Occupational Slumming

I am really good at running away from problems, sometimes. For example, I play virtual world games that are pretty good at replacing whatever mess of a life situation I have going on before me, with an idealized representation of someone, or myself - in a world where the trash doesn't pile up, the deadlines are never life or death, and in fact, nobody has to eat, sleep, or even brush their teeth.

At work, I can schedule really lame work over really important stuff - with peculiar aplomb. If its life or death important, I can quietly try to put it off, by doing something that is easier, but doesn't have as much impact. I can hide in simple jobs, feeling that I am actually accomplishing something when in fact, the bigger work is still undone.

And then after all of that , I am normally left with a firestorm of work that needs to be completed or it will consume me whole. And suddenly , and predictably, the adrenaline kicks in and I get that work done as well. I seem to need the adrenaline rush of looming deadlines. But the sense the work that need be done - is not being done - it kind of drives me and annoys me at the same time.

I've found whats effective is to take something not out of the top, IE life or death category, but something from the middle, that will really fix something but not necessarily solve all my problems. I can use that as a purchase hold to get up to the thing I really need to get done.

And yes, this applies to my personal, financial, and business interests as well as my research interests and even my writing. Write something decent, and strong - and you will be able to use it to get out of that mode where you feel as if all you can do is clear out all of the occupational slumming.

Maybe one day I will even have a beer or something. And just calm down and enjoy other peoples company. I really got a kick yesterday out of being so completely exhausted after a day's work , and going shopping. Falling asleep in one of the chairs in the mall that they leave for husbands and boyfriends, strategically placed next to the boutique.

I was half awake - and I opened my eyes to see a pretty indian girl smiling at me. I decided, why wake completely? I just took my blood pressure, heart rate, all of that. And kept it there. Smiling. It was like being on drugs.

Watching all of these people. Tracing the lines of their tattoos or how they've dressed up to be seen - the whole mall thing, walking around. Flirting. Following the gait of their walk. Their speech. Just soaking in the whole of humanity. It was great.

Then I got a steak sandwich from a guy who seemed to be about my age. Ok. Maybe I'm not completely occupational slumming. I could be working that counter.

But Obama made nomination, I've somehow made my goals for the month. Its time to light it up and write it up.