Black, White and Red

It was mostly by accident we met
Cruelty and I
merciless punishment meted against
compulsions I deny

red and black
a black rank
of lambs led to the slaughter
on the tangled bank



At first, I wasn't sure we could be friends
I was seeing truth at the time
not the younger one,
but her sister

I am not polyamorous
which means
Every time I am faced with another love
I am torn apart
until I can find the white queen
and ask her again
why she is running

The sound of her voice
helps me decide
It is so sweet
from the latin Persuade

Latin persuadēre, from per- thoroughly + suadēre to advise, urge
to sweeten
saccharine, cloying

I will say
before I leave
The meeting with the queen
never goes well
It always leaves
me waking up in the middle of the night

because she whispers to me
the origin of words
their real meaning
are an ocean
unknowable

except at the shore
And reminds me
of the time
I stood upon that shore
and left my brother

But the meeting is done
The white lady came
and I chose freedom

Then
So I let myself go
to meet her
like someone from Craigslist

Keep it in a public place
Keep it discreet


She and I met somewhere for coffee
I liked her immediately

She told me that life seems to be a process
of replacing one anxiety with another
and substituting one desire for another


She said to me:
Do not satisfy desire

Instead: Build into your strivings
an awareness of the way our goals promise us a respite
and a resolution
that they cannot
by definition deliver

She said: Beyond freedom and dignity lie a society
of order.

She said: Freedom is something
we can no longer afford.


And so began a wonderful friendship
that lasted exactly seven years
I spent most of it
building things that kept me from actually feeling
anything at all


And now
This past week

I have finally come to resent
her impassive effeciency

In all love,
we learn to see the world from another's eyes
to live with them
to love them for their faults
as well as their unutterable beauty

Sometimes so much
your head explodes into candy

Love is sustained by a bond of gratitude
which , because men are self interested
is broken when they see a chance
to benefit themselves

But fear is sustained by a dread of punishment
that is always effective


It was, I suppose, inevitable
but it does not make me feel happy
to say Goodbye

I sat yesterday
with the white lady
running


I meet her here
in deserts of vast eternity

The grave a fine and private place
None I think, do here embrace

And once again I stand on the shore


If you knew her
you would understand
why I am
in a rock hard place

And why I even dream of freedom
again
and pay a visit to the white queen


Freedom finally comes
this time at a terrible price
but it is mine

Do not forget
Do not forgive

You are the 99 Percent
You are legion

I have seen
Ships on fire in the belt of orion

All of this one day will be lost
Like tears

In Rain