Tin Foil for a Big Girl

Its been so long
that I can't explain

And its been so long
that now
so wrong

My thoughts are creeping
too late
the show has begun

like gorillas gathered around
this great big black monolith
I smash a jawbone on the ground
you look inside
hear the sound of a harpsichord
see disraeli gears turn in the dark
speak neon dreams

catch a few waves

Just like.
used to make

its a lot of work
keeping up with the work
force times distance
bet you're gonna be
gonna be a hot dancer

don't forget to use the word little
when you talk about my dying church
nigger woman pastor
dont forget to smile when you know you're right
true love waits

am i thinking of church, or singing?
my favorite film is apocalypse now
throw a priest into the jungle?
add a few natives, and you get some hot scenes

add salt

I dont know the name of the thing I'm inside
I try to find my way
I forgot to mention being half asleep
that I like being dull
less edges
to be caught within the web
of someone else's flesh
through which I pass

in this darkness I can still hear the sound of your voice
cold and warm and happy to wait for me
I twist and turn
here am I in my own little bubble
using the little sparks of air to keep me from embolism

the great big fart sound

I guess this isn't about
the armies of death
or the image of the great mother
who puts us to sleep
with a single text message beep
or all the dying memories
leading me here
to this perfect day for bananafish
communion wine
happy animals dancing on the label

here on or in this river of darkness alone

I have to tell you
in between when I run out of air
and they choke me until I piss myself
and stick me on a spit
and throw the party and start drinking
until they vomit
I have this really great story
ignore the fact that I am crushed into a ball right now
asians. you have to take it in stride..
they do stuff like that.
talk is cheap

So anyway.

We drove out in jeeps
it was the middle of the forest
I dropped into a little hole
the size of your desk
down into the depths
my dive instructor taught me how to walk on the ceiling
so I tried it out

I was above and he went out way below
I dropped down
and when he returned cut my head off

Back at the dive shack on the river
taking my written exam

I heard this story
three or four sentences long

They pulled him out
and you know what?
he was covered in red georgia clay
he must have drifted for miles

the death of the ball turret cave diver

- ok. thats all you get.
and you're gonna have to pay a quarter
just like everybody else