Crush

How about I write a love letter
and fill it with explicit instructions
to tell you precisely what to do, to respond?

But thats not the way things worked out
I worshipped the ground you walked upon
maybe puppy love I was 8 years old
was it six miles or three, to your door
I always turned around and walked home

If the Teacher handed out an "A" it was mine or yours
like Karl Friedrich Gauss on a holiday , whatever number I wanted
Yeah, I'm going to be a poet
so fuck testing out of the second grade
I make the numbers do what I want
I wanted to make you do what I want
but you had other plans

I still remember how your teeth showed when you laughed
I remember how in Little League I went back for a catch
beware the hun in the sun
said the message from the stars

We laughed at the dumb coach who asked
Maybe we should we put on a cast
Yeah the same coach who spent all his time yelling at his son
who always seemed to be the one to played third base


So I quit little league and spent my time
playing "Hey Jude" on the bass
my Marshall amp
on the table
Peanuts bedcovers
and Charlie Brown standing on the pitchers mound
snoopy grabbing Linus' blanket in his mouth
Lucy holding the football and smiling

8 years old is far too young
to feel through someones skin
to see the world through their eyes
it wasn't too young to be your friend
but thats not what you were to me

I suppose
With a thrill in my head
and a pill on my tongue

I would have knocked your door
And if I had written the note in a simple way
Expressing only love
I suppose you would have got it
you would have known
you were the light of my life

Yes
writing this out
made me feel a little more brave
a little less afraid
Yeah, I chose the right girl
Somehow, that has always been one of my talents
It might surprise you how some girls turn me on
some don't
how my life is built around
psychological diversion
Someone I could love
without condition
A crush

I wasn't really that hurt when you threw the note back at me
it was a small town
I knew I'd pay the price one way or another
No
Mostly I was afraid I picked the wrong girl
but now
even today I can still feel your brand
of pain
Dark skin
but how do you get blonde hair?
how is it that you had blue eyes?
those details always kind of made me wonder
How do Brazilians , in one generation alone..
become blonde?
Il fait rien

My latin american
3rd grade
object of affection

for this I went to college.