An Open Letter To Bjork. From a fan. Want to date?

I heard you were single.
I'm single , too. Except that I'm married, you know.
And I've got a mistress. And uh. I guess. A friend with benefits.

And .. well ok.. you get the idea.

But seriously, I really am single.
If it were me and you.

Because I understand the dynamic
and let's face it.
Spit and snot were underrated.

Spit is great when you're in these forties, you know.
I mean, christ. I'll spit on it.

It gets going all the faster, all the same.

Hey, look. I think, your last boyfriend.
Wait, so he was your husband? Ok.

He was a total trip. But. Doesn't he kind of bring
the concept of screwing yourself to new mountain climbing heights?

Seriously, what man would let the fire of a relationship
with you, Bork... die?

Homo, or lumberjack?

So listen. It would be this really great ... kind of

Taylor Swift moment with glitter and sparkles...

you know, the kind that show
you really care.

With a full camera crew.

Horrible Motorcrash.

Bloody bloody.

Ah. So wow, ok. ... Where do we go from here, Babe? You know my sign.
My sexual preference is often. consensual. and
with you.

See? I can do marketing stuff also.
Just watch me struggle a little too much.

Maybe. I'm trying too hard.

I am after all.
Just a dancer
in the dark

But. If you get the chance, to ruin my already ruined marriage
and to let me see once again that I am typing
and all the words are as if they are on a