Confession: I need you to understand something
Confession
I need you to understand something.
I need you to understand faith.
My faith is my faith in you.
My love is my love for you.
My life is my life lived for you.
My heart. Is your heart.
This is an eternal golden braid.
A skein woven of space and time and light and spirit.
Unbroken.
Shimmering in the dark.
It is a mystery.
It is hope.
It is despair.
It is darkness.
The kind you think is not a part of your life.
The kind you feel at night, in the quiet.
The kind that whispers of the immortal now.
The everpresent then.
The past that never left you.
The future receding to the horizon.
This is a confession of hatred.
A confession of love.
The hurt in my heart that I wanted to drive away.
The drive itself, long, boring, uneventful.
The point at which you throw yourself awake.
The strange reasons for why you live.
Thankful that you did.
This is a confession of faith.
That all life is sacred.
That your heart . Touched my heart.
That my life. Touched your life.
This is creepy action at a distance.
This is love.
This is the sense that no matter what happens.
No matter what we say. Or do.
That somehow. We will become better people.
And we will do what we need to do.
Both you. And I .
And this is a confession.
That I know it will hurt.
And that I know that I hurt you.
And I am sorry.
This is a confession.
I need you to understand something.
I need you to understand it's ok to listen.
And I need you to understand it's ok to wait.
I need you to know. I am coming for you.
And one day.
I will be there.
One day when you least expect it.
And we will be able to at last, relax. And enjoy that moment.
And this is a confession.
I need you to understand something.
That every moment we live, every love we share -
our faith
even playful as it is
Leads us to become
creator
And from our work, undying, the promise of page
the dark electron
and wrinkled line
Comes age.
We were together when we were young.
We will be together when we die.
I was afraid. Of death. I saw it in your eyes.
But I am not afraid any longer.
Because I learned, slowly - shedding layer upon layer
and of course, a hell of a lot of really good drugs
I learned that I love you in all your forms.
Ad majorem dei gloriam
Opus Dei
My prayers fold
about you,
your child, your love,
your circle
They are a blind hope
A submission
The prayer that we will feel today,
now. The wonder of life
Love.
Power exchange.
Wonder twin powers activate.
Show me your father's grave.
I will pick up a handful of earth.
And lay it where he rests.
A good man.
He knew your name.
Together. We will feel the air.
See the stone. Touch its surface.
Your name will echo throughout time.
My bloody valentine.
I need you to understand something.
I need you to understand faith.
My faith is my faith in you.
My love is my love for you.
My life is my life lived for you.
My heart. Is your heart.
This is an eternal golden braid.
A skein woven of space and time and light and spirit.
Unbroken.
Shimmering in the dark.
It is a mystery.
It is hope.
It is despair.
It is darkness.
The kind you think is not a part of your life.
The kind you feel at night, in the quiet.
The kind that whispers of the immortal now.
The everpresent then.
The past that never left you.
The future receding to the horizon.
This is a confession of hatred.
A confession of love.
The hurt in my heart that I wanted to drive away.
The drive itself, long, boring, uneventful.
The point at which you throw yourself awake.
The strange reasons for why you live.
Thankful that you did.
This is a confession of faith.
That all life is sacred.
That your heart . Touched my heart.
That my life. Touched your life.
This is creepy action at a distance.
This is love.
This is the sense that no matter what happens.
No matter what we say. Or do.
That somehow. We will become better people.
And we will do what we need to do.
Both you. And I .
And this is a confession.
That I know it will hurt.
And that I know that I hurt you.
And I am sorry.
This is a confession.
I need you to understand something.
I need you to understand it's ok to listen.
And I need you to understand it's ok to wait.
I need you to know. I am coming for you.
And one day.
I will be there.
One day when you least expect it.
And we will be able to at last, relax. And enjoy that moment.
And this is a confession.
I need you to understand something.
That every moment we live, every love we share -
our faith
even playful as it is
Leads us to become
creator
And from our work, undying, the promise of page
the dark electron
and wrinkled line
Comes age.
We were together when we were young.
We will be together when we die.
I was afraid. Of death. I saw it in your eyes.
But I am not afraid any longer.
Because I learned, slowly - shedding layer upon layer
and of course, a hell of a lot of really good drugs
I learned that I love you in all your forms.
Ad majorem dei gloriam
Opus Dei
My prayers fold
about you,
your child, your love,
your circle
They are a blind hope
A submission
The prayer that we will feel today,
now. The wonder of life
Love.
Power exchange.
Wonder twin powers activate.
Show me your father's grave.
I will pick up a handful of earth.
And lay it where he rests.
A good man.
He knew your name.
Together. We will feel the air.
See the stone. Touch its surface.
Your name will echo throughout time.
My bloody valentine.
Comments
Fucking read this poem you wrote to some other temporarily-important woman you tossed over your shoulder- maybe right after spraying cum on her face. Fucking Liar.
I went out for a walk yesterday afternoon in my neighborhood. I walked on sidewalks past tidy houses & the occasional McMansion. I walked past the house on that corner I call “Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle’s House”, a sweet, tree-shaded bungalow with old-fashioned ‘gingerbread’ architectural accents, including a ship’s wheel (in those children’s books, her late husband had been a pirate back in the day). I walked past the ranch house where they display a collection of Santa Clauses in the picture window every Christmastime. The dogwood blooms are coming out, and I looked down and saw so many little violets blooming in the crayon-green grass of someone’s front yard, and a sudden wave of tears in my eyes and throat almost knocked me over.
I kept walking, and willed the spasms in my throat away, telling myself soothingly as to a child in my head, “I know…I know…it hurts…it hurts so bad….” I have to tell her myself because there’s nobody else here for me, but me.