I just got back my grant application review. Shot down. I want to commit suicide by eating a dozen fresh hot krispy kreme doughnuts and two hot cups of coffee - driving myself into anaphylactic shock in the inevitable system crash to follow. Dying with a glazed look in my eyes.

And of course, since this is my first round - I'm telling myself that I can file an amendment and go for it. But the work is daunting. I am going to lay out a full year before I try again.

My primary problem with the application I submitted is that I didn't know that the approach I had taken in the first part of the research (which we submitted before everyone figured out how to do it) had been adapted by industry and is now industry standard. Doh.

But the second part of my approach wasn't even recognized - which gives me hope for the future. I wrote at length about how to divide speech up into segments and how to recognize those segments in a way that meaningfully decreases the confusion of the recognizer. There has to be a way to explain this like David Crystal can explain it.

C. S. Lewis wrote: "Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point. "

He also wrote: The safest road to hell is the gradual one-the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts. "

You play the hand you're dealt with. I think the game's worthwhile.