I Can

The odds are against me
I am not sure if she loves me
the world is cold
I am afraid

I hear indian music playing
A dark pale light cast
something gleams in the dark
I am alone

I reach into the bag across my belt
the talcum makes my hands dry
I jam my hand into the cleft of the rock
and with my legs press up against the sky
I am tired

The spider is white today
I have safely bivouaced beneath a ledge
I close my eyes and the pale light returns
one goes east. one goes west
both from the same wins blown
sleep is dreamless
I awake
feeling slightly horny

The mountain of black glass feels cool to the touch
lightless, gleaming, smooth
Each bolt, piton, rope - holding fast
Each purchase , my friend
Each ledge, my ally
Sometimes even my lover
Will you betray me?
And smoothly, in succession, my holds blur
I fall into a rhythm
three on
one off

And then somehow I am on top
And I look over
my legs dangling over the ledge
I want to hold on to something
I want to embrace to void
I am terrified of it

I want to bind the world with strong, soft rope
I want to make it so that you are forever safe

I look out over the ledge
still struggling to find the words
I whisper the words
Yes. I can

Into the void


M@ said…
That'd make excellent advertising copy for either REI or, let's say, the state of New York.
I have missed your words...how powerfully they still rip from you to me. Thank you.