Colorless Green Ideas

Duct tape has so many uses its so strong flexible We can bind a camera to the handlebars of our bike We can tape the cover of a trampoline Someone once asked the question How is duct tape like 'the force'? to which they answered you have a light side, you have a dark side and you bind the universe together Someone once told me I have a lyric command of the english language I vowed then and there, that I would write a poem about duct tape And as I penned these final lines the wind whipped through the trees the rain came down in sheets And I finally retired my pirates of the carribean magic eight ball You know, the one with the head of a skeleton The one that I got at McDonald's About three years ago Yes. I gave it a proper burial I just chucked into the trash. Magic and all. I stopped writing this poem, and took a drink of water And wondered.. Can anyone really write a poem about duct tape? I remembered you could make a wallet out of duc...

I love you always

Alright, word is now coming out that the bill coming out of committee is one tailor made to make the lobbyists happy - its not real universal healthcare at all, its a toxic fake based on the Massachusetts model, that won't solve our problem at all . Here's a quote from a study on that system .. PNHP’s study of the Massachusetts model found that the state’s 2006 reforms, instead of reducing costs, have been more expensive than expected. The budget overruns have forced the state to siphon about $150 million from safety-net providers such as public hospitals and community clinics. Many low-income residents, who used to receive completely free care, now face co-payments, premiums and deductibles under the new system - financial burdens that prevent many of them from receiving necessary medical treatment. Since the state’s reforms passed, premiums under the state insurance program have increased 9.4 percent. The study found that if a middle-income person on the cheapest avail...

Ok, I am going to shamelessly cross-post something from Sybil Vane of Bitch, PhD. who is, after all, one of those pajama clad bloggers that still hasn't fallen asleep at the switch (yes, bitchPhD 'gets it', go visit them sometime!). Herewith - find - "Failed Children's Book Titles". Need a glass of water? No?. Did you brush your teeth? Let me smell your breath. Ok. Good. And now Colorless Reader, lets snuggle up together and read.. The Little Engine that Warmed Up The Whole World Harold and the Purple Thing How to Kill a Mockingbird Pride and Prejudice: The Story of Pat Robertson The Scarlet Letter and Other Cautionary Tales for Abstinence-Only Education Walter the Farting Dog That Went to Live on a Farm Because Really, He Just Wouldn't Stop Farting Richard Scarry's Best Storybook Ever! Which Isn't Saying Much Because Most of His Books Aren't Storybooks, Really Mouse Soup and Other Recipes For Poor Children Is Your Mama a Llama? Only...

;)

Final Form. Note this image includes the comments on original post as part of the artwork. Thank you. :)

We need Universal, real, single payer option Healthcare reform in the United States of America. And we need it now . The committee members have been paid off, and the Lobbyists succeeded in delaying the vote a few more weeks - the commitee bill is going to try to become one that drops the key part of it we all need. And then the clock will keep ticking . By my calculations that means, that from now until 17 days from now they will just 30 million dollars in bribery. Legalized. Bribery. Thats 30 million dollars coming down to your representative, or senator. Now. If you don't think that will put a powerful leash on him, think again. There's only on way to counter that. Remember that online donations gave 200 Million dollars in just about twice or four times that timeframe, alone - in the 2008 election cycle and the upcoming advent of microdonation and rapid-pay election models will put the bigger money on the table. The blogosphere has had a profound effect on the elector...

Ok, work out with almost nothing. Drop to the floor and do a half pushup. Hold it for 30 seconds. If you can. Try even . 10. Do a situp. And just raise yourself 6 cm off the floor - see if you can hold that. Just do it. Find your limits at work today and push them. If anyone is lagging on your invoices, get them to pay. Fix things. Get alot of work done. Now. Kick some butt. Take some names. I'm going to head down to the middle of Atlanta today with a circuit board thats been bothering me. For me, this means I have some on-the-fly coding to do for software that is heading to a conference and it will hit the conference floor bug-free. It has 55 errors in it now. Damnit. Ok. Get back to work you little sneak, or this could be you:

And this is what my wife and I did on our honeymoon. Get the picture?

Although we've seen good moves to include an honorable and decent universal health care package moving to the floor, the latest setback that the lobbyists have dealt to delay the vote on the legislation out of committee, makes it all the more likely that the 1.5 million dead presidents they are waltzing into the pockets ... per day .. of senators and congresspersons - will end up making one dead president standing. And so, just for fun (and because I am such an Obombre) I thought it might be fun to look back at a few quotes from the President - as this issue finally drags him down while he's sitting up there, starry eyed , in the white house and his party is getting cash hand over fist from lobbyists. So , here's the still living President, before he became Mr. TV Star. Its like I was shot out of a cannon. I am so overexposed. I make Paris Hilton look like a recluse... After all the attention - People Magazine, GQ, Vanity Fair, Letterman - I figure there's nowhere ...

Because sometimes 140 characters is all you need to express yourself. Uses for a useless medium Breaking news - follow the source you like, and you'll get it even when you're in the john Keeping Tinyurl.com in business - why not? someone had to compress your url for you. spying - did you have anything better to do with your free time, than check up on someone you don't know, and experience the rush of pretending that you do? D/S Collar - slave should let master know everything. bitch. :) unweave the fabric of society - stuck in a long line? on a train? don't talk to the person next to you .. talk to the world hack government - tweet your message of revolution. just don't go deep enough to give depth of reporting, thats news media entertainment's job! antidote to blogging - because hey, after all things are so much better now . pretend you're sexting - your friends won't know the difference. and that chick you were going to see in ...

I saw Mr. Kite jump through a hogshead of real fire. Now I can die happy. As I booted 'Across the Universe', I was actually kind of tired from another long run + for some reason while Bono Hewson (oh, wait, I mean Dr. Robert) was singing I am the walrus, my kitten went up to me and started licking me. I suddenly felt this incredible sense of bliss. The little fucker climbed up onto my shoulder and fell asleep. It only got better from there. A film should wire you up, sort of like a ritual - if its done right. Whatever we're doing - (sexual, religious, recreational) if whatever gets taken out of us, doesn't either put something back in - doesn't help us to grow. Normally things like this make you keen. In this case, even more so. Across the Universe is a film that explores a simple theme of a series of cascading stories based on Beatles songs - but done with a visual and epic sound flair that accents the medium and carries the film well. It is a love story. ...

My cats are kind of wild, but I love them very much - and my relationship to them has to be extremely structured or I lose them to either the woods, or little girls down the street with stay-fresh kitten food in juicy foil packs. So, how I pet my cats determines whether or not they will stay with me. That, of course, and food. I have noticed that if I am kind to them in a certain manner, they stay. Apart from the first rule that one should never hit a cat with ones hand (its the thing you will pet them with ) the first thing about petting your cat is to realize that the verbalizations and gestures that will comprise a response to your touch are meant to let you know where you stand as well as acknlowedge your companionship. Cats rarely meow when they are hunting or playing with a ball of string. Thats the way they would want to be always. A cat is looking for a type of companionship that will not compromise its hunting ground - they are by and large solitary animals. When...

Ok, this is a blog - not a cold scientific journal or open mike poetry. So before I leap into a few fairly wild things that naturally fall out of the research I've been doing I thought I'd start off here by sharing something a bit more earthy than telling you where to go find God. First, I have two kittens now. Most of my other cats are gone , for some reason - My darkest and oldest female, only shows up now for five minutes and then disappears. My oldest male is gone for months at a time. Recently my younger female disappeared abruptly, I am almost certain she was killed - she was nursing her kittens at the time. My younger male has a little girl down the street that loves him - and I have given her family the Ok to keep feeding him, he will eventually be there all the time. So in effect, I am down to two cats again. Tarot. And a little black male called Simon. I have been de-worming them. Why is it that parasites always come along, when there are little kittens? And not ...

Don Pablo , el hombre.

Her: From now on, financially - dont say you are sitting on a pile of money - you'll not give any more money. You'll not think I have a pile of money. You'll not be dishonest. And you'll treat people the right way. I have intelligent, and I'll do right. Do not think "I am the only intelligent person in the world and all the others are stupid." Me: What are your plans to stay in India? How long do you, personally want to stay ? Her: Not ask. Not criticizing. Blog is your life. Me: I was just writing down what you were saying, (expletive deleteD) Her: Bye! (hangs up) Waits 5 minutes, then calls back, deeply apologetic. She is victorian. No cussing. Her: Do you use that term with your mom? Why use that term with me? Did you buy a slave, with me? Its not today, you're doing that forever. In front of kids too. Don't do that anymore. My mother used to fundraise and give blankets to poor people in the hospital. Her: You've been ...

He placed the collar around her neck and locked it with a key he keeps on a chain He touched her earring and a lock of her hair that contained the ashes of her son and traced it to her chin And made her look up at him He told her that he loved her and her voice broke And she was free And she walks today through fences and across borders Sometimes His maps aren't quite right and she floats in the middle of oceans Or on the top of buildings But there are cars driving through her neighborhood now with cameras filming your house and soon she will return Its not something he was really into so he just wrote a program and let it run It might be useful for kids someday who need to stay away from a certain zone or maybe a pet he made alot from ADSX So one day he just threw the key off a cliff catching the sun as it spins it landed on the top of a tree far below to think a thought that someday It will line a crow's nest Or rust away public...

Quietly Passing their time in the garden and grassland away subjects in line with a bite on the hind running them down or bleating in kind The horse travelled far to meet the sheep on the hill and walked up to her door then quietly walked away Sheep smiled seeing him go she watched him from the porch then went about her day Sort of like those two girls that kiss in a nightclub and make all the guys go Daaamn And by his force of nature Eros and philos are kept apart Just another day, a horse to fleece the flock and an old white sheep galloping away in the meadow to feel each precise gift bending from morning to night and night again to day to live second by second this far is good enough for him after all he deals in quiet gestures and pressure The horse returned to the garden and the sheep to her hill both to be surround by their loyal subjects and friends For horse there are those who ride him and from whom pressure makes quiet his mind For sheep...

Let us be lovers we'll marry our fortunes together 'I've got some real estate here in my bag' So we bought a pack of cigarettes and Mrs. Wagner pies And we walked off to look for America 'Kathy,' I said as we boarded a Greyhound in Pittsburgh - Michigan seems like a dream to me now It took me four days to hitchhike from Saginaw I've gone to look for America Laughing on the bus - Playing games with the faces - She said the man in the gabardine suit was a spy I said Be careful his bowtie is really a camera :) 'Toss me a cigarette, I think there's one in my raincoat' 'We smoked the last one an hour ago' So I looked at the scenery, she read her magazine And the moon rose over an open field - "Kathy, I'm lost," I said, though I knew she was sleeping I'm empty and aching and I don't know why Counting the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike They've all gone to look for America All gone to loo...

In a national healthcare system - who should get paid, if you're healthy? Answer: The doctor. Why? Wouldn't we want a Safeway model, where we all get to work out, and get discounts on our premiums? Because we would all pay the same, up front - and yes, its going to be in Taxes. It will work out to about 800.00 per year. The Insurance Company Lobby wants to hide that fact from you - its the thing that will "destroy America". This national healthcare is offered to Citizens, but also illegal aliens as well as long as they register with the system / renewal fee equal to the taxes levied. If they are living here less than a year, or are on a travel Visa, care will be free as long as we have deals set up with their country. Medical records stored by Genetic Sequence Index would prevent the system from being gamed. Racism has its roots in certain aspects of popular culture, it has to be eliminated before we get to this kind of Indexing scheme. When and not if. ...

Ah suburbia gives you so many options go get drunk play strategy games go to the pool and admire that chicks tattoos you know, the pixie and x marks the spot right between her tits Why not live the good life, hang out with neighbors? Hear their voice and nod your head Completely ignore them. Isn't that sad? Hey. I do it as well. Whatever Once a punk Always a punk Maybe if you push yourself hard enough mile ten or so it will be like moshing you can play games 'close your left eye five miles' pretend your blind again like you did with your girlfriend making it home with your right eye strong to fall asleep on the grass look at the stars smell the fresh air and wallow in your filth and listen to the sound Of the nightfall Maybe tomorrow get to the office early enough to go hang up on the telemarketers And for a change be nothing the nothing that I am the nothing that you are Hey Nice to meet you, Mr. Lawyer. I think I met your gir...

We live in a highly sexualized culture. There are alluring women on the side of bus stops selling shoes. Teams of psychiatrists assigned to a product placement that yields maximum impact in a certain demographic, based on sexual imagery. Like the cigarettes whose tobbacco is shot into a sort of nico styrofoam by superCritical CO 2 - sexualization in our culture inflates and reduces burn time - it makes for fluid relationships, fluid sexual identities and a general sense of sexual malaise. Idealized images of women and men participating in highly publicized divorces. Perfect women with perfect bodies wearing perfect clothes. Men shown as aggressive, dominant and driving the car you want. No families. No silly, boring moments that exist between real lovers. Its all flash. Its all about all about tearing things down, cutting us away from our roots, our nature. Sexualization of culture induces a fluidity to relationships; money as a vehicle of status induces fluidity in social hier...

My daughter's favorite band. Skipping the Britney Spears fashion stage and heading straight to Corsets?

Photographed on the Kenai Peninsula of Alaska by Nate Zeman

Pain is weakness leaving the body Pain is a called out warning Of something or someone Broken, torn, cut, exploded Burned, twisted, rent Smashed, altered, burst Violated. In its whisper there is an echo of things to come of ourselves of what we really are and who we can become Pain does not forget Pain does not forgive We see through a glass, darkly All our daily trances The hunt that becomes the nightly dream A mirror forged by fire gleams Strangely cool to the touch Compact and sweet Something takes a part of you Something takes a part of me Pain is a continuum that rises from apathy to enfold and shape us Once you release it or decide that you can endure it Pain will sweep through towns and villages and whole cities transferring itself from one to another its simple code to splice They will look upon its face or at least, they will try Some will see Chaos A shadow Maybe some will see The face of a cold hunger strangely warm to the...

There will be a solar eclipse for India and Asian, and the Marshall Islands. Tomorrow's eclipse will be the longest solar eclipse of the 21st century. At least thats what she said last night.. :)

Queen of Light took her bow And then she turned to gold, The Prince of Peace embraced the gloom And walked the night alone. (dance in the dark of night) (sing to the morning light) The dark Lord rides in force tonight And time will tell us all. Throw down your plow and hoe, Rest not to lock your homes. Side by side we face the might Of the darkest of them all. I hear the horses' thunder Down in the valley below, I'm waiting for the angels of Avalon, Waiting for the eastern glow. The apples of the valley hold all the seeds of happiness, The ground is rich from tender care, Which they do not forget, no, no. Dance in the dark of night, Sing to the morning light. The apples turn to brown and black, The tyrant's face is red. War is common cry, Pick up your swords and fly. The sky is filled with good and bad Mortals never know. The night is long The beads of time pass slow, Tired eyes look to the sunrise, Waiting for the east...

I don`t think you love me Confusion settling in I don`t think I`ll be staying Around here, anymore There`s no question that I love you But I`m living in my own time And here I am debating Whether I`m wrong, or right Who am I To make a judgement of Your life? I`m only Passing by Passing by All the promises I gave you Helped me to survive And all the times I wished you`d save me You were the love of my life Who am I To make a judgement of Your life? I`m only Passing by (Passing by) Who Am I To make a judgement of Your life? I`m only... Passing by (Passing by...)

Any time, any day You can hear the people say That love is blind Well, I don't know but I say love is kind Soldier boy kisses girl Leaves behind a tragic world But he won't mind, he's in love And he says love is fine Oh -- yes, indeed we know That people will find a way to go No matter what the man said "And love is fine for all we know For all we know, our love will grow" --That's what the man said So won't you listen to what the man said He said... The wonder of it all baby.. (the wonder of it all, baby .. )

I realized today that if I were ever caught doing anything really wrong, I'd probably just freeze + try to weasel my way out of it. I need to be able to relax, accept responsibility, chart a path to a better situation and follow it. Resolving things that are obviously wrong, should be more straightforward. Oddly enough I'm better sometimes at the subtle stuff. Should be better able to take care of the big ticket items. I would love for everything to be perfect, I have my desk + table all lined up - In control freak mode, I clear all the work that 'needs to get done' before I move on to the really important work. Its a weird situation sometimes, and part of this flaw I accept. For example, I get very sensitive to sound. I need to be able to accept variables, assign priorities properly even if it means getting rid of the McJob. Don't sweat the small stuff. Cherche la femme: Nice, but they're just another form of human being. I'm much better off igno...

When you're quiet, but your eyes Are saying everything I need to know I want to burrow like a sparrow Dodging alley cats and whiskers Why do we talk in whispers? Is it painful hearing voices ring So early in the morning? I've been waiting for the day When I can throw away these numbers That line my dresser drawers and cupboards Start me over Life seems so much slower With your toothbrush by the mirror Can I make it any clearer? And I just might say it tonight I just might say it tonight I just might tell you tonight That I love you And you should stay all my life They'll tell you that you'll maybe make it If you just cut your clothes and change your hair But I won't fuss and moan 'bout what you wear I feel so much better When I read your dirty letters Just wear your sweaters in the winter 'Cause I wouldn't want you to get cold I hope that we're together when we're old I would have sold all my possessions Never took...

Russ Hennings is the guy who shot this cover. For a cousin, you could do alot worse. Lately I've been wondering just how it might be possible to get some of my family together and shoot a film. I think I've found a way to shoot a film for less than 5,000.00 bucks in total funding. A full feature film with all kinds of cool angle shots, good sound, good image. Fully edited down. Here's how. First, the camera. A modified Nikon D-90 that can shoot high and long enough for us to get dailies off it. Pull cards on it while you shoot, probably. I am concerned about resolution and ISO. And other stuff. This thing isn't technically a movie camera. For stills, its great. Not sure about continuous movie. Total cost: 1400.00 but I think I can get it for like. 1000.00. Otherwise, I'm pretty sure I can get a good camera for less than 2,000.00 somewhere. For Dolly shots, use a Skateboard. For Louma shots, just spin the boom down (the camera is light). If you want...

I slept with Tarot and Scarlet last night. I woke up to find them nipping me. You have been warned. Colorless Green Ideas was originally designed to be an exploration of Thomas Mann's question regarding the acceptance of pretty bizarre things - like , the rise of the Third Reich and what the German University System did when the Aryan myth started going around. It was meant to ask questions. It began in 2004, and then I decided to shut it down. For two years. Then again in 2006, I ran until late 2007 and shut it down for months. The basic idea behind the title of this blog, comes from a quote from Noam Chomsky - who , when asked at a conference - to produce a sentence that had no meaning whatsoever - said "Colorless green ideas sleep furiously." If I am writing about kittens, it is probably time to hang it up. Those little nerds keep tearing into my quilt. Last night I did Carmichaels Trainright Spin Class and I walked off before they hit the mountains...

Stars, Songs, Faces Gather the stars if you wish it so. Gather the songs and keep them. Gather the faces of women. Gather for keeping years and years. And then … Loosen your hands, let go and say good-by. Let the stars and songs go. Let the faces and years go. Loosen your hands and say good-by Carl Sandburg

Grass Pile the bodies high at Austerlitz and Waterloo. Shovel them under and let me work--          I am the grass; I cover all. And pile them high at Gettysburg And pile them high at Ypres and Verdun. Shovel them under and let me work. Two years, ten years, and the passengers ask the conductor:          What place is this?          Where are we now?          I am the grass.          Let me work Carl Sandburg

One night one of my friends said. Lets go do crimes. I said. No. When he came back, he figured out what was going on with his girlfriend and I. I didn't have to tell him. He just turned to me and said.. Keep her. I did. She and I figured out that our souls were kind of like patchwork quilts. She wanted to cut a few pieces out and see. Kink goes on. She got arrested, and somehow I didn't. They thought I was stable. Maybe I was. Today I taught my daughter about IM. I said. Slow it down. Make them make a statement they can back up. They're not real. Neither are you. Learn. Then I put her on computer restriction. She doesn't care she's going down to the islands tomorrow. Yesterday a business partner of mine I have been working with for 12 years accused me of armed robbery. Pretty good way to start off a monday, wouldn't you think ? I actually prevented from being a disaster because I was working in his building at 4 am. I happened...

It was a dark and stormy night the wind blowing so hard it shook concrete and reinforced steel of our wall lightning when it struck, filled the whole of the sky when she arrived and said Tesseracts are real And when my unborn son told me to go It was like walking but really riding through a veil if you touched it , it felt like a gel It had no form and it shined like water It feels like rainfall on a sunny day and as you passed through , cool to touch with the sun coming out and all the colors of sound If you passed through one you may have heard waves on the shore of Iceland or the drums of Catalon Its kind of like holding a cup or a kitten the moment before the sunrise And then came the Black thing That was when I thought I heard a voice say God made Foolish things to shame the wise And weak things to shame the strong The black thing was entropy Its strange to tell the story because it wasn't just a journey it was , instead, sort of like...

.. that girds the flame in my loins. I am going name her Scarlet . when I get her? I know she's just a ... I'm sorry I can't say it. Colorless reader, would you look differently upon me if I told you that... I want to have .. um.. a relationship... with a battery powered electrical device? I have already told my mom I met the woman who changed my life. You may see a camera. I see... long walks on the beach at sunset. "Scarlet" and I , drinking together at the soda shoppe (woops scarlet, is that a spot on you? let me clean that off.) I hear.. the song... "If you like Pina Coladas" ... Is it so wrong, I ask you?

I am focussed on a training plan for my IronMan upcoming early next year. There's got to be a way to do it without fragmenting the family, under fifteen hundred dollars. This is a discussion. First, the majority of this money should go to the bike. Clearing your travel overhead, registration, a good pair of shoes, etc. - you're looking at basically 1000 left over for the bike. How do you get a good triathlon bike, under 1,000.00? Well first you have to set a few goals about what the bike is meant to do. It will not be meant to be the lightest thing in the world, you just can't get a 15 pound bike for less than 2,000.00. So be happy with a 20 pound , even a 23 pound bike. At that point, its going to be all about comfort. Take some time to find a bike that fits you like a glove. Measure your inseam, and actually have that number in your head as you make it over to the bike shop. You'll hit a 1300.00 wall in the new bike shops, and you might as well forget tr...

For me, one of the most romantic and fascinating moments that could be found from any film, is the moment in 'the professional' where mathilde and leon are in his apartment and they have a conversation about a pig. Mathilde uses the term disparagingly. Leon insists, no, pigs are very clean animals. I have one in my kitchen. She says no you don't I was just there. Dont move. He says. She realizes, as his pig oven mitt peers over the edge of the wall... that she has affection for him. That he won't hurt her. The scene is split. Later that night, Leon gets up in the middle of the night, puts a silencer on the gun and walks quickly and purposefully to her room, levels the gun to her head . And doesn't pull the trigger.

Caroline laughs and It's raining all day She loves to be one of the girls She lives in the place In the side of our lives Where nothing is Ever put straight She turns herself round And she smiles and she says 'This is it' 'That's the end of the joke' And loses herself In her dreaming and sleep And her lovers walk Through in their coats All of her lovers All talk of her notes And the flowers That they never sent And wasn't she .. easy? And isn't she Pretty in pink? The one who insists He was first in the line Is the last to Remember her name He's walking around In this dress That she wore She's gone But the joke's the same Caroline talks to you Softly sometimes She says 'I love you' and 'Too much' She doesn't have anything You want to steal Well Nothing you can touch Isn't She? Pretty In Pink