Showing posts from 2014

Do You Right - / Shlomo - Bo Peep ft. Jeremih

Chandelier - Sia

#home @gain







Free Form Vent

1. I have no patience for a political party that supports a broken system that prioritizes corporations and billionaires over regular voters. Their basis for doing so is the tacit acceptance that a regimen of lawsuits - feeding legions of lawyers ... is acceptable to be employed by intermediaries in our government as a way of forcing change in legislation. This , in turn, is based again, on the incorrect and false premise that the intermediaries - are in fact necessary to amass large amounts of money during electoral cycles and are necessary.

2. I am disabused of the illusion that Washington is now a place where men go to represent their respective people. I see all too clearly that Washington DC has now (thanks to the money provided by lobbyism) become a sort of twisted university system in which party affiliation means little (most lobbyists hedge their bets as to which party will be in power and so constantly reach across the aisle to recruit the opposite party faction) ... and fo…

Feel Good, Inc. - Gorillaz

Subdivisions - Alex Lifeson

Sprawling on the fringes of the city
In geometric order
An insulated border
In between the bright lights
And the far unlit unknown

Growing up it all seems so one-sided
Opinions all provided
The future pre-decided
Detached and subdivided
In the mass production zone
Nowhere is the dreamer or the misfit so alone

Drawn like moths we drift into the city
The timeless old attraction
Cruising for the action
Lit up like a firefly
Just to feel the living night

Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights...

- Alex Lifeson

And Know They Love You

Many positive states of mind, such as ecstasy, are ethically neutral. Which is to say that it really matters what you think the feeling of ecstasy means. If you think it means that the Creator of the Universe is rewarding you for having purged your village of Christians, you are ISIS material. Other bearded young men go to Burning Man, find themselves surrounded by naked women in Day-Glo body paint, and experience a similar state of mind. - Sam Harris

I happened across this author today and found that he's written a book called Waking Up - a guide to spirituality without religion. I think a central problem I've been trying to work on , in whatever spare time I have had in the last year or so - and having had a near death experience in January - is the fact that faith, and God - can touch lives other than my own and that there really is a benefit to the world to have some kind of institution or rule and guide for best practices that helps us all to become closer to God. I sho…

The Return

I noticed today that the blogsphere had grown cold. The friends I blogged with are gone, and in general - much of the writing done today seems to be one or two line - easily mine-able snippets of text traded back and forth on social media. In fact, I see much more of this writing than I ever did on the blogsphere... Someone might have taken two, three days to write a one page blog post - but the social media types are constantly going back and forth with three lines here, one line there ... etc.

I am not sure if the blogsphere ever did leave. I think the circle of friends I used to blog with have changed, and no longer blog as avidly as they did before. I suppose part of the drive I felt to blog - had to do with feelings about my country during a time of war of convenience. I struggled, as an American - with the idea that my country was simply taking an opportunity to get involved in a conflict and send our soldiers into harms way for the weak justification of false intelligence and…

Joseph Smith

Building towns out of nowhere
and churches that live
with testimony

You can't get what you want
but you made the word of God breathe
in the desert like a living rose
and you were the medicine
that became the medicine man

Who met the lord.
Looking out upon the face of a golden dream.

Do you remember the stick game, Joseph?

You were strong
and bright.

You were a mystic
the melancholy passage of time
could not dim

Though in the end.
It tried.

When you were young
you used magic stones
to find treasure
for farmers on their land

I am not sure
but I think you knew
that each year there is a silent day
the anniversary
of your own death

I think you could feel it
I think you could feel alot of things

You knew that one day
The men will come
with faces painted black

Kids with guns
come to end your life.

An inside job.

A requiem
for a dream

The Book of Abraham
And a prayer of Breathing
In the afterlife

Do you see
the Rosetta stone
standing in the distance
Do you charge
a quarter apiece?

He Can Miss Her Just The Same

He has missed her in the forest
while he showed her all the flowers
and the branches sang the chorus
as he climbed the scaly towers
of a forest tree

And she was somewhere
being free.

There's a man who sent a letter
and he's waiting for reply

He writes:

Wish you were beside me.
We can make it if we try.
He has seen her at the office.
With her name on all the papers.
With the sharing of all the profits.

He will find it hard to shake her
from his memory.

And she's so busy
being free

Now there's a lady
in the city
and she thinks she loves them all
there's the one who's thinking of her
and one who sometimes calls

There's the ones who writes the letters
with his facts and figures scrawled

She has brought them to her senses
they have laughed inside her laughter

Now she rallies her defenses
for she fears someone will ask her

of eternity

There's a jokester and a jester
and a drummer and a dreamer
and you know there may be more

She will love her when she sees t…

To Keep Going

In my mind
I hold
a dream
that keeps me going

It was you. Again.
I don't always dream of you.

But when I do, it's a trip.

You and I were in a hallway
in a place that felt like royalty

you were dressed in gold lame

And I walked passed you slowly

a long hall
of many doors

And as I passed you
I turned to you and said.

You are beautiful.

I took a few steps more.

I said.

You know this is true.
Because I said it to you.

Requiem for a Dream

This. Is. Necessary.

I'm An Animal .. Trapped in Your Hot Car.

Host of Seraphim - Dead Can Dance

Soft Work

Perhaps the things we do in life
do not add to much
Certainly we try
to make it all pay

We try to be true to our calling
remember our calling is true

But we change
the world changes
even the universe changes

You've changed.
I've changed.

I've decided.
To grow out my hair.

This does not count for much.

I've decided.
To play a game obsessively.
Sometimes until I pass out.

People will not be impressed.

I've decided.
Even though last night.
I threw up when I awoke.

The taste of acid was rough.
My stomach felt better without
its contents.

I'm tired of being a blimp.
Again, this doesn't count for much.

Fat Americans are not something unknown.

The angel descends
to your dresser
and knocks over the blessed virgin
so you know
to obey
your mother

And still you don't.

My car is wrecked.
My life resembles broken glass and splinters

I cling to the supercell
of dark hope and driving rain
and lost wishes and pain

And you.

And …

Stylo - Gorillaz

Jello Biafra Interviews the Unarian UFO Cult

Jennifer Government

I remember
doing bong hits
on the hill
overlooking the factory
behind the golf course
or maybe it was acid

Maybe nothing at all.
I was sixteen.

It was a quiet night
The stars were out

The running lights of the machines
lit the sky sodium arc lamp
and washed the hillside
with an offshade orange

Everything looked perfect
from far away

Industry, and the night shift
helped everyone to get where they were going
within a socio-technical system
of poetry

Helped along.
By Google and Wikipedia.

I guess I was wondering what it was like to work
Being that I was stoned.

I wondered if it was better than what I was doing
above the loam

I guess now I can imagine
Jennifer Government
Barcode beneath her eye

Do Not Revive.
Across the Heart.

For How much could I sell my entire life?
How much you did you get for yours?

I made it home
Cutting Donuts across the Putting Green

In a beat up car
Through seven shades of teenage gray
And the sodium arc lamp haze

I made a B+ that summer
Even thoug…

Number 13, Baby - The Pixies

Because I look so incredibly cool

It suppresses appetite
acting as a mild stimulant

The smoke rises in curls
and helps me to ask.
Where is my mind?

But mostly.
As Woody Allen said.

Because I look so incredibly cool.

Let's get off our white asses.
Or whatever color you ride.

Let's do something worth doing.

The Difference Between A Vocation. And a Job.

He Answers for Her.

He answers for her.
He takes her calls.

He decides what she will do.
What she will say.
Where she will go on vacation.

She is the father of his child.
He takes a photograph of them all.
He puts it on his social media.
This is who he believes.

He is.

She keeps her back against the wall.

One day.
Before her.
He will stop and wonder.
His child will have grown old.
He didn't notice.
Until it was too late.

The day he realized; his children no longer want to go
to Disney World.

Maybe he will come up with a cheap substitute.
Senses working overtime.
But all too late.

He will get old.
His cock probably will not work.
Someone will try to sell him a pill.

He won't buy it.

And slowly, dumbfounded.
He will walk toward the woods.
Not the desert.

And he will face the beast with so many arms.
That he avoided for so many years
It will find him . He will name it Mr. Dark.

He will feel its hot breath
and burning eyes
It will strike
just below the throat
close enough
that …

Blade Runner - 8 Bit Cinema

Clash of Clans

The Drums of War are beating low

The Giants
Lumber across the battlefield
set your traps

Witches cast their dark spell
summoning with black magic
the undead

Black men just broken out of prison
(they've still got their handcuffs on)
riding wild hogs

Archers, Lads.

Will come to breach our walls
Knock out our security cameras
Take our Gold.
Smack up our Elixir.

Open the Castle.
And send in the Dragon.

And when they cross the rubicon.
It will be death they find.

Enemy, mine.

Moonlight Sonata, Op. 27 Movements 1, 2 and 3 - Beethoven

Heart, Broken

I am Temporal
Converging on this space
Then dissipating.

My Heart
Drives me onward

You are Place.

I press myself to your chest

Your tiny heart
Beating like
the wings of a bird


You taste like a peach

And I hear the Mermaids sing
each to each

And Now We Are Free
And all I see

Is something
I want.
to Kill.

I catch

The unnumbered sparks
that fly upward

And hold them in my hand
like fireflies

Until their light fades
and their bodies still.

Their souls
like the wings of a bird
escape this world

Moving upward
And Chaos
And Erebus

Into the dark winged night

I say goodbye.
to Father.

I say goodbye.
to home.

I say goodbye.
To loveless hope.

And hopeless love.

I hold onto you still.

In my dreams.

For you are Living through me.

Like an avenging angel
that turns itself into a sun

You whisper light
and warm

The unending cold of space
which calls me

And then falls away
into a circle

That I now
no longer


A tree girdled by a heart
cut with an arrow


Speed of Sound - Coldplay

Saying it Changes Nothing

I didn't mean to hurt


I didn't mean to harm


I only wanted to stop


Cogito Ergo Avatar.

Live through your eyes
Feel through your skin
Taste with your mouth
Touch with your hand
Bite with your fangs

A dark form sits beside me now

The dude abides

The sound

of the short shallow


of prey.



Locked Out of Heaven - Bruno Mars

Open. Mind.

It's funny
but I'm not entirely sure

A lifetime
of preparing for you

Has left me cold
and unable to know

if you are open
if you are soul

I'm certain
love goes on

But you
in this prison we call home
somewhere along the way

Can give up

You can just get tired
or maybe the coffee wears off

And shrug
And say

I'm not going to play
and walk off

I think
Our minds.
Get tired.

Being in a body.
That hurts.

And living in a life.
That does not accomplish much.

I think.
We dream solutions.

And wake to do them.
But the spirit.

Push us back against the wave
make us lay upon the beach

And slowly

racing against gulls
and smashing the castles
against the shore

Do you cry for the lost buildings?
Do you fear for the next turning?

Of tide.
And time.

That wait.
For you.



South Florida

Your Circle

It is alright to learn
that you are still attracted to someone
who isn't part of your life
or can't be the one

If for some reason
they chose a different Geography
or path of life
it's because

They chose a circle
of friends and places
not your own

You can still love them.
Part of them still lives on.


The News


Net Neutrality

How to be a Better Writer In Two Days.

be there when the ideas come
and listen

be there when the ideas go
and write them

be there when the people come
and read them

And listen

American Trash - Innerpartysystem


I know that I should stop
but I can't

I touch
and click
and bite
and hold
and breathe
and blow
and feelings move through me

Like Smoke and Mirrors

I have a pile of things
that I have collected all around me

I am proud of them
and in some way
I use them to tell you things.

For example,
I am not bankrupt

That could be useful mating information

I am broken
and a bit torn
and when I stop eating things

that had a face
or a mother

I feel it
a sort of withdrawal

A hunger
to eat

And not just eat
but consume
and destroy

like the open road

Don't Hold Us - Macklemore and Ryan

Speaking Plainly

I love you
not the idea of you
nor the nervous moment

But you.

I will always love you.
Not because I once loved you.
Or because I need you.

But because the world needs you.
The universe.
Is not complete without you.

You are the weaver of space and time
and flesh and bone
and the dark letter that strikes
upon the readable page
absorbs all light
and reflects

I do not question my love for you
or how it grows

but I know there are moments
and this is the moment

Where I speak my heart
to you. Alone.

And you are, I guess. Afraid?

It's been far too long and far too many words.
But somehow.
With each new love letter.

Even the bad ones..

I find a way to know.
That I love you.

I would likely love your children, too.
If I knew them.

And maybe.
Even your husband.

But in a different way.

Jake Hill - Any Kinda Work Today

Play Misty for Me

Love can come in many different forms
some more powerful
others less

And if you're frightened
you can be frightened


You can be afraid to see and hear an old friend
Their actual presence and place

You can be afraid of loving creation
kneeling before time and space

There is a terror to knowing a person
can be the one for you

And a cold, bright shock that forever
can only bring you to the truth
with a capital TNT

Love plays upon us all in so many different ways
It can give you wings
bring you to your knee

So why be afraid of love?
It's just a feeling.


Love is a weapon
that will dwell in your energy
lock onto your scent

It will tear you out of the world
and deliver your essence
to a person or persons

And life itself is born again
from the torn remnant
of your own limits
Scarring trees
with images
of hearts
and names
and addition

We join in a playground
where you plus me
equals eternity

I am afraid
of being the man I should be

And you are afraid
to achieve

The Other Side - Dr. Who/ The Scissor Sisters


There is a rock
next to a sea

Each day the ocean
destroys it

There is a beach
at the shore

And when you grow up
You will be there

Your Demons

And all the non believers
next to the plans they have made

And there is a rock
still there

And strangely cool
to the touch

Throw me a bone here
into the sky

Let it fall back down to me
as a spacecraft

For I am damned
and an image
upon your skin

And sometimes I get the feeling
that it will all wash away

And then the sharks return
and I climb to dry land

And kiss the ground
my flippers turn to hands

And I love you with all my heart
their misery and hate will kill us all
except for the little circle of flesh
within me that I transform

Into a beating heart
that still beats

For you

Just a fragment left of you now
but it's a hologram

Thank you Karl Pribram

Sigur Ros - Valtari

Did Jesus Have a Wife?

Let's skip for a moment
the question of children..

Did Jesus ever marry?
Did he ever kiss?
Could he have known heaven?
Could he have tasted bliss.


Let's Forget About The Stone

I Can't Listen to Vampire Weekend Without Smiling

Ok, fine. I get it.
There is a such a thing as catholic guilt.

Sure, I understand.
You can write a song about someone that you can't even say the name of.

I feel you in my bones.
I feel you in my bones.

I need you to know.
We are not perfect, you and I

I want to be better
I try to find
the weak spots
and hack them away

I want everyone around me to be better
I try to find
their weak spots
and play with them all day

It makes me a passive aggressive asshole
A creep
A person you do not want to know


But it might make me someone who can love
Someone whose head is in the stars
and heart is in the world

The truth is you don't need me to protect you
You don't need me for nearly anything

But I am here
If at least in an image

Because I feel you in my bones
And I'm strong enough
and ready for

A change in my life
that includes you

And your heart
And that means smiling at the things that drive us apart

It means not being a passive aggressive slipknot
around my own neck
It me…

Creep - Radiohead

Killing Jesus

The Feast of the Tabernacle
is eight days long

Jesus has traveled
to Jerusalem

He lets the morning come
in his favorite half light
He speaks in Parables
and the die is cast

Is this the man they are trying to kill
ask the crowd

Is this the Christ?


And the Church responds.
A prophet does not come.

From Galilee.

I am going away.
And where I go.
You cannot come.

The crowd knows
that in that moment
they, the Jews will have defeated Rome

Their lives will be free
and the Holy City once choked with blood
will at last become streets of a gold

The crowd dreams of heaven on earth
their favorite innocence
their favorite lie

And there are those
who wait to be told
he is the Christ

There are those
who wait for him to arrive
riding on donkey

To the Sanhedrin
To Caiphas

We let the fire down soon
And like Kitty Genovese
They will look out of their windows

And say to themselves
Better its him
and not me

Nine Inch Nails
will be driven into him
But not a bone will be broken

And some will say
If y…

In My Room - Incubus

Ode to Gwar

Travelling 43 billion years plus 7
past the speed of sound
you arc across heaven

The slave goes away
David Brockie.

But there was only room enough for one
And even as your carcass peels life
into food for worms

You are across the universe
bending time

Across dark rivers of blood
you are sprayed into the audience
and the dream of peeling skin
and torn flesh

Monsters that eat celebrities
and nails to the cross

Fades into the night
and you're nearly with us

Our mud ball planet is now minus one
plus Gwar

We say goodbye
and it's a clear day

Your mother cries
tears of glass
but your father stands here
in a network of networks
and chaos

And all we see or seem
is but a dream
flowing by our own blood
and papier mache
that stopped your heart

Sitting in your chair
You played chess
and lost

Singing songs
of the town

Destiny - Zero 7

Barely Breathing

The clouds move in
and we can barely see

The mist wraps around us
like a cat curling around a shaft of light
on a warm summer's day
in sleep

to pounce upon us
and fill our lungs

The mask falls from the ceiling
and the lights flash in the aisle

And I know where to go
I know I am falling

for you

Equinox (First of the Year) - Skrillex/Tekken [AMV]

Passive. Aggressive.

A personality trait that is really hard to get rid of - is passive aggressiveness. It is one of those aspects of character that will interfere with relationships, and send most of the real intimacy and connection you have with someone - into a colder place.

For me, passive aggressive behavior is a form of defense. I will usually slip into passive aggressive when I feel attacked, but on a level where the action to defend myself has to be sublimated. Case in point - when I was a teenager, I used passive aggressive behavior to survive my parents. One of the places where we all had to lay down our weapons was the dinner table - and so I lapsed into a kind of non-talkative - noncommittal state where I would share as little of my day as I possibly could. I suppose your parents always love you - but when you're a teenager - you really want to go your own way. It's a shame, really - because one of the best memories I had of my childhood was breakfast conversation overheard at …

Blow Up The Outside World - Soundgarden/ Tokyo Underground

The Bird That Sings When The Dawn is Still Dark

When the morphine came
there was a catholic moment
when I thought I should refuse

I closed my eyes and visualized
myself without it
and decided it better
that this medicine is used

It helped. But not enough. The doctors had to do it again.
And still .
There was that moment of guilt.
That single flinching instant
where I have seen life as a game
and points collected for purity

No drink
Mastery of self

All at once swept away in a single decision

At night, later
in my hospital bed

I did not dare to dream
nor even sleep
for fear the pain returned

And when they asked me if I needed morphine
I finally broke down that wall
between me and all of the things
that were designed for this specific moment
and this specific use
There was a moment of sickness
very brief
and then I felt

At first, not necessarily free
nor happy
but focused

As if
I was not in dire pain
and I began to see
that this body
that holds me
can withstand much more
than being unable to breathe

This time
I was a little t…

Cherry Valance

In utero my mother ate cans of cherries
So it goes

Cherries are euphoria
I waste nothing

Sometimes, when I dream
I dream in red

I wake

A length of decorative veil
anchored to my sturdy bed

A solid, cool feel
in white sheets

like whipped cream
and hot cherry pie

I want you.


To my bed.

My teeth.

Your neck.

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Woman. With Puppy.

She does not hope
She plans

Life spins its web within her and by her
and she enjoys the earthy feeling of sand
the cold of water between her toes
the salt air

She throws a piece of bread into the sky
watching the gulls swoop down and take it from her hand
she laughs as they dance in the wind
squawking birds won't quit

Building castles
Her black and white dog jumps at the chance
to stick its dark nose into the sand
It comes up
a white dot echo of bozo
She laughs
and calls out

Her voice carries downwind
The dog makes a mad dash to her side
and she is just as happy to let it run off again

She is happy.
They are happy.

It is that one moment in life.
Where everything makes sense.
Because nothing makes sense.

We paint with simple strokes
Watercolors forgive

She returns home
And tunes her Cello
to the memory
that the tune matches place
and sound - tuning to a hall should always be different
than tuning to a chamber

And Plays
East of eden

Drawing at once in a paintbrush of sound

I Change

I change.
I'm not always the same.

The tensions in me are similar to the ones in you
I am pulled between evil and good.

I grow
I reach into new parts of my brain.

The thoughts that collide and feelings that hide
When I am honest with myself and you

I dissolve
The simple elements of my existence blur the lines between we two
The darkness of life - escapes from inside

It sees the thing it has become
And it screams.

I am become dust.
I am the cat. All places are alike.

Even now. And you.
A husband.
A child.

Somewhere -

The lamb lays down with the lion.
A shepherd tends quietly to his flock.

A job that slowly kills you
beating time against the clock

One life makes a difference to another.
One heart.

See how we are.