Things that Need to Change With My Life
- I realized today that if I were ever caught doing anything really wrong, I'd probably just freeze + try to weasel my way out of it. I need to be able to relax, accept responsibility, chart a path to a better situation and follow it. Resolving things that are obviously wrong, should be more straightforward. Oddly enough I'm better sometimes at the subtle stuff. Should be better able to take care of the big ticket items.
- I would love for everything to be perfect, I have my desk + table all lined up - In control freak mode, I clear all the work that 'needs to get done' before I move on to the really important work. Its a weird situation sometimes, and part of this flaw I accept. For example, I get very sensitive to sound. I need to be able to accept variables, assign priorities properly even if it means getting rid of the McJob. Don't sweat the small stuff.
- Cherche la femme: Nice, but they're just another form of human being. I'm much better off ignoring them - and I qualify this to mean only my wandering eye. Physical exhaustion and partial starvation are an excellent means to an end. The only girl that turned my head yesterday was an asian and I think it was because I was hungry for Japanese.Cannibalism is frowned upon in many cultures. I understand that, but I was so hungry I felt like Charlie Chaplin in the Film "Gold Rush" where the prospectors are in a cabin, and he looks around and sees the person he's with ... and they turn into a big leg of chicken.
- I should be responsible enough to be able to steer clear of expenses I incur, through either my fault or even no fault of my own - for others. I need to find a way to stay in positive ROI territory, even with my personal life. I should find a way to justify, for example, cellphone expenses.
- I should disabuse myself of the concept that I am something of a poet, writer, or even a half decent researcher. I am actually nothing. I am listening to Paul McCartney as I edit this down .. "Band on the Run". In the greater context of everything, anything I've written is just fortunate circumstance. This realization won't stop my writing. Unless I'm lucky.
- I need to pitch arrogance. Especially political arrogance. The art of the polity should be reserved for people who can actually understand how other people think and feel, and I only come up for air every now and then, in that department. There are people people in the world. At some point, I need to trust the process and stop being so paranoid. Who knows, maybe even actually join a political party. Tell you what. If the Democrats can figure out how to become the party of smart government, I'll just vote straight ticket and live a happier life. Ok? Either that or if the GOP has the nerve to destroy itself like the Know-Nothing party and become a completely different party altogether that satisfies my innate libertarian within. You name it. I'm flexible. Until then, my job is to realize that I'm not Joe Trippi. Even if I spent almost an entire year hassling him on Raging Bull, just for kicks. Before he started that whole Howard Dean thing. What was his name again? SurferWave? Or something like that.. hmm.... that reminds me... need to put that whole stock market prediction arrogance thing into check as well.
Thats what you get. Want anything more, and you'll have to pay a quarter just like everyone else.