What I can, and can't take. In a marriage.

I am a pretty strong person, when it comes to relationships. Socially, I suppose I could be classed as an introvert. However, I am not shy or withdrawn. I do not shrink from discussion in group or before an audience, nor do I knowingly or willfully destroy friendships. I have a circle of friends, colleagues and acquaintances. And I am also married.

But I have limits. These are wife-tested, and perhaps not wife-approved.

My first limit has to do with being pushed into a catch-22 situation on the life/death aspect of my wedding vow. For example, I will not assist or aid in the death of my spouse. Til death do us part, means a natural death - and one that I will not help her to find.

There are obvious exceptions to this - for example, if she is being eaten alive by a shark , or a zombie. Ok, well maybe not the shark. I would shoot the shark first. But if a zombie bites you, it's all over.

The second limit relates to what I'm supposed to do regarding my own family, including my kids. It's not fair for a wife to say "it's either me , or your family" , because I never had a choice into which family I was born. I was ectoplasm before I was born. My mother carried me and delivered me into the world. My dad held me when I was a baby. Probably changed his fair share of dirty diapers. They deserve respect. At least, whatever level of respect I can afford them. And my wife should not pit me against them. I am going to make up my own mind about whether or not I hate my mom or my dad - all I can promise my wife is that I will not involve myself in any conspiracy against her, with them.

Finally, if I discover that my wife is in fact, a flesh eating zombie (!) - whether our marriage has lasted six years or twenty - I think it's fair to say that first, she probably did a great job with her makeup all of those intervening years and deserves credit for it - but I think that I should be allowed to see other women. At the very minimun, if one of those women happens to be a marriage counselor.

Preferrably, a relatively plump and tasty marriage counselor. Who can't run very fast.