A personal request
The physical stuff is manageable and won't get in the way for my Triathlon this saturday. Somehow I have developed an amazing ability to trip the circumference of a tire. Not just one lying on the ground, but around the cicumference of a bike tire propped up against the wall. I was trying to walk between the bike , and the tire, to get around to the back of the bike. I jumped. The top of my foot caught the edge of the tire and I spun around the tire and landed both knees flat on the ground. from like, three feet up. I said a few choice words.
But more than anything its emotional and psychological stress that is killing me now. The audit flag went off today when I noticed that the barber had shaved off nearly all of my hair. It took me until this afternoon to even see it. Normally you notice stuff like that. Things have been weighing me down far too much.
Work is just kicking my ass. Hardcore. As much as I am cheery person to talk to on the street, I am wedged so far between a rock and a hard place the only way out is to go straight through them both - it will break all of the bones in my body.
The worst part is I have an overriding urge to smoke a cigarette . Don't ask why that bothers me so much, but it does. I run. And its still there. Here I am 20 miles for the week and it still hasn't gone away. I am almost wishing for one last sharp bolt of pain. It does not come. And I am blacking out now. I hate that.
So. I need help. And I need it seven times.
This is it: do something nice to something, or for someone as soon as you possibly can. Let it take something out of you. I don't mean like, cooking a nice dinner or something. I mean finding something that is hurt + making it right.
A part of you will have to die, just a little bit. You will have to take the pain and make it right. I don't care if the object of your help is animal, plant, human, or mineral. It can be a cat, a dog. A person. A kid. A spouse. Lover. Friend. Enemy. Its up to you.
I don't know who you are. I am not sure why I am asking this. But I know that I need this. What have you done. today.