Wasting My Hate

Ah, in the middle of the night - how wonderful. I went for a walk, tearing out my hair, trying to solve a problem. I would walk for a quarter of a mile down a dark path, eyes closed - every now and then stopping to collect. At some point I sprinted as hard as I could. It must have seemed strange. But thats peripatetica.

When I returned, for some reason I checked the mail before I went in. My priorities were straight again. This fucking blog is not one of them. But here I am, because .. well.. you'll see.

So. I got a letter. This is the second letter I've received this year - bills excluded. So I take it to bed, seeing as how its fucking 3 AM. And I read it.

Then the faint odor of kitten mistakes catches my nose and I spend the rest of the time cleaning up their stupid mistake. And that voids the area of my bed, letter still sitting there. Opened carefully. Reeking of catshit.

Which leaves me with one of two options, finish up the work I started in my head during the walk - or try to sleep avec l'essence du petite-chat. So here I am, taking my lazy ass up to my workstation, and I pen the first lines of my lifes work.

Enter. SMS. But she didn't think I would reply. She was still out there partying. Alright. Lets look at things. Why is it that, as soon as my thoughts crystallize, a letter appears? Then as soon as I pen the page, I get text.

She doesn't have the time to read or respond - too busy with life on revolutionary road. Routines. Schedules. Calendars. But thats not my life.

For me, Hatred arrives on wings. I truly. Truly. Hate. Everything. I have had enough of it all. Everything. I could stand in the woods and listen to the dumb chirps of crickets and count them out. Mindless creatures. Chirping the exact temperature. What would they sound like in Hell. I hate the entire world. Everyone.

Except her .

Tattoo on right shoulder: "So It Goes". Now go away. I'm going to get this fucker done. Its more important than anything else in the world right now. Except her.