Eating Girlscouts .. Cookies...

I bought three boxes. There was some cold milk. I decided to chill the thin mints.

The snow and rain fell and the day was so grey and cold it made your bones ache. I lit a cigarette. I knew the thin mints were in there. Waiting for me.

I went into the kitchen and poured myself a tall one. Cold milk. Fresh. Then I reached for the girl scout's box. I mean.. box of girl scout cookies. The thin mints were chilled.

Two plastic wrappers. I tore into 'em like a pack of wolves ripping apart a caribou. The satisfying sound of the cellophane echoed in the empty room. The grey light shone through the sliding glass door. Empty sky. Empty city. Empty stomach.

When I came to, it sounded like someone was doing a tap dance on my head. It was the kids coming back through the front door. I hate them to see me like this. Empty glass of milk. Cookie crumbs everywhere. And the box of girl scout cookies as empty as the sixth chamber of a smith and wesson after target practice.

I made no apologies. I ate them all. Every last one. And I'd do it again. Every time I open my eyes I think of her... I just can't make her go away. I'll pour myself another cold glass of milk. And when you have a glass, you have to have cookies with it... I'm going to ride this vicious cycle like Lance Armstrong in the Tour De Your Pants.

The night is approaching - soon the darkness will spread across the naked city like the curtain pulled tight around the booth in front of that big Wizard of Oz head floating over there. Don't ask. And in the darkness of the night will come a darkness and empty rumbling within. A cowardly lion's growl from my stomach - one that says. Cookies. And not just any cookie. But a girl scout cookie.

Ok, so I eat 'em by the box. So what. Everyone has a vice. Not many have virtues. The tagalongs have peanut butter. Protein. Real nutrition. And chocolate is good for your heart isn't it? You bet.

It wasn't always like this. I was once a man. I could hold my head up high, instead of burying it into someone's box.. I mean a box of girlscout cookies. But that's the way things are. Don't look down at me. Instead, I am going to look up at you. Straight in the eyes. Works every time. Ah. Memories...

That's the way it was - empty girlscout cookies scattered all over my desk. I thought I was a goner.

And then. She walked in. Legs that could stop a clock. And she said.. "Hey honey, the girl scouts were selling cookies at the store. I got you some thin mints. Is that ok?"

I couldn't take my eyes off her beautiful box. My mouth was watering. I kept my cool. "Sure, hon. I'll take 'em. Hand 'em here".

And as she handed me the package our fingers touched for just an instant. And something passed between us. A split second.

And then it was gone. Gone. Gone I tell you. Like every good thing in the world. And now the dust settles on my small office - girl scout cookie boxes stacked up on my desk. Old, faded newspaper clippings on the wall.

Let me show you some pictures from my wallet. See? Here's my first box of thin mints. Look at that design. And here's the trefoils outside in the summertime. ... Wait. Where are you going? Come back , I have home movies...