.... And this Chair.... (Part II)

Being I am now an adult, and I have successfully travelled through the breeding cycle and produced a beautiful girl and a boy (that is starting out way earlier than me, he's got three girls in his second grade class who have said they're going to marry him?! and one that calls him every day ? wtf!? ) ....

I'm spending suspiciously budding-author-like amounts of time writing and developing my prose... and when I am writing or coding or doing my research the world disappears. But to continue the thread, and for contrast - as a man, once child - here are the things I really want.

• A new computer. I have worn out two keyboards on this thing, replaced the graphics card and the disk is now failing slowly. I will probably get this thing. I will not get Vista. Windows 7 or die.
• A Red Epic (warcraft! epics, baby!) - An American made movie camera founded by my cousin's former employer , Jim Jannard. It shoots a better image than a 200 pound IMAX camera. This is the same camera that they used to shoot Lord of the Rings.
• A Tesla Motors four door sportscar. O-60 in 5.6 seconds. Yes, I'm on the waiting list. I'm driving a gay blue toyota corolla until then. Gay. Gay blue. Gay sky gay gay gay blue. Ok, it gets good gay blue gay sky blue gas mileage. But its the gayest gay blue you've ever seen in your life. What the hell. I'm probably heteroflexible anyway. I would have to be, in order to drive that gay sky gay blue car.
• A second wife. If you think that means assuming the position of the Nadu.. lets be clear.. you must be tall than this ... * lowers his hand to just below your standing height waist level * to ride this ride. Simply answer the following questions (no cheating!)..
  1. Why do people throw up, after they shoot up. (for extra credit, where can you shoot up so that people won't notice it?)
  2. The lyric "And I know I was wrong when I said it was true that It could have been me and her in between without you" by Robert Smith , of the Cure - was about
     1. Robert Smiths Longtime addiction to heroin
     2. A panegyric to his wife
     3. A code message meant for Siouxsie + the Banshees..
     - Discuss your answer..
  3. If you were given a choice between the two vacation destinations "Grandmas Glass Pony Shop" in Ouray Ice Park, Colorado , and an all expenses paid trip to a Honeymoon Suite in Rome, overlooking the Vatican, which would you carry six lengths of strong, soft mountain climber's rope? How about a strong , soft mountain climber?
  4. Essay Competition, Based on the following ingredients:
     
     • 1 1/2 lbs chopped dates
     • 3 tbsp maple syrup
     • 1 tsp vanilla
     • 2 tsp fresh orange zest
     • 1/4 tsp orange extract
     • 1/4 tsp allspice
     • 1/8 tsp cardamom
     • 1/2 c currants or other dried fruit of your choice
     • 1/2 c chopped pecans , walnuts or almonds (your choice)
     • 1/2 c of your favorite cereal
       1. chop dates and combine them with syrup, vanilla, orange, salt, and spices.
       2. stirr in the currants, nuts and granola until you have a firm consistency
       3. on a lightly oiled baking sheet, roll out the mixture to a uniform thickness of about 1.2 inch
       4. chill in freezer for about 15 min. then cut into bars
       
       
       Now, with this in mind. Take this item you have made, and write a short, one page fairy tale in which a prince rescues a priness from distress, and they both live happily ever after - where this item assumes a name that ends in "y" and plays the starring role (ex. skippy saves the day, howdy for the win,... ). Extra credit if you can write the wrapper you would use to put the protein-rich calorie grenade you've just made -into a role as lovable sidekick.
       
       Good luck ladies, and passable men! I mean. Ladies. Yes, the tricky part is submitting. But isn't it always the case? unless your name is Amber Dalton
       
       
• A swiss bank account. Oh wait. Maybe I already have one. Ok then I want another one.
• Cold hard cash. High denominations, preferably in krugerrand. I promise I will spend it wisely.
• Finally I want a weary grayish man costume that I can wear to work every day. So I can go into the office every day and say... " Boys I said how beautiful .. she glitters like a star." to my secretary.. and they will only see a faceless drone draped in black and gray. If it has some fog effects that would help as well..

Oh. And this Chair. And thats all I need. The Camera. The Car. The second wife. A weary grayish man costume. The swiss bank account. ... .... And this longboard.

And thats all I need...