The exercise of what one would do with a 200 year old woman who looks as if she's 30 is here left to the reader.
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Laura said…
I like jolly levels, that made me smile, thank you
My jolly levels have dipped way down, it’s true-
I gotta hold on through the weekend, I’m out of half my meds, and I can’t pick up the refills until I have more than about $25 in my account (25 borrowed dollars)- my credit card’s over the limit, so I can’t use that. My mother is sending me some money but it won’t be here till next week. I have some groceries and Bossy has enough food for a few days.
Laura said…
Are your jolly levels crummy, too? If so, I’m sorry, love. I actually have a tube of that puffy little bitch’s soft buttery crescent deliciousness in my fridge right now. I liked all the Pillsbury dough stuff, more smiles successfully achieved, thank you Yesterday was tougher than I thought at the time. I realized this morning that I somehow managed *not* to take any of my usual doses of the meds I’m not out of. How I managed to do that, I don’t know, it’s a bit out of character. Two hours later, all came to a halt and I was shivering under a blanket on the couch, hugging a folded blanket to my chest for about a half hour. Mom called, we talked a while, and then I had a long shower. Y’all, I don’t think I have what it takes to be The First Robin.
You’re saying you won’t play tricks on me there if I made a new account?
Did you see that Company of Wolves clip? That’s a gorgeous movie. You know what movie I went crazy about before Ghostbusters & Amadeus? Fuckin Splash….every time I walk up to a fishtank, I have to stop myself from smiling and waving at the inhabitants like I recognize them the way she does in one scene. The whole thing is so funny and sweet, plus John Candy. And more, like Fat Jack and Dr. Cornedbeef That little girl that plays the mermaid at the beginning looks very like I did for a while as a kid. I always liked 96 Tears
Laura said…
The sleep-haunting is the occasional strange and frustrating nightmare of having something extremely important and urgent to do or accomplish- with the maddening sensation of having to work so hard in order to speak or move in the slightest, smallest way to address the problem. I think I mentioned it before, I had another one of those a few days ago. Yeah Brain you were right, I didn’t need to see that shit, Lol. The odd thing is that it reminds me somewhat of the sleep paralysis episodes I had as a kid. During those, I thought I was completely awake, scared to death, and unable to move for what felt like ages. Different experiences but the same struggle to physically respond. Better sleep since, though- that’s nice.
And hey- Actual Good News, I have some money now and I’m about to pick up my refills. Oh Thank God- Me, in the pharmacy: “Is there a water fountain in here so I can take these right the hell now?” A text notification for my Effexor refill looks like censored non-swearing: “Don’t forget your Ef**** coupon!” And “Ef**** Coupon: 3DY4812” “Here’s your Effing Coupon, if it’s so darn tootin’ important to ya!”
This is the situation it seems I’m: Waiting out someone else’s 2nd marriage and/or unknown standard of personal transformation indefinitely- if ever- or maybe once we are too old to fuck- before I get to talk with him. To exist, to him. I have to be one of his online-only friends he doesn’t really talk to. Plus, this other marriage is apparently polyamorous and they are looking for extras. But no, I don’t get to be spoken to. All my post divorce romantic relationships have been brief and unsatisfactory at best, despite my efforts to give people a chance and be open to trusting a new person. Will I be waiting out my own patience and/or love in the process? Or yours? I don’t know. I wish you’d at least write something to me that’s just for me to read and not all of your BlueSky friends, your wife, or anyone else to read, too. You have to admit how shitty that feels.
I’ll probably still wind up making another account there before long. I feel so fucking stupid😭 I know I’m going to die doing that- waiting. Having waited my whole life for nothing, whatever else I did with my life. All the men near my age who aren’t attached seem to be toxic AF or gay or there’s some other glaring incompatibility problem. I don’t want to be in a relationship with anyone too young/old for me, not that there’s been any interest there, lol. That’s the thing, nobody’s interested in me; it’s something else about me they want or see, whether it’s there or not. I probably should’ve been a contemplative nun after all.
What is safer to you about the BlueSky placeholder ‘relationship’ you want with me, as opposed to writing to me? If you don’t trust yourself to be around me, that is. You’re still trying to tell me things in either relationship, it’s just murky and harder for me to understand what you’re trying to tell me on BlueSky. But I don’t get much of a choice here. It’s public smoke signals or fuck off, still. If you trust yourself enough around women to invite one you don’t know that well to have sex with you and your wife…then why don’t you trust yourself enough to even write to me?
Comments
I like jolly levels, that made me smile, thank you
My jolly levels have dipped way down, it’s true-
I gotta hold on through the weekend, I’m out of half my meds, and I can’t pick up the refills until I have more than about $25 in my account (25 borrowed dollars)- my credit card’s over the limit, so I can’t use that. My mother is sending me some money but it won’t be here till next week. I have some groceries and Bossy has enough food for a few days.
If so, I’m sorry, love.
I actually have a tube of that puffy little bitch’s soft buttery crescent deliciousness in my fridge right now. I liked all the Pillsbury dough stuff, more smiles successfully achieved, thank you
Yesterday was tougher than I thought at the time. I realized this morning that I somehow managed *not* to take any of my usual doses of the meds I’m not out of. How I managed to do that, I don’t know, it’s a bit out of character. Two hours later, all came to a halt and I was shivering under a blanket on the couch, hugging a folded blanket to my chest for about a half hour. Mom called, we talked a while, and then I had a long shower.
Y’all, I don’t think I have what it takes to be The First Robin.
You’re saying you won’t play tricks on me there if I made a new account?
Did you see that Company of Wolves clip? That’s a gorgeous movie.
You know what movie I went crazy about before Ghostbusters & Amadeus? Fuckin Splash….every time I walk up to a fishtank, I have to stop myself from smiling and waving at the inhabitants like I recognize them the way she does in one scene. The whole thing is so funny and sweet, plus John Candy.
And more, like Fat Jack and Dr. Cornedbeef
That little girl that plays the mermaid at the beginning looks very like I did for a while as a kid.
I always liked 96 Tears
And hey- Actual Good News, I have some money now and I’m about to pick up my refills. Oh Thank God- Me, in the pharmacy: “Is there a water fountain in here so I can take these right the hell now?” A text notification for my Effexor refill looks like censored non-swearing: “Don’t forget your Ef**** coupon!” And “Ef**** Coupon: 3DY4812”
“Here’s your Effing Coupon, if it’s so darn tootin’ important to ya!”
This is the situation it seems I’m: Waiting out someone else’s 2nd marriage and/or unknown standard of personal transformation indefinitely- if ever- or maybe once we are too old to fuck- before I get to talk with him. To exist, to him. I have to be one of his online-only friends he doesn’t really talk to. Plus, this other marriage is apparently polyamorous and they are looking for extras. But no, I don’t get to be spoken to. All my post divorce romantic relationships have been brief and unsatisfactory at best, despite my efforts to give people a chance and be open to trusting a new person. Will I be waiting out my own patience and/or love in the process? Or yours? I don’t know. I wish you’d at least write something to me that’s just for me to read and not all of your BlueSky friends, your wife, or anyone else to read, too. You have to admit how shitty that feels.
I’ll probably still wind up making another account there before long. I feel so fucking stupid😭
I know I’m going to die doing that- waiting. Having waited my whole life for nothing, whatever else I did with my life. All the men near my age who aren’t attached seem to be toxic AF or gay or there’s some other glaring incompatibility problem. I don’t want to be in a relationship with anyone too young/old for me, not that there’s been any interest there, lol. That’s the thing, nobody’s interested in me; it’s something else about me they want or see, whether it’s there or not. I probably should’ve been a contemplative nun after all.
What is safer to you about the BlueSky placeholder ‘relationship’ you want with me, as opposed to writing to me? If you don’t trust yourself to be around me, that is. You’re still trying to tell me things in either relationship, it’s just murky and harder for me to understand what you’re trying to tell me on BlueSky. But I don’t get much of a choice here. It’s public smoke signals or fuck off, still. If you trust yourself enough around women to invite one you don’t know that well to have sex with you and your wife…then why don’t you trust yourself enough to even write to me?