A reader I didn't count on.

Wow, I have one more reader that I didn't think was actually on my blog. My mother . Today she glibly explained to me that her interpretation of my blog was that I wanted to be left alone because I had so few comments. I am impressed and at that same time..

Ok, that hurts. I mean, sure I knew my posts weren't as good as goddess mist 1's but I mean thats your fucking mom. And then you have to think, wow - she could be reading this. Ok, so lets get some things straight. Some for you, some for me.

First, mom, here's the uruguayan rock band drummer that you dated and later married in the late seventies, and no, I don't know if he's still alive either. Right mouse, save target as and you'll have the mp3 on your hard disk of his last work before he went in for throat cancer work.

Ok. Second, mom. Yes. There's kinky sex here. Its a big subject for me. I am a top. I .. guess the best way to explain it is.. if everyone were carrots and bunnies.. I'd be a little bunny. Ok? I am not harming anyone but - things will get kinky here.Because they're just not kinky enough in the real world. I am working diligently to bring the world to the public and open acceptance of soft bdsm. I respect you but in the end this is +my+ blog and the best thing for me to do is ignore so if you call me up after a post you disagree with, and try to tell me over the phone about it.. ... well. you get the picture. why not just make an alias, and leave a comment? nobody would know who you are and you could tear me apart and I'd never know. I appreciate your ideas about wholesome goodness. Its just not the world I live in or want to live in. And yes, mom, I'm christian even though you are into all of those god damned miracles and refuse to go to church even though I did their website and sing in the damn choir.

Third, and most importantly - this is a blog perhaps even more so than kinky sex - not sure - ... to MAD SCIENCE. Your comments are +extremely+ welcome since you are the queen of screwing with my head and have done a fantastic job raising me to be a semi-successful person. (Thanks). So these posts that are as much about me screwing with my own head would be twice as nice if you tried. Now, that doesn't mean you'll succeed because we both know we've evolved ways to define our space. This blog is not just a distraction from my work its +part+ of my work. To connect the dots between the work I posted on Noam Chomsky, e-language, specific relationships between sex partners, and the church of the subgenius - thats the trick to understanding and enjoying this thing. It has easter eggs hidden all over! Now Easter Eggs and careful reading, are going to be hard for you mom, since you're a UGA alumni. You might need someone to read the big words for you. Its ok. I'll type slowly so you can read the big words a little better.

... and while we are on the third topic, I promise that MAD SCIENCE is not about writing innuendos about my immediate family so you're safe there. And this doesn't mean I hate them (I do!) it just means that the blog is not about them. I won't write about anything except for your stupid yorkies. Those things are just wierd. I love them,I mean, but the way you deal with them, makes me believe you're not into dogs, you're into crippled little human beings. MAD SCIENCE requires that you try to use the language and tone they use (body language, barking) instead of the cute little words (ookie snookums, did oo do a little surprise for me here on the carpet?).

Fourth, and finally - I'm an adult and I'm going to continue to post whatever I think is cool. This will include kinky sex, politics, drugs, the relative tensile force that either ex, or current girlfriends sex can apply to my member, death, politics, art, endurance sports, cryptography (* you will never break my best code, mom so don't even try), religion, violence, surfing, music and finally anything else that I think of. This is the open internet, I'm perfectly happy with you discussing this site with my dad, or my uncles, or anyone else in the family. But remember, being a cheerleader or the town crier got you fired from your last job and I don't care if you sued them and won a big settlement and now you're sitting pretty - the moral of the story is, what happens in mexico +stays+ in mexico and I'm an adult now. And I'm totally freaked out that you read the story about my ex girlfriend - don't do that. I will not discuss things with you from my blog over coffee, mom. If you want to say something write a comment.

Finally, you're my mom. You played beethoven to me when I was little. It was beautiful. Why don't you do that anymore? So, anyway - you are right. I write these posts and pound away on my poor readers without ever opening the door to them. You could have picked on anything but the fact that theres no comments here. That just hurts. Really it does. And I know I have to do something about it. I am going to up my honesty level here. I write a post here. And its.. crickets. No more!

Ok. I know you're there. I can hear you breathing. If you're reading this post, please just comment. Just say something. This is your vote. My mom has a new plan for my blog.. she wants me to either completely shut this little mother down, or to write, I am sure, about the wonders of vegetarianism, the evils of dairy . Sorry. I prefer..