Speechlessness is a speech phenomenon that can rapidly strike any living male over the age of five within as many feet of a beautiful woman. If her name happens to be Amber, long silences struggling to be able to articulate any sound at all - coupled with nervousness, increased heart rate, and ice cubes rolling off your forehead may result. I volunteer to perform a scientific study of this mysterious phenomenon - if you happen to look like the person above - please feel free to contact me, to participate in the study. All study participants will be eligible for free dinners, long walks on the beach and a back massage. Its just a back massage. Honest. I promise.