Praise Bob

Brothers and Sisters, Today I heard the words of heresy spoken. Yeah and verily I declare there exists one of you out there in cyber-land that do NOT know the true meaning of "Praise Bob". Oh, mine eyes have been opened. Let us rescue the sinners and equip the saints.

Do you need your cortex reformatted? The memory card pulled out, and put back in better than before? Do you need to go pick up some groceries today? Does your daughter like Cheese Ravioli? Have I ever dressed up as a Woman in Second Life? Do you ever surf the Internet while you are at work?

If the answer to any of these questions is "Yes" then YOU may need a cerebral reformatting. Thats right folks. Take out the holy memory card.

Don't thank me. Instead, this Sunday - I want you to donate! Put on some special clothing and click on my ads at the top of this blog! Give, give give till it hurts to other sources of enlightenment and free wednesday dinners such as churches, synagogues, sex clubs, golf courses, and comic book and video stores run by guys named 'Sam'.

And now go, with the gift of SLACK you may proceed through your Friday, pretending to get work done. Stop for a moment and ergonomically adjust your chair for maximum productivity. Caffeine and Sugar await you at an office of your choice!

This has been a message from the Church of the Subgenius, which is wholly responsible for its content. Salvation guaranteed or triple your money back.