My Ideal Wife - A Marriage Counseling Homework Assignment

We met the marriage counselor in a room in the public library. She took notes, listened to us and then assigned both of us work.

My homework assignment is to describe the ideal wife. The purpose of the exercise is to base the idealization largely on experience and elements of the person who seems to be inhabiting wifespace.

My ideal wife is a balance of temperance, intellect, spirit and beauty. She is daring, kind of outdoorsy, brave, and loves children. The small moments of the morning are part of her domain. It's important not to be too specific here, because a day with my ideal wife is like a journey that ends in night - where we're onto each other like two minx.

She is fair to the children, and to others - and is not harsh or severe in her judgement. She likes to take apart ideas, statements - and at the same time trusts her heart and spirit enough to leave a few of them together and let them work. She listens to the kids and they respect her - but she does not have to resort to shouting or threats to get things done.

She does an equal share of work around the house. She is by and large clean, she isn't exactly a neat freak because neither am I - and she isn't too interested in too many little knick knacks all over the place. But she is responsible, and simple when it comes to livingspace and she keeps things clean and nice. Things that are meant to do something don't get shut down - for example, she doesn't pile things up on the tables so we can't eat dinner - or leave things on the chairs so we can't sit down.

She is someone I would want to go to Burning Man with - a place where it might be kind of hard to live - offset by the experience. She likes to go camping. She loves fresh fish. She makes the children laugh around the campfire, and she can tell a good story.

She's an erotic submissive. Sex for her is natural and fun - but she can also talk about it. Kink is not a closed subject for her - but she is also Victorian, in at least some of her sensibilities. She teaches the children a sense of strict rules regarding their own conduct but at the same time she truly and honestly - in private - likes sex. And the desire for sex can come and go. But she enjoys being used as a tool in bed - being picked up and thrown down and all the fun kinky things we would do if the kids weren't around sleeping in bed with us right now. (we're building out their room downstairs)

She is non-submissive in her daily life - in fact, dominant of other women and in general - of other soft-minded people in the world. That said, she focusses her energy on fixing the world and uses her dominance for positive benefit. She is not afraid of the devil.

She is adventurous. The idea of picking up and heading off to Africa has to appeal to her. The fact that Africa is her favorite place in the world is a source of endless wonder to me. There are other things about her that are a source of wonder - she is earthy, and interesting and the elements of her character, her likes, dislikes, interests and goals are shared. I want to be a part of something fun. She enjoys life.

My Ideal wife is not bent out of shape about her appearance, or really all that girly girl but at the same time she's clean and takes care of herself.

One thing my ideal wife would never do: if something was wrong with her, she would never lie about it - or pretend that it wasn't a part of her. Say she had some kind of chronic illness. She'd take her medicine. Sure, she'd have to face the fact that something is wrong with her - but she'd do whatever was necessary to take care of herself. She would be a healthy and clean person, who would be fun to be around - to discover, to care for, and to grow old together.

She doesn't really have to look like Betty Page all the time.
* clears throat *