Driveway Song of Solomon

It's important to be open to yourself about moments in life. It's kind of a bit like health. It's a good idea to just sit down with a pencil or a pen, and write everything that you feel is uniquely going on with you healthwise, then come up with a plan that is really unique to you. Like false religion , spectrum multivitamins and one size fits all approaches don't really work.

Moments in your life can be moments you can feel. They are the expression of an infinite soul. Even if you will never change the world, you are still unique and wonderful and those moments are part of a beautiful journey that can be both intensely painful and a harbinger of joy.

If you numb yourself to feeling one thing, no matter what it is - it will only numb you to feel something else. That is a serious danger. Don't let it happen. Even if it hurts. It's better to feel pain than it is to pretend it doesn't exist. This is a path to pleasure. You will quickly find that most of the things you were trying to avoid, were things that could not be avoided anyway. And most of the things you feel when you let go of the idea that you could numb yourself away from them - are more than enough to balance the sleepless night, or the broken heart. That might result.

After all. We're all imperfect, aren't we? Aren't there some ways to simply accept it, and move on? If you have a problem falling asleep, ever since you were little - isn't it better to be with someone who might be awake at the same time, but really into doing things that wear you out...? Exhaustion is alot cheaper than xanax, and you get alot more done.

Confront a part of you that you internalized. It's better not to be a street fighter when these come along. Toughness has a place. But not here. Really. You're not going to win. Some would in fact, say , listen to the will of God. This is, of course, the same ones that will also tell you that religion is no longer about faith and mystery but about certainty. They'll also tell you twenty virgins will await you in heaven, if you submit to it all. And really, isn't that what fundamentalism is about for these people? A way to shield themselves from the world. A synthetic 21st century catechism all too easily applied. This is an occupational hazard of living in a century of mechanized life and corporations whose interest is to create a group of people they can farm. We have, as a society, adopted views about certainty and blame because they're convenient for those in control. But if you think about it, that part deep within - might find it a little inconvenient to be able to see you're living a lie.

I will take one perhaps not so virginal woman, in real life - over twenty virgins in the afterlife.
Losing virginity has its place, but God made something here, in this world - that draws you into its mystery
and carries you forward . If you listen.

A jesuit moment such as this oftenincludes shame , and fear. Why am I here? What decisions did I make, to be here? Where am I going? Am I dangerous to hearts and minds?

There is a sense that we are both here, alive. But are we really living the life we could live? A great church I visited a few times, mostly because it really only takes a few times - is the Paramhansa Yogananda Center and Fellowship for Self Actualization. This is a place where Christ, and Buddha, and Krishna - are all enshrined. Worship consists of meditation as much as it does a simple speech, that is designed to turn your thought and contemplation inward to find and celebrate the beauty of God.

Many moments like this are really hard to accept. We like to be in control. We like to predict things. Love is the perfect example of something that changes you, forever. It is unpredictable. Scary. Real. And that is why it is easy to confuse with the whisper of God.

Leaves on the trees can be vivid shades of green. The light reflecting from the surface of a pool becames the light of a dawn. The dark night gets pushed back and sleep comes. You can dream deeply, wake strong. You can be weak , when you see her. Maybe not even be able to talk. You can love someone so much, you could tell them you love them every day of your life.

And of course, you should.

But sometimes you try to make yourself believe that you can't tell her the real ways you love her. A little less than half of the reason might be that there are no words. You can love someone that much. Sometimes, I wonder if that is where words themselves come from. A mother singing to her son. A song that begins far and away.

The majority of it is fear. A fear that if you did tell her, you would somehow shut down the thing that helps her to be who she is. Or if you told him.

The truth is she will change, and you will change. The idea that an ideal woman exists, or an ideal man - "the one" .. is true. There can be one person for you. And for me. But the parts of her that you love will be the part that don't stay the same but change as well. You will love the little things and the big things. It's not always smart to tell her everything. But there is a great courage to real love. Something that calls you to be just a little better than you are. It's not a safe bet. It's competitive. It's dangerous. And everyone can feel it.

But only a few, are brave enough to follow it.

This kind of thing can and will leave you sitting in the driveway wondering what's going on - holding the steering wheel. Sure, fine. You're going nowhere. So what. It's a moment in time. It's a gift.

Love transcends time and space. It is part of us. Our immortal soul grows a bit stronger each day. This is something that works against all of the lies, all of the falseness in the world. It is something that is like a wild horse, that will try to throw us off. It is a part of us both. And some of it is within you, just as it is within me. But some of it is not. Some of it comes directly from a higher power. One that precisely does not want us to be going nowhere, rather the exact opposite.

Love is as strong as death. Its passions are as cruel as the grave and its flashes of fire are the very flame of God.
When we become who God wishes us to be. We will set the world on fire.