get a chance to take a good , long look at this blog. And in particular, feast your eyes on this. delicious. bird.

I heard that if you stare at meat, you feel alot less aggressive. So please, Mr. Kim Jong Il, or , if you're already too tired... have your successor just set down a spell. Stare at that bird up there. Really decide if you want to aim your artillery and rockets on the islands of an innocent country and blow up their armies there. That's it. Keep staring.

Happy Thanksgiving

South versus North

The North Koreans attacked an island off the coast of South Korea , today. But what this means for the long term battle between the North and the South is far from clear. If the South Koreans allowed a battleship to be sunk by a North Korean torpedo, then we may find them willing to overlook the invasion of one of their islands. The image of the Korean peninsula at night is something I still find striking - that an entire country can be basically, completely dark - in the 21st century.

Why did the North attack the South? The North has mismanaged its resources, it is starving - and it is in dire need of the South. In some ways, this is similiar to the Civil War of America - the North was heavily dependent upon the natural resources of the South - but they were unwilling to share the wealth that arose. Many economic factors played into the South Carolina secession, and the southern colonies broke away from the north primarily due to this reason. At the start of the Civil War, there …

Right Here Right Now - Fatboy Slim

Love and Faith

is built with faith
it feels time
and has sense of place
it is part of life
and hidden desire
the kick inside
the unforgettable fire

without faith
is like calamari without taste
like a plate of tiny tires
and the end of a meteor shower
in the cold morning
where one by one
the stars cease to fall
and we freeze in the grass
looking up at the dark

We are all in the gutter
but some of us

look to the stars

Grinnin' In Your Face - Son House / [Jack White]

My Death

I am finite
so are you
the food we ate tonight was good
but it too
was something that gave its life
I choose to give mine

But how? Did it have a choice?
we ate
because we are predator
they were our prey
The Dalai Lama said :
"It is not the quantity of life
but the quality"

You are a hungry baby

For what reason
should I give my life to you

Let me whisper in your ear
and sing
that I want you to free
to learn
and play

If my life cannot give this to you
perhaps my death will

Pink Floyd - Marooned

In the Shadow of the Moon

Sleep Number

I went to bed at ten last night, and it was a trip. I slept very well, and woke up with a head full of dreams at seven. I was surprised at the effect of sleep. I'd never had as much sleep as this - at least, not in the last four or five months. The first thing I noticed was that I awoke with a vivid dream. It involved a marriage scene, some webdesign, sharpeis, and a dangerous waterfall with a hot tub up at the top of it. Let's not go into details here. But the second thing I noticed was that I felt alot better. I was more tired, when I awoke - but then gradually I started to feel sharper through the morning. I was really surprised at the positive impact it had upon my day. I'm going to try this sleep thing out again sometime soon.


If you are playing to win
There are days you will lose
Depression seeps in
like dark primordial ooze

It closes your eyes and walls in the room
and makes you feel small and cold and black
It makes you wonder why you're even alive
and if you're just a hack

But in its blackness it whispers "avoid"
and opens a chance to escape
So don't get paranoid
of inescapapble fate

Pick yourself up
and get back in the game
You can win again
Just don't forget that you play to win
and fortune favors the brave

Wave of Mutilation - The Pixies/Luc Goddard [AMV]

Inflammation Response

The inflammation response is a deadly mechanism: its sole purpose is to act within your body as a living and functional programmed cell death that can be used at-need. When you get a cut, and your skin turns red around the wound - the color in your skin is the inflammation response directing the arteries around the area of possible infection to rupture and destroy themselves. The response is almost immediate, and it can occur anywhere. Cancer comes from a virus. The patterns are sometimes passed from generation to generation. The cancer virus expresses itself as a constant attempt to break the code of the human telomere - to attempt to decrypt the means by which our cells can be used to make other cells without nuclei. The telomere breaks a piece of itself of in an attempt to stop it. When cancer arrives in a particular area, what has happened is that the cells in that area have succumbed to the brute force attack by the virus or by an inherited expression of the virus from with…

Superfriends Power Activate

The Germans never believed for a second that the Enigma rotor cipher had been broken. It was all wine and roses for the third Reich, until Hitler fell. Chain graphics cards together and see what happens. It might suprise you. Maybe not like a chick jumping out of a cake, but it will surprise you enough to make you smile.




Are you real? A physicist might as that question in a different way. First, to a physicist - you're an observer. The laws of Physics aren't all that meaningful unless they provide valid, observable predictions. And the last iteration of updates to physical law dealt in a set of special conditions that deal with the observer - making that entity - an integral part of the measurement. Ever heard of Schroedinger's Cat? You are important to a physicist. Without the observer, nothing happens. The closer you get to the data, the better off you are. And real, to a physicist - means something different than it might mean to a mathematician. A math guy will accept real, and imaginary results. However, in a physics experiment - everything that will be produced has a real value. The results will all be expressed in real numbers. And real numbers have alot of structure. Have you ever heard of the concept that there are very many real numbers between the number 1, and 2? For exampl…

Dita Von Teese

The best things in life are free. And the best of that, might be able to say yes - when it comes to the question of, say ..... are you free on Saturday ?

Cherche La Femme.

The Dominant Life Form on Planet Earth

Just took out the dominant surfer on Planet Earth. Andy Irons, R.I.P.

Andy died a few days ago in his hotel room, in Dallas, Texas - after withdrawing from a surfing contest. He was trying to return home. He had contracted what was thought to be Dengue fever. His life serves as a reminder to those of us who are all about excellence. His surfing was nonpareil. He was one of the greats, and he will truly be missed. But his death serves as an even more solemn reminder that viral forms of life dominate this planet, and are constantly mutating. Andy was born in 1978. His mother, and father - as human beings - took 28 years to change their DNA code and produce great surfer. That is the time between our generations. The Virus that killed him took ten weeks and it produces a new generation every few days. They are parasitic - feeding on the host organism by inserting their DNA into our own - and using us as a means to reproduce themselves. Andy died, in all likelihood, because the D…

Tomorrow's Election - Nov. 2

Tomorrow is an important day. Alot of us are pretty upset about the influence that lobbyists have over our country. They see real solutions getting chopped up into fake and plastic placebo effect, sent back to us in 25,000 page form with amazing legislative innovations such as the concept that we should not allow the government to group bargain for the lowest rate, from pharmaceutical companies. Lobbyists have spent 4 billion dollars in the past five months - that's almost 26 million dollars a DAY. Think about this for a second. That is a huge amount of money. What has it been buying? It has bought off commentary - and editorial control from the eight struggling media corporations who control over 87% of everything every American reads, sees or hears. There has been a huge influx of manipulated polling, and political 'consultancy'. These polls and 'studies' have all focussed on one key item: the 'loss' of the house from the congress that voted for hea…

Be Safe. Be Well.

Be Warm.


What are you doing, for Halloween? Have you figured out what costume you'll wear? I figured mine out just this morning, on the way in to work. I heard 'Don't Fear the Reaper' on the radio. It gave me an idea... :)

The Seventh Guest

The Ordinary World

We are guided by our dreams
our nightmares
our heart is locked in a battle with our head
in the ordinary world

Colorless green ideas
move toward the light
nothing comes from nothing
two wrongs don't make a right

Erebus, love, and dark winged night
brought love, fertility and war

And Astarte was born
fully clothed
With cellphone

She got into her car
and drove away
into the ordinary world
to her ipod

And when she died
The sound of the siren said the ambulance was coming
her heart had stopped beating
but the meter was still running


One thing that's fun about keeping your priority list straight is that if things happen on the low or midside of that list, you end up not worrying as much about it. It just takes time to figure it out. Last night was a good example. I had a problem with a customer. There were these issues with their configuration, and they were complaining. They ended up setting up a meeting with my competitor - at least, I was pretty sure about it. When people complain, you need to deal with the issue. If they're making noise, but you're fixing the problem - then they're probably okay. It's when they get silent on you, that you know you're losing business. They're going elsewhere. So, I was kind of down about it all. I was trying to get with this customer and let them know what I'd done for them but they were 'out of the office'. And then I checked in with my competitor and asked him if he'd heard about anything from these guys. He said he didn'…

World Outside - The Devlins

Nobody Really Knows

The GOP is behind some pretty feverish handwringing, and political forecast second guessing - these days. The Bush Republicans were so blown out of office just one and a half short years ago - in such a complete and devastating manner - that they are anxious to see if they can maintain their now-tenuous hold on power. They've failed in nearly all of their stated 2008 Agenda. This is of course, paid for by the shady people who are paying for big political ads that run everywhere. After all, political consultants have to get money to skew the poll results. Normally, they put money into both parties, and try to play one off the other. So that when the other party makes it into power, they've got just what they need to accomplish their objective. This election cycle, the lobbyists have all their money on the GOP. They've bet nearly 85% of their money on the Bush Republicans. And of course, the Bush Republicans told them that when they win, they will be able to drive do…


I have sinned
and my wage is death

A dark aria played upon four strings
the melody that lifegod sings
comes to end

I have sinned
and the wages of sin are death
the gift of god is eternal life
but my hand closes tight

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe.
Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion.
I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tanhauser Gate.
All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.

I try to open my hand
they drive the nail through
but still it closes
why have you forsaken me

Looking up I see
through blood upon my brow
the Blue Angels
flying in formation low
scattering my ash to wind

I see them fly straight up into the sky
and my lifedream
reaches further
and I see them flying higher
their blue and gold wings
so high the sky turns black
and then
they return to earth again
flying straight at each other
re-entering our atmosphere like a spaceship
and crossing at the airstrip
the white hot wings passing another
separated by mer…

Arthur C. Clarke on Predicting the Future

Dead Blog

I enjoyed you while you were alive
you were created by a person
I am not sure why you had to die
Maybe you were murdered

This post brings back memories
of all the things you write
It speaks to me of beauty
and reminds me of your life

I never really knew you
We will never meet
I fold my hands in prayer
and touch them to your feet

And walk away
with sadness
knowing you have crossed a line
where life and death are shadow
and nothing is defined
I guess you feel that you are free
because you hit delete


A human powered monorail with the network of rails floating above the ground. Pods fly across the network powered by bicycle gearing.

Citizens everywhere rejoice. Do you want to know more?

Mountain Bike Nirvana

When I purchase something, I'm not usually one to make a big deal out of what it costs. I also usually don't look forward to buying things - the acquisition usually isn't the high point. In fact, when I get something new, I usually face the event with dread. Some people think about the new, sweet little puppy that will come home. I think about cleaning up puppy dirt off the carpet for two weeks , until the little fur ball knows how to ask to go outside. Some think they would be happy with a sweet little kitten who would love then and snuggle them. I think I would be happy when the kitten grows into a young cat and kills a rat for me. I am happiest when I am in the midlife of things - a car that is well tuned, and doesn't break down. A bike that really works great, fits me well. Let other people constantly buy new stuff. I'll go with comfortable. Which is why getting a new mountain bike is a big deal for me. I ride them hard. The last bike I bought - was more …

Civilization V : 21st Century Chess

I'm shaking off the sleep loss from my first , open start Civilization 5 game. I wanted to go over a bit of the strategy I used, and how I am making out. I chose to play as Germany, because I planned to hit the map hard and I wanted a start advantage. Germany has a great starting advantage and a good midgame military unit. Around 1200 I finally designed a winning strategy after figuring out that siege units cannot occupy a city (doh!), and I am about 20 turns away from Victory now. There is one last big battle with Rome. I am considering keeping them alive, so I can see what the space race victory condition will look like. I will probably save game after I blast Rome back to a single hex, or two - save, win the game by military means - and then annex the capital cities of my conquered civilizations to boost my final score. Burning them off the map. Then, perhaps, just do the space race ending so I can see what the endgame animation looks like. When you're winning, it'…

Everything Dies

Everything dies
stars explode
meteors fall
galaxies rip themselves apart from tide

wither on the vine
falling to earth
Pumpkins rot
Toothy Jack O' Lantern grin
biting into itself, folding
its face in mock denture
until black ooze comes from its eyes

What part of a human
is the immortal soul
What part lives on after death

Can I angle my windshield back
so that the bullet glances off
or the roadside explosion
dashed against the hardened undercarriage
Will the fiber in my tire
keep the wheel from getting shot

Is life

If it is
My immortal soul

Is going to hide behind rocks and trees
And fire at you
And you have to wear red
And march in a straight line

And whatever nobility exists
Among all this death
and war
will be taken away
and made with humility
into something worth having
just as long as you remember
To play to win

And walk away
if they walk up to you
with a crown

Thee Lordz ov Ass Hyt

People . Who need. People.

Are the luckiest people in the world.

Regarding the So Called Republican Takeover

The republicans took over the house of representatives, the senate, the white house and the supreme court and held them for eight years. The bush republicans crashed the global economy, destroyed America's diplomatic profile, entangled our country in wars of convenience that have cost us well over a trillion dollars. And their policies left the world markets depleted of over 2 trillion dollars of cash. The republicans made a contract with America, before. Now they're making just a pledge. And what pledge is this? The last time they were in power they completely crashed the government and installed the largest federal bureaucracy in the history of the United States of America. They then proceeded to turn the reigns of power over to US Corporations, which immediately took advantage of the American people, ripping them off whenever possible and in ways we still haven't even discovered. It took the current administration nearly 14 months just to drain the swamp they left beh…

Nothing left of this post... except the word...



Stuxnet is a type of Malware that seems to be directed at Siemens Corporation. Not many people are writing about this, for some reason. The writing and press are focussed on the fact that the majority of attacks and reported incidents seem to be in Iran. And also, that this new form of Malware is very dangerous. It is. Malware is a type of computer virus that masquerades as useful software. It slips by Antivirus programs , usually as an update , patch or fix. There are different kinds of Malware. And there are different vectors. The worst kind, in my view - is rootkit. These are viruses that try to get administrator, or 'root' on your machine. And the worst vector, is when they replace a driver or protocol. I had a virus damage the TCP protcol once, and the only thing I could do, to fix it - was to uninstall the OS on the machine, and reinstall anew. In fact, that is what I would recommend. If you are hit with a very bad virus, and you've run scanners to delete it. …

Advertising began as an art of maximizing the number of customers in your business. At first, it was a sign or image on a wall - perhaps even a pile of rocks that let someone know you had a good or service to offer. You may have even dressed differently than someone else, so that people can see you on the plains or in the cave and would know you offer a product they could use - by some medium of exchange. But without that medium of exchange, everything broke down. Cavemen, for example - had to be able to trade things of value for goods or services, else what would be the point? If you could not pay someone for something, why would they wish to advertise? They can catch far more wooly mammoth and saber tooth tiger - dressed in bear skin, than they can wearing the hat of a medicine man. So advertising appeared, at a point at which goods or services could be virtualized. You could give a gift of berries, seeds, or a skein of dried mammoth steaks - in exchange for the healing services of …


I've written several essays here about social media such as Facebook (one of many possible social network sites), Twitter,etc. I've also touched on the undefinably intense level of evil associated with the tethered network appliance - such as the cellphone bound to a particular carrier, the embedded smartphone browser with general either tied to a single set of sites, or otherwise standards disabled, or the random blu-ray player bound to a handful of vendor websites to receive a general protocol stream. I've never said the two were connected. I've written carefully about social networking because it's defining and shaping a new generation of young children whose exposure to the intense environment of the net - has possibly affected the children in a negative way, and web pages such as facebook, or iphone 'apps' (really , also just web pages with embedded application capability) - are their primary means of undoing the damage. Children have become aware …