Ending an SL Relationship
There was a moment in it all when she's relayed to me that she's PTSD - one never knows, IRL, what is going on with the other person but the important thing is not to care. But she makes it clear, as well, that she's in pain. But first, perhaps - a poet. Violent images in her work. An intense suffering. She said she blacks out and cant remember parts of her life. I leave the tender moment where it is - not wanting to go there. Since I primarily don't care what is going on IRL and am just curious about what you want to do SL, when in SL. So all of this is like an afterimage to me but not really her. We have coffee and go over more of her work. Later that night she makes a mistake and calls me whorish. So, I kick her out. But she leaves, by sort of walking off - which is not common. To get anywhere you want to go one normally takes teleport. She's gone, but basically in view. I live on a hill - she's just sitting there on the edge of the cliff near my home. And I can see her through the bay window. Before she left she said that she makes everyone mad at her - and that everyone is leaving her. Avies hide alot but she could not hide the fact that she was feeling down IRL. Honestly I feel that she was hurt; and at that point she was my responsibility. She didn't want to leave.
I think a moment, and then I decide to walk over to her. We're on a steep hill and turn to her and say.. " You know I've been thinking about that question about whether or not I'm a whore. Well I had to ask myself if you were right .. and I came up with the answer (assume voice of kool aid man)... OH YEAAAAAHHHH!!! " and I turn into ..
The KOOL AID MAN. 'All I have ice cubes for brains so all I know how to say is 'oh yeah'. We kid around. She throws darts - everytime she lands one, I say 'oh yeah!'. We are talking. Pattern. Interruption. It really was fun. [ And so shines a good deed]. Perhaps this was mutual instinct guiding each other to the fact that we're at least in some way compatible. Who knows that mysterious thing that goes on between a man and a woman. Or even between two men. Or two women. Or a woman and a dragon... or.. ok. You get the idea. And so after that we're sort of always there together, the entire time - Chat primarily - which is new for me at any rate. I have never frequented a chat room in cyberspace. Although I am an intinerant blogger. And so , in this way SL descends to chat room with graphics status. Cult of the mini-skirt, add IRC. And yes it is addicitive - I am even spending time during work - very rare for me and not good. I never play during work (except this blog but I type +fast+ and even do +some+ work here). Well at some point, she takes me home to see the family. Her RIL brother in-world - and I just thought he was a person at the party -if you can imagine, teleporting me in and saying, the whole time, that she knew inviting me was a mistake. Its wild, its like a New York penthouse. (I prefer the deck of a sailboat). She was saying .."I knew it was a mistake to bring you here." Now, just a little while before she had gave me a picture of herself IRL (which also kind of freaked me out since you'll get a picture of me when I'm dead and no sooner) and this whole skybox they're having the party at is , you know, kind of , So So Def. They're doing absinthe. Its getting wild - at least in that way. But again in a sort of chat room with graphics kind of way. So my instincts are up. And I am on cam. Note to people who build in SL. I can see everything. Go ahead and lock the door. I will go through it. So back at the crib, there are green fairies flying around all over. White leather sofas. Flat screen TVs. Danish modern. I did almost connect with a chinese girl topless on an American Iron Horse out in the front, but basically the obvious trappings of a sixth tint, fourth hue - cheerleader mentality expressed in new york vogue. Not to say the hostess was not polite, she was. And it was fun. I left to make my first sculptie as a gift to the hostess. I wonder if she ever got it..:)
She confided to me later that she was happy the way I got along with her friends, which is a nice feeling. One does not want to be rude. But honestly if one thinks its a neat trick to light up a joint, I would have to caution that there are others. I did not find the party, I'm sure, as entertaining as did she. The predator in me knows when to hide and blend in. >:) No, really - I mean I had a fun time because IRL I would never have gone to one of those things. Well at least pretty sure. So it was fun on that level. But drugs dull sensation.
We spent alot of time together after that as well. This is starting to graft into my real life, which is bothersome. Very distractive. And so, for me, finally it gets to the point where I've decided I want to do a contract. Clueless. As it happens, another girl I had met shows up and I am within the space of that night semi-betrothed. Actually she asks me, but its kind of a joke. That ends up not being a joke. And we're more or less on our way.
Now the key thing that tips me off as to how it all will go down is that we're both kind of stuck in stasis with SL - not really growing or doing anything worthwhile except dominating ea. others time. I decide if this thing is going to act, to take a snapshot of our lives at one point then lets at least make it a snapshot of a better life than this. I offer to her, that we should do a quest. And hands off, until we're done. This confuses her, but I explain that we need to be made. She does not really agree at first. We part/ and things are sketchy. But I find in her profile that she did commit to it and that was fun so, at that point I found again my focus and things started getting interesting , again in SL for me - I mean interesting in a sense where one can learn, grow and play in addition to developing ones emotional sphere. And thats fun.
Quite by chance, I think just before this, I met a very regal woman at my favorite scripters shops (thomas conover) and somehow we both sense in ea. other that we enjoy this place more than we really should. Its fun from the beginning. She shows me her front yard, where there is a crucifix and explains that she buried her boyfriend last week, and invited her friends over for a party. >:) Now, after the quest begins I realize that my new friend really can help me get on the right track with my quest + even better, I notice that my old flame getting stronger on her profile. The places she's going. So things are looking up.
After awhile, I am well on my quest + I considered it fair game for us to get back together. What was strange was that she sent me something of a parting notecard as if the fact that we were on a quest meant that we were eight sixed. Well after a point I realize she's getting stronger. Its clear from her profile. Now part of my quest was to gain power in-world. I am something of a natural aristocrat there, and have a natural feel for the delicate balance between respect of the other person - and realizing that you have a right to build as strong and as fast and as far as you want. And so I decide to contact her and she's locked me out. Declination of inventory offer. No more notecards for bonzo. And so I hire a tracker. A dom I know IRL that enjoys the hunt and that for a fee will locate anyone in SL. And she does. Very nice. So I have her lat/long and I fly in to the place where she was last, just to see what the place is like and she just happens to be there with her brother.
She walks right past me. And there was the moment. If you freeze frame you can see it... like that scene from the simpsons... where you see lisa breaking ralph wiggins heart. Thats what it was like for me. And so I'm trying to clear her out of the place she's in and I get banned somehow + then get myself un-banned and teleported back and she's still there. But I'm the invisible man. She and her brother leave. Without a word to me. I talk to her brother and he explains to me that he'll relay a message but primarily its between she and I. So I ping her back (where if i'm on mute, she never got the message) that this is the last IM. No response, I'm gone.
But then - I look around at where she had been and what she was looking for. And suddenly I realize. +This+ is a +really cool place+. And she found it! WMD Weapons it was called. The weapons are totally first rate. Not necessarily all original, but really good. It hits me. She is growing. She's started a land group (or maybe a business group) and she was visiting establishments that were fundamentally worthwhile, not just places where you can get a nice absinthe animation. I felt like the kool aid man again, if just a little bit. She's on her way and I am proud of her. Ah. I guess I'm not so mean. She was wrong, I'm not a whore. Never a whore. But I am definitely willing to learn.